- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
Hi everyone! Would love to get some input from the experience of other brides!
When we first started planning, my fiance told me he wanted to either elope or have a really really small wedding (as in, less than ten people). I have a huuuge family that I’m very close to who would have been really upset by this, and I’d always dreamed of sharing the day with my family and friends. He agreed that the wedding itself was more important to me than it is to him so he was fine with doing what I wanted, but I’ve been trying my best to keep things as intimate as possible.
Right now we’re at 150 guests (but about 100 of them are our family – for Asian families, 150 is pretty intimate. My sister just got married this year with close to 300 guests), and now that we’re getting closer to the date, he’s starting to freak out that it’s getting too huge and overwhelming. I know he’s not a planner so I’ve been trying to handle all the planning and projects on my own and with my bridesmaids. I’ve been leaving him the simple tasks that won’t stress him out too much, but he’s STILL way more stressed than I am.
The weird thing is he’s not scared about BEING married (he wants to be married right now), he says he’s just stressed about GETTING married and having so many people around for the wedding. He doesn’t manage his stress levels very well and he does get social anxiety in big groups, and I’ve been trying to take even more off his plate just to calm him down, but at this point I’m basically doing everything.
I don’t know what else I can do to ease his mind, and at this point we can’t cut the guest list significantly enough for him. And I’m irritated that he agreed to a guest list of approximately 150 almost a year ago, but only now that everything’s planned is it becoming a big deal and he’s pulling the “I didn’t want it like this… we wouldn’t have to worry about this if we had done it my way” card. Arghh!
Anyone else have to deal with a shy and stress-prone groom?