(Closed) Small wedding guilt…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

We are just having close family at our ceremony and a bigger reception with all of our friends afterwards. Just be honest with him, he should understand.

Post # 4
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Let him invite 3 people so you can have an intimate ceremony.  A wedding (just like a marriage) is about the bride and the groom.  He has agreed to a tiny ceremony so you win and all he wants is to invite an additional 3 people that will make it feel like his special day too.  I say you should compromise on this (yay, first compromise of your marriage!)

Post # 5
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

You’re not being a bitch. If you want it to be family for the ceremony, keep it that way. Ask FI to tell the guy friend/wife/childhood friend that the ceremony will be extremely tiny and just family, but they’re welcome to the big as all get out bash you’re throwing later! If I were the friend, I’d totally understand. Planning a wedding, no matter how small, is stressful.

That’s just me. I have no problem telling people things, regardless of etiquette. I don’t know if that’s not cool, but that’s what I would do.

Post # 6
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DeliciousDiva52:  We’re doing the same, but thinking about when we’re getting ready…  I have 2 sisters plus his sister and our moms, and he’ll only have our dads and my brother-in-law so I’ve told FI that if he wants a friend there then that’s fine. My worst nightmare would be him getting ready without any of his close friends and getting cold feet with no one to talk some sense into him! Maybe these friends are like family to him? Maybe you could have one attandant each and choose a friend of your own? I understand that once you open up to more than just FAMILY that it opens the whole issue of “who’s on the A list?” but marriage is also about comprimise. Talk to him and find out why he wants these friends?

Post # 7
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DeliciousDiva52:  Oh and on the flip side…. think about how awkward it will be for these friends while you’re taking family portraits etc.

Post # 8
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think we need more information. I will just say right now that “family” is more than the people you are related to by birth and marriage. How close is he to these friends? Mr. LK is an only child and his parents have both passed on. His friends ARE his family because he barely has any bio family left. In our situation there was no way that I could have denied his desire to have certain non-relatives there because he truly has a brother-type bond with some of his friends. Just some food for thought.

 

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