Smoker fiance won't stop stealing my money

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Sounds like he is stealing your parents money.

He’s a grown ass man. I wouldn’t put up with all this mooching.

Post # 3
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

sabrinabee2122:  Why do you want to marry him? I’d say you need to sit down with him, let him know that you KNOW he’s stealing from you and how disgusted you are by it. But honestly I’d just dump him. It doesn’t matter what he’s using it for or the fact that someday it’ll be “our” money, it’s that he’s sneaking around to take from you knowing you wouldn’t like it.

That is so sleazy.


BTW 2-3X a week is a good amount of sex. He’s purposefully being hurtful by bringing up his ex, how often they used to do it (I call BS by the way), and that he thinks of that to get off.


Post # 4
137 posts
Blushing bee

You consider him your fiance, a person who is stealing from you, it really does not sound as though he can be trusted at all. 

Post # 5
653 posts
Busy bee

Tell him to stop. If he doesn’t stop then LEAVE. This behavior is not ok. It’s not his money to take. You are not married yet.

Post # 6
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Break up with him? Certainly don’t marry him. Kick him out. 

He steals from you. He lies to you. What else do you need?


The only other thing I have to say… is maybe there’s something wrong and he should see a doctor if he truely is “blacking out” and “doesn’t remember” taking things – like your debit card. These episodes could really be something more than him just lying but it’s hard to say.

Post # 7
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why on earth do you love a thief? He’s not even paying his own way in life, and he still steals money from you?

Come one girl. Show yourself a little respect.

Post # 8
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m so sorry for what I’m about to say, but if I were you I’d kick him to the curb. The main issue is not the smoking. My husband had smoked for 10+ years when I met him, and it took him a few years to quit for good. It’s addictive and a hard habit to break. But hon, he STEALS from you. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Having to hide your money because you don’t trust your husband? And what happens when your mom no longer supports you and you have bigger responsibilities to take care of? He’s 5 years older than you and should be somewhat established. I don’t know of any man that age or older that would be okay with being completely financially dependent on his woman and her mom. I’m also willing to bet your libido would be increased if you were with someone who treated you better. You’re so young and obviously have a loving family foundation. Please know that you deserve better, and that he doesn’t deserve you.

Post # 9
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I couldn’t be with someone like this. A relationship is based on mutual respect/sharing and trust – neither of those things you are getting from him.

Post # 10
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

The problem here isn’t his smoking or his frustrations with how infrequently you’re having sex.  He is stealing from you and lying about it.

My advice?  Find someone who is capable of being honest and NOT stealing from you!  This is not someone I would want to marry.  

  • This reply was modified 2 years ago by  LMD.
Post # 11
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This guy needs a reality check and you need to get rid of him. Hes is 26……and is being supported by someone else who is 5 years younger than him……the sneaking around, the lying or playing dumbs (whatever you want to call it) is behavior that comes out of bigger problems of addiction and disconnect to people. If he lies and steals from someone who he supposedly loves and cares for….then hes not really all the genuine. Hes just stringing you along to keep getting what he wants. Its time for the loser to grow up. This is not healthy for any relationship. If hes doing this who is to say it wont do drugs or become an alcoholic, who is to say hes not using other women? Ive stated my share of idiots like this in the past….its never good, they use and abuse younger girls to get what they want because its easier than actually working hard for what they want. <br /><br />I AM a smoker…..and trust me….he is just making excuses to get what he wants and earn a pity party. Yes it is hard….but cigarette additctions dont really create the type of behavior he is showing……that’s a whole other problem. I have never known a single smoker that acts the way a drug addict does which is what this behavior is showing. Hes probably stealing money for other things to be honest….hes probably not just addicted to cigs hes probbly addicted to a whole bunch of other things.

Post # 12
4638 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Let me see if I got this right.. He steals from you, lies about it, mooches off you(r parents), and purposefully brings up his ex and their ‘amazing’ sex life to hurt you.. And you’re asking what people would do if they were you?

Run. Run far away. Quickly.

What about this guy is attractive to you? He sounds like a real sleaze. A disrespectful one at that.



Post # 13
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If you marry him you will have to put up with this forever. Forever! He doesn’t respect you if he is stealing money from you. This is a serious trust issue, especaially if you have your debit card deactivated because you’re always worried he’s going to use it. It doesn’t sound like you’re too into this relationship anymore. You don’t want to have sex with him and that pretty much says it all. Dump him. Being lower income is no reason to steal from your fiance.

Post # 14
33 posts

In the words of dan savage, dump the mother f#%@!er already. 

Post # 15
2016 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


sabrinabee2122:  girl 🙁 Why do you want to marry this boy? He’s a mooching liar. You’re enabling him and it’s not far to you or your family. Drop him like the bad habit he is. Give him the appropriate 30 days notice and kick his ass to the curb. Make sure he knows you’re serious and you need to be serious. You’re in a bad situation currently. If you don’t want to break up with him quite yet (which you really should) then asking him to move out will be tough. Tell him you need to focus on school and he needs to focus on being a man and showing you that he can handle the day to day responsibilities of being an independent adult before you marry him. Good luck 🙁 I’m sure you know all this and didn’t really want to hear it repeated.. You are young and there are a lot of fish in the sea.

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