- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
So, I’m going for my first attempt at dress not-quite-shopping-because-we’re-not-buying-yet in a couple of weeks, and I was super excited. It started off as just being my mum and I,but family members have been slowly being tacked on, and now it’s a trip with my mum, my aunt and two of my cousins. I’m a little worried about it turning into a bit of a three-ring circus, especially knowing what my family are like when they’re out and about…
That said, I’m totally fine with them all coming, and it should be really good fun, but my worry was this: I’m neurotic. And my family don’t seem to quite understand that. For example – my mother doesn’t understand why I don’t like the word fiance, and she couldn’t get why I was anxious when J and I first got plighted (synonym for engaged, which I like far better and am making an effort to use instead. Plighted. It’s a thing). So I was worried that I’d get there and just get really stressed and anxious about trying on a Big White Dress and prancing around in front of people and feeling… awkward and not right about the whole thing. And that I wouldn’t get a chance to stand and absorb – this is me, in a wedding dress.
So, today at lunchtime on a whim I ran into Monsoon (of all places!) and grabbed something from the Bridal section to try on. I’m so glad I did it. I was so flustered and awkward about the whole thing, it took a lot of guts to force myself to go in. I’d tried Debenhams first, but all their wedding stuff is hidden in a private bit and you’ve got to actually… go in and interact with people. Talk to them. Make eye contact. I was there in my work clothes and trainers, a scruffy cardigan, and all gross because apparently it’s only my work that doesn’t have the heating on.
Monsoon. Safe bet. High street shop, sell party clothes as well as wedding dresses. And I tried on a dress. Had my moment to absorb, felt less threatened by the tiny middle-aged shop assistant who was lovely, than I would have done by someone styled and neat from a boutique. It was… really nice. And now, having flashed my ugly bra to the whole changing rooms (thanks, stiff zipper), I’m certain I can cope with anything.
I’ve learned several things from this trip:
– Whilst I knew it academically, it’s true – dresses look totally different on the hangar, and even on you from the website.
– The quality of the dress was surprisingly high – I’d written of Monsoon as a serious option because I’d found their evening dresses to have dropped in quality whilst I was at University. But this was lovely. And my other worry – that it wouldn’t feel like a wedding dress, just a prom dress in white – was unfounded. And it was only £240!
– Bridal boutiques vs High Street – the atmosphere was friendly, and not intimidating in the High Street store, but the downside is that when you come out of your dressing room to look in the big mirror, anyone and their mum who’s in there can see you. And if you have to shuffle out and get the tiny shop assistant to help you with the zip, and even she can’t quite do it up because your boobs are too big, but it fits perfectly otherwise, everyone will see your bra. I suspect that wouldn’t happen in a bridal boutique. But I think it would be way too intimidating to go to a boutique on your own. I think they thought I was a little… strange and friendless at Monsoon, but at least I was in-and-out, and so were other people.
– I am open to the idea of sleeves/straps now. They were lovely, and I’d just assumed they’d make my arms look fat. Largely because I have fat upper arms. Bingo wings, sexy….
– I was also worried I’d just look… dumpy and not right in a wedding dress. Like an interloper who’d got dressed in the dark and grabbed a wedding dress, but… it looked okay. So, aside from not being able to do the catch up or close the last half a centimetre of zip, because I have breasts, I think I looked alright.
And, for people who are just skimming for pictures, and for people who have stuck with me through all that, some crappy phone pictures:
I’m a princess!