Sneaky is as sneaky does… HUSBAND.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Firstly; we don’t all invade our partners privacy. Don’t try to validate your snooping by assuming others do… It’s clear to me that the only problem in your relationship is trust issues. Nothing you’ve said indicates any sneaking on your husband’s part. I urge you to get councilling; if you keep up your behaviour you will ruin your relationship.

Post # 4
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@JemmyGee:  Call him out. Ask for the new password while he is sitting in front of you with the computer. Don’t raise your voice, be cool and collected. Also ask him to explain how he knows this girl. If he tries to beat around the bush, stay cool and keep asking until the story makes sense. If he is doing something he shouldn’t he will resort to name calling, mud slinging or just leave. You have every right to ask for this information and calling you names “snoop, nosey” is verbally abusive and you should respectfully decline to tolerate it.

Post # 5
Member
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@JemmyGee: Like MrsRugbee, I don’t snoop into my FI’s personal stuff. We have the passwords to each other’s Facebook/e-mail but we don’t ever go onto it. We trust each other, so we don’t have to.

I think you need to fess up to your husband (not that he doesn’t already know because he changed his password) that you snooped on his Facebook and found the conversation with that woman. Explain to him how it made you feel, etc and hear him out.

However, I think you also owe him an apology for invading his privacy.

Post # 6
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@JemmyGee:  Talk to him, be very upfront and try to avoid getting emotional (angry or upset). Until you know the facts, try to remember “innocent until proven guilty”. It may be nothing, but you have a gut feeling that it isn’t and until you find out for sure it is just going to eat at you.

Post # 7
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

He is your husband, you should be communicating your feelings with him.  Let him know that your can’t pin point anything, but the conversation with “Amanda” gives you an ill feeling.  Ask him how he knows her [in a friendly tone, not an accusation tone].  Ask him if he doesn’t mind if you read their conversations.  This all could very well all be a random innocent conversation.  

Oh & by the way, my husband & I trust each other through & through, but I’d be annoyed if he changed my profile pic too.  I can’t say I would change my password [but I’m also clearly not your husband haha], but I’d probably change my own picture back & be like, “Dude, don’t do that, please & thanks.”

Post # 8
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would just outright ask him.

He obviously knows that you were on his Facebook given the profile picture change, so just say: “Why did you change your password?” I’m not advocating snooping on your DH or anything- just giving advice based on what’s already happening. If you’re really and truly concerned about this woman, just ask him what the deal is with her. “I felt uncomfortable reading your conversations, and you were Liking everything on her page, who is she?” (Again, just giving advice based on the fact that you’ve already snooped.)

Post # 9
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sablemuse:  +1

 

@JemmyGee:  i would ask him why he felt the need to change his password.  is there something he is hiding?  i would ask him about this girl.  explain to him what “woman’s intuition” is.  most importantly, watch his response.

Post # 10
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

You sort of peed on your territory by changing the profile picture without asking him.  ” I was here and this is mine!” And then he changed his password because clearly he isn’t want you changing his profile picture without asking.

i think you’re blowing this out of proportion based on finding nothing in the conversations, but I think you should ask him about it. 

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Holy mother of red flags, Batman!

First, amke sure you are nice and calm when you talk to him.

Then, just really casually, “Hey, I hope I didn’t upset you that I changed your picture. I was up super late last night, and it was just bothering me SO much!”

Then you can follow with something about Facebook, leading to who this new person is, where they met, and why they’re being so chummy!

Men get sloppy when they think they’re ahead of you, and you might get some real answers if he’s feeling comfortable.

Post # 13
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

So, the conversation you read is just a regular conversation? I don’t see that as a problem. I do think it’s a bit weird that he liked all of her photos, but it doesn’t mean he’s up to something bad.

I think you snooping on his FB is worse than him liking her photos.

I, as other pps have said, have my SO’s passwords and he has mine. I’ve never snooped on his FB or anything though. I think that shows a sign of insecurity and trust issues.

You should talk to him and let him know how you feel about this woman. After you clear the air, don’t snoop

Post # 14
Member
4867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well, what did the messages say? It seems like if he was cheating or flirting you would’ve mentioned what the messages said…were they just friendly and you still have an uneasy feeling or what?

Post # 15
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

[Post moderated for snark/personal attack]

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