Post # 1
I was going to have a destination wedding in April 2012 in Hawaii for about 40 guests. I found the perfect location blah blah blah and was super duper excited. Then all of a sudden my family started complaining that it would be way to expensive for everyone. I was very disappointed but at the same time I wanted them there so I started looking at other locations in Florida and California. After searching I still wasn’t happy because I wanted something exotic. I was so over the back and forth and trying to make everyone else happy so I said my fiance and I would “elope” and then come back and have a reception for everyone else. They still weren’t happy because they wanted to witness our vows :0
Fast forward to one month ago, I found THE perfect location in Puerto Rico and since it wasn’t in Hawaii (it was going to be cheaper than we anticipated) so we were both very excited and decided we want to book the place for this year November 6th 2011( the day we got engaged last year). So here I am again, excited because I found the perfect location and it would be cheaper for people to fly. Only catch is my sister is having a baby in August so the baby will be 3months old. I’m ready to move forward and now all I’m hearing is “well you know she will have a baby and won’t want to fly with him…maybe you should move the wedding back to April.” Well that changes everything because April is “peak season” and flights and hotels cost more so it will affect my budget as well as guests travel cost. Besides I love November 6th because that is when we got engaged!
So I tell my mother she can come with the baby or her husband can watch the baby. Its only going to be for two maybe three days but I don’t want to change my date. Am I being selfish?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’re being selfish. The bottom line is that with any wedding, some people are going to be able to come and some are not. Destination weddings make that even more true. I have friends who got married on a cruise last year when their son was 3 months old and took him with them. Her parents held the baby during the wedding etc. So it could be done. But everyone is different and she may not want to deal with all of that having a new baby at home. You just really need to descide what is best for you and your FI. There’s no guarentees she’ll be able to come even if you do push it back (babies get sick etc), so keep that in mind as well.
Post # 4
Hell no! It’s your wedding. You don’t have to change your date for anyone.
Post # 5
No, if you try to please everybody you will end up being unhappy. It’s your day! We are having a destination wedding and we understood that this meant that some people (most people) would not be able to make the trip. Choose something you will love and commit to it!
Post # 6
Why don’t you talk to your sister about it and not your mom? Maybe she’s fine with it?
Personally, I’d really want my sister there.
Post # 7
You can’t please everyone. And, assuming the baby is healhty, your sister could probably bring the baby. Puerto Rico IS part of the United States, not some foreign land. I have known several people who flew around that time in their child’s life with the pediatrican’s permission.
Post # 8
FYI if she is planning to breast feed, it’s very tough to leave her baby for that time (and may get the baby onto a bottle – even with breast milk – much sooner than desired). Obviously this isn’t something you need to plan around, I just tell you this so you can be aware and sensitive to some of the issues.
Post # 9
sounds like you are being perfectly reasonable to me. and besides, november 6 is my birthday so keep it there. :p
Post # 10
I can completely relate to you! FI and I were wanting a destination wedding but have been made to feel guilty for making it costly for our guests to go. We sort of looked at places stateside, but none of them have the same appeal to them as having it in some exotic place–a place that we both really enjoyed when we last visited. Anyway, I’m in that tight spot where I want to elope just so I don’t have to “burden” anyone with my wedding. Sucks to have to think that way–that us getting married is a “burden” for other people! Anyway, I was bummed that people weren’t as supportive, but there have been a few who have been telling me that it’s our wedding and we should do what we want. Even many of the Bees in this hive have told me that.
Regardling your situation, you can’t put your life on hold because of someone else’s! If you let your other people’s situation dictate how you plan your life, you’re never going to be able to live your own life because something is always going to come up.
People travel all the time with kids and babies. It’s not unheard of.
Post # 11
Honestly, nothing will work for everyone!! We were considering a destination wedding of which we got the semi guilt trip. So we ended up deciding to have the wedding in NYC where we live, and now people are complaing about parking and driving in the city even though most of the guest are from Jersey. People will always find something to complain about, just do what you want!!!
Post # 12
No, I don’t think you are being selfish at all. You have been more than accommodating. People are always going to find something to complain about.
Do what makes you happy!
Post # 13
Its really hard to get eveyone to agree, but at the end of the day you and Fi need to be happy. So if having your sister there makes you happy you may want to push it back, or if having a reception only close by makes you happy do that. Whats most important is that you and your FI will be married, do it how you want it. Good luck!
Post # 14
Plan your wedding for whenever and however you want. Accept the fact that some people (including your sister) may not be able to attend (this will happen no matter what). Have a big party later for those people. Move on.
Post # 15
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. You’ll never be able to please everyone, and there will probably always be some conflict.
Post # 16
Thanks for all the responses ladies. Just wanted to get some unbiased opinions and I’m glad I am not the only one who thought I wasn’t being unreasonable.
@ DashingBride: they are complaining about parking and driving in the city??!!! Geez people never cease to amaze me. Its like weddings bring out the worse in people lol.