(Closed) Small wedding versus Elopement

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
Post # 4
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

OK, well probably more info is needed.

For me, a wedding with our family and friends was an important.  It was a sign that we were asking them and God for a blessing on our relationship and making a step to make that commitment in front of them.  It just seemed like it was more real and like we were more accountable that way.

So I think part of it is, is there significance to  your marriage in a wedding?

Would you be against potluck if $$ is an issue?

Post # 6
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Hmmm, that’s quite tricky.  Sometimes you have to ignore the mothers and do what you want (if you want a party).

But it doesn’t sound terribly important to you to have ‘witnesses’ so maybe it’s not worth it?

Do you have friends you want to celebrate with?

I guess there’s a big part of me that just feels like marriage should be a celebration.  I’ve seen it work with very little money.  But if you aren’t surrounded by supportive people maybe it is better to do a private celebration.  But it should be celebrated in some way!  Trip or reception or something.

Post # 7
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

it sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.  you want to elope…. so stop talking about and do it already.  πŸ™‚  that’s how elopements work, you don’t discuss it with everyone, you and your FI run off and get married!!   you have to do what’s right for you and your FI.  if you guys want to have a small wedding and dessert reception, do it, and don’t feel bad about that, either.

Post # 8
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee

Desert bars and potlucks are not tacky!  Every wedding in the church I grew up in we had a potluck.  They were delicious!

Elope and have a reception when you get back πŸ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say Elope! if my fi wanted too we would have went to Cabo or Vegas by now but he is really a family person and wants a big fat mexican wedding! lol

Post # 10
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say Elope! if my fi wanted too we would have went to Cabo or Vegas by now but he is really a family person and wants a big fat mexican wedding! lol

Post # 11
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

Even a courthouse wedding is fine.  No matter what you choose, wear your dress and marry your sweetie.    I understand the big family dilemma and urge you to follow your heart.  Best wishes.

Post # 12
Member
962 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s completely different for everyone… but we’re about to have a smallish wedding (60-70 guests) because FH wanted a wedding, while I wanted to elope.  It is insane how many things are involved in having a wedding and I’m a bit annoyed by shelling out all this money (mind you, our cost is only about $2,500) when we could have gone to a courthouse or Vegas eve, for thousands less.  If I could rewind several months, I’d stick to my guns with the elopement.  But that’s just me.  You can always throw a BBQ or ice cream social after your elopement to celebrate with family, if you wanted a bit of both worlds.

Post # 15
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Post court-house you can definitely have some friends over for cake and champagne and a little dancing. πŸ™‚

Yay!

Post # 16
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I say Elope!! Im in a similar situation. FI’s family is huge and we will HAVE to invite all of them! ALL! plus family friends and far relatives. I dont want that, so if we cannot do the 13-people wedding that I want we’re just gonna go away one weekend and come back with the surprise.

People can feel bad if they know you’re having a wedding and not inviting them but i think they can’t really say anything when they find out that you went away and did a very private thing.

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