Small wedding, big family?

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Would you consider getting married where his family is, with your immediate family, and then having a party when you get back? 

Post # 4
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

What we will be doing, and what my cousin did, is we’ll be having a small US destination wedding in September 2015 with immediate family and close friends (and possibly a few of my aunts because they were already harassing me about it over Xmas). Then we’ll be having a get together in Pittsburgh for his mom’s side and friends (where we live) late fall and a get-together at my father’s house in Minnesota for my ginormous family (80) and his dad’s side in the spring… serving beverages, appetizers, and desserts at both. We’re too looking to save money.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  SeaOfLove.
Post # 5
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

MrsNarwahl:  Sorry, but it may come across as tacky/gift grabby, if you dont invite family that you are close to, to your wedding.  Are you trying to have a fancy wedding but feel that you can’t afford to have #100 or so?  There are so many ways to make your wedding beautiful and affordable.  If that is what you want, and you can’t imagine not celebrating with your family, and you need help to make it happen, this is the place.  If you want to describe what you’d like, I would try to help you.  

Post # 6
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Tacky? I don’t see it as that at all.  Remember, it’s YOUR wedding.I want mine to be small because I’ve always dream of an intimate wedding in outside with a beautiful background. The most important people are you two, anyway. It’s so much more special if you don’t have 100+ people trying to grab your attention. Plus, the amount of detail that goes into a large wedding… I don’t have the patience for that. Just my opinion. 

Post # 9
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

MrsNarwahl:  I can relate to you 100%. My mom also has 9 siblings. FH always mentions that if we were to have a large, more-traditional wedding, I would have 100 people and he would have 20. And we’ve also lived together for awhile… just bought a house. So we’re pretty well-stocked. Lol. We’ll probably say something similar about gifts for our mini-receptions.

For your invitations, I would probably say, “Come celebrate our marriage.” Possibly mention “before the big day!” It sounds like most people will know when the real wedding will be before they show up, whether you specify it or not.  You may want to briefly describe, “we would love to celebrate with you, our loved ones, while the weather is still nice! ”  

Just some ideas. Good luck with everything 🙂 it sounds like it will work out fine.

Post # 10
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

My family is HUGE, my FI side is not so much. However my FMIL didn’t throw a fit that my side would out number hers. And that’s in poor taste on her part.

Are you really close to that many people? I have a large family and while it is nice to have them there are some I am not going to invite. Cousins I havent seen in a while are getting the boot. And no kids.

I don’t see anything wrong with you kick off party. People are obessed with weddings, which is great, but unless they are paying for it they should keep their mouths shut. ALthough to be honest I think your family isn’t that type and would understand that you haven’t the funds and just want a fun family get together. 

Post # 11
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My family is huge too.  My husband’s is tiny.  That’s just how it is/was.  Most guests were from my family.  

Since you have it all worked out with your family, whatever you do is fine.  😉

Post # 12
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

MrsNarwahl:  we’re having a small-ish (45 people) wedding on a Saturday and then a big party the next day as we both have stupidly big families too.  We’ve worded it as a ‘post wedding celebration’ so you could do something similar but with pre wedding.  I don’t care if people on here think it’s gift grabby as everyone invited knows us and knows we’re not like that.

Post # 14
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Church

I can’t imagine a small wedding.  Our chapel will look like My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Post # 15
Member
703 posts
Busy bee

MrsNarwhal:  we’re doing this exact same thing! We are having 28 including us and my sisters kids in my hometown. I have a huge family 49 1st cousins on just one side! We went backwards and forwards. We were going to have an early ceemony and dinner then a big party that evening then we were going to have a big party the following night. In the end I decided against all the party ideas. I think there would be family who would say oh I’m good enough for a party but not for the actual wedding. plus it’s hard to expect ppl to travel, take time off work etc for “just a party”. We will probably meet smaller groups over the Christmas period (we get married in nov) and just celebrate that way.

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