- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I’ve been visiting weddingbee for a while now looking at posts and pictures to gather wedding ideas. Now, I finally joined.
I read a post earlier this morning that really struck a chord with me: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/i-feel-like-a-snob#axzz2eUVehyLn
We sort of have somewhat similar issues.
The problem is that pretty much 90% of my maternal side of the family is pretty snobby, with the exception of my mother, sister and myself. It’s always been like this growing up and unfortunately, they don’t care if something they say or do makes you feel bad because they don’t ever think they say or do anything wrong or insulting or offensive.
For example, they are the type of people who will not compliment you (that’s how you know you look nice) and find something (anything) wrong with what you’re wearing especially if it’s not brand name. They’re quick to bring you down if you have good news (they will bring up something negative from your past or say something negative about your future just to dampen your mood). They like to brag about anything new and expensive they have and will honestly just invite you over under other pretenses but really, just to show something off or brag about a trip or something. They just care about who has what and that they’re the ones who have it. All of my cousins’ weddings have been trying to top each other. Thankfully, my mother raised my sister and I differently.
I could care less about all those things or topping someone else’s wedding but, I can’t not invite an entire side of my family that I see regularly. They will probably shun me and like it or not, they’re still family and they’re the only family I really grew up and spent time with. I’m really only inviting just a few people from my paternal side as I am not very close to them and have not even seen or spoken to the majority of them in years but, will be inviting a few specific ones so that my father has some family members there for him as well. So, if I don’t invite my maternal side, I won’t really have any family there. It’s very sad that they’re this way and that my FI’s family is more like family to me than my own but, that’s the way it is.
I just know that no matter what, my family will have their comments and stares about my wedding and dress and everything else. They will criticize everything from invitations to my choice of registry to centerpieces and food. Even worse, I have a large family so there will probably be about 60 people from my maternal side alone and that’s counting on some people not being able to make it. I know you can’t please everyone and I have no intentions of pleasing them in that way but, how do you not let so many people like that emotionally affect you on the day of your wedding with all their comments and criticisms.
So, my question is: How do you deal with family like that on your wedding day and the time leading up to it?
Here’s some more background info:
- Eloping is not an option. I’ve thought of it but, it’s important to my FI that all his family be there. He is the eldest grandson on both sides of his family and one of his grandfather’s health has been declining quickly. We were actually planning on getting married 2 years from now when I’d be closer to finishing grad school but, because of his grandfather’s health, we’d like to get married next year and hope that he will be able make it. His entire family is very nice and I’d love to have them there with us as well. In fact, we hope his other grandfather (who is a clergyman) will marry us.
Thank you so much for reading my post. Advice is greatly appreciated