Post # 1
i’m still very far away from any concrete details but i really think that we will end up having a smaller wedding with people who are important in our lives.
i worry that because these select people come from very different walks of life the event may end up very clique-y feeling (where people stick together in little groups) or awkward (people who do not know other people/have nothing in common or decide not to come because there aren’t any other people going that they know).
did anyone have a similar situation? ice breakers? other strategies? lots of alcohol? ;p
Post # 3
I think that happens at most weddings anyways. Friends tend to stick to freinds, family to family aside from those few people like me who will talk/dance to/with anyone and everyone.
How many guests are we talking?
Post # 4
I was worried this would happen at my small wedding (27 people including us) but I remember during dinner looking around and excitedly telling my DH that everyone was talking to everyone else. I had thought to put conversation starter cards on tables but forgot. Don’t stress! You will be so happy on your wedding day you probably won’t notice or care if groups are happening, everyone will have a great time
Post # 5
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry much about it. Everyone is going to be at your wedding to see the two of you become one, and that alone will peak their interest if they have not met prior. Don’t sweat it or at least try not to! Our wedding is small 20 or so people while it’s mostly family from both sides… I never once thought about the conflict of them not talking, lol.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
OPur wedding had 30 guests and everyone talked to everyone else. Remember, the female guests will have already met at least once before for your bridal shower, and those who attend your bachelorette will have already met twice. And many of the male guests will have met ahead of time at the bachelor party. those pre-wedding events definitely help get people acquainted. Add in a little alcohol to grease the skids, and things will go just fine. i think the hardest part for us was the seating plan. Everyone sat with us at one very long table, so it took probably 5 versions of the seating plan to get things right. We needed to make sure that good friends sat near eachother, some of our more outrageous friends were sitting far enough away from some of our more conservative folks so as to avoid conflict, etc. In the end it was so worth the effort. being able to look out and see everyone laughing and chatting was such an amazing feeling. And quite a few new FB and real life friendships were formed through the wedding process.
Post # 7
We are having 50 guests and FI and I have been together for 4 years (5 when the wedding happens) and since our fam lives altogether in our hometown, they have seen each other and spent time together, actually they already knew each other before we even knew each other! I would maybe suggest trying to do more family get togethers, doesn’t matter if it’s a backyard bbq or dinner at a restaurant just try to get them together to make each other feel more comfortable around each other. You and FI’s fam don’t live far away from each other or you guys do they?
Post # 8
i imagine something around the 50ish mark.
i have people in my life who are drastically different and also very opinionated – such that i envision some heated/uncomfy debates between people if left alone. additionally my partner and i are from different backgrounds so the families speak different languages and couldn’t be more polar opposites..they are huggers and kissers. we don’t do that. at all. agh! lol.
i agree with the strategic seating chart idea but in a small space that might be a bit tough. i’ve always loved a challenge tho 😉
the conversation card idea is great! perhaps i can think of some “light” topics to set the mood.
thank you for all of your encouragement. i think i probably just worry too much. i try not to worry about it until the actual guest list is finalized.
Post # 9
People love two things — music and food. So have a great DJ, some native folk dancing if applies and a good variety of music.
You could have your sit-down dinner “banquet italian style” whereby you have long tables and everyone sits together and “passes” food to each other. This is a popular trend at most smaller weddings today to give the guests a chance to mingle and talk about the food. Passing food to your right and to your left and making contact with others is fun. Do keep wine flowing (a different one for each course) and an open bar throughout the night.
Have a nice menu card made up and that’s a great ice breaker as people like to talk about food and have small framed photos of different shots of you and your guests scattered through out the tables so that people could see you both in different situations and talk about that.
You should definitely have some kind of dancing, a nice dessert table so that guests could go up and serve themselves, and again, talk about the nice desserts. Party favors like novelty hats, wedding horns, and neon jewelry that glow in the dark is fun while dancing and makes for great photos. You could also have a couple of polaroids so that your guests could take photos of each other and take one home with them – a nice way of getting new people to meet each other. Don’t worry, it will be fine and your folks, no matter where they are from, want to be there and enjoy you and your FI and party.
Post # 10
You are totally worrying too much. 🙂 We had a wedding with 55 guests, all from different parts of our lives. It was great! Everyone mingled, talked to everyone else. There were a few wallflowers who mainly stuck to the people they knew, but that was fine too. Everyone’s adults; presumably they know how to handle a cocktail party where they don’t know everyone. This is no different. I actually don’t think you need any conversation-starters or anything like that.
ETA: Oh, and having it in a small space is great. That way it doesn’t feel all empty and echo-y. It puts people in easy proximity and makes it easier to mingle. We didn’t have a sit-down dinner, so that facilitated mingling too.
Post # 11
One thing I saw on a wedding blog was having one small cake on each table instead of having a big wedding cake. Each table was named the kind of cake they had (‘red velvet’, ‘double chocolate’, etc), and during dessert, the DJ encouraged people to get up and have a slice of cake from another table. That could start some anti-clique conversations!
Post # 12
I think this actually happens more frequently at larger weddings. No worries, it will be a wonderful, intimate wedding.
Post # 12
lovekiss: That would only apply if you have someone to throw you a bridal shower or bachelorette party. Not all of us have someone who can throw those for us.
Post # 13
- Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI
PrincessPiggy: we had 12 guests but they stayed in the same resort and got there a few days early. We arranged a get together meal first which helped and DHs friend instantly connected with my family and already knew his family. He worked really hard to get them together and talk even when we were busy doing other things. It really went a long way!!!!
Post # 14
PrincessPiggy: we are having something similar to you.
FI’s family speaks English as their second/third language.
I speak English and their second language.
Luckily for us, we have a lot of bilingual/trilingual friends. The ones who only speak one language should be able to have a good time considering the majority of everyone will speak 2 languages. We have some very embarrassing friends and we also have some extremely opinionated and conservative friends, but honestly I’m planning on putting the conservative people together and the outrageous people together.
Everyone else will fit in somewhere between.
Don’t stress about it too much. You might be surprised at who will mingle with who. You can’t change people and weddings almost always end up being clique-y anyways.
Post # 15
Our wedding is going to be small, probably only 50 people or so and I’m actually not too worried about people not speaking to each other. My family has never met FI’s family since we are from two different countries, and since our wedding is in our hometown I’m sure FI’s family will be asking my family all about restaraunts and things to do while they are there, if nothing else.