- 6 years ago
I’ll apologize in advance if this is long, but I’d really love some words of wisdom.
My SO and I have been together for 5 and a half years, living together for nearly 4. Though we’ve had some ups and downs throughout, they’ve always been worked through & now we’re in a nice, happy, comfy life together. He’s asked me to send him pictures of engagement rings I like, he’s making comments about our future children, we’ve even discussed getting a dog soon. For the last little while, the only real issue we’ve had is why we aren’t engaged yet. But it’s cool, I’m okay with waiting for now.
Now I get to the issue at hand. I went to go follow him on Twitter last week and came across a conversation he had with some random girl. I guess she replied to one of his tweets, and was going on and on about how funny he was. How much he makes her laugh. Fair enough, he’s a funny guy… one of my favourite qualities of his. No biggie.
But then she suggests that they get drinks the next time she’s in town [she doesn’t live in our city]. His reply? That’s a possibility. He then jokingly asked why she would ever leave her city, it’s so nice there… but then proceeded to ask how often she comes to our city. She said she was just there and plans on coming back regularly. She said this with a smile.
Now, I know I’m more than likely blowing things way out of proportion. I get it. It’s Twitter… whatever, right?
Well. Here’s the thing. I asked my SO about it. Right away, he said he was just being polite and thought it was odd she would suggest that. Then, he said he saw how it could seem bad. But he assured me he had no intentions of actually meeting up with this girl. I told him I actually didn’t mind if he wanted to talk to/follow her, he could even hang out with her if he wanted. All I asked was that she at least know about me, or if they hung out, I’d possibly like to meet her myself.
Despite my saying that, a couple hours later, he sent me a text saying he would just block her. That it’s probably for the best. It was funny, because my first thought actually wasn’t “oh that’s so sweet” when he suggested the blocking… it was more “okay, how come you feel you have to block this woman completely? do you not trust yourself talking to her?” but moving on…I appreciated the gesture, for sure.
So all was well. The day after I asked him about it, I saw he had stopped following her [yes, I admit, I checked].
Then we come to the day before yesterday. I got home from work in the evening, he seemed to be in a mood. It seemed like he was ragging on me for any little thing he could possibly find reason to. Kinda strange.
So yesterday, I felt very uneasy. I did something I’m not proud of. I checked his browser history [we share my laptop].
I saw that not only did he STILL go to her profile right up until the night before… but it even looks like he saved her profile picture to his email. He’s even Googled her a bunch of times.
So, not only has he NOT kept his word and blocked her [at his suggestion, keep in mind], but he’s still checking out her profile and looking at her pictures.
Normally, I wouldn’t give a hoot about someone on Twitter… but this just really isn’t sitting right.
And here’s the kicker. I previously had a client ask me to follow him on Twitter. So I did. The second I found out the guy asked me that in order to get to know me better, I told him I had a serious, live-in boyfriend. We stopped talking completely and I blocked him. Furthermore, I told my SO about the whole thing. I was upfront and honest.
My SO never said a word about this. Could be because it literally meant nothing and he was just being polite… but part of me now also fears that it’s because he was actually planning on eventually meeting her. That would also explain keeping it from me.
Because here is my line of thought right now: if he genuinely was just being polite, had absolutely no intentions of meeting her or anything… why keep checking her profile? He still hasn’t blocked her completely, so she can still tweet at him. And further to that point, why keep looking at her pictures?! I mean, I get it. Guys are visual. I have no issues with porn, but this is just some random chick. Who comes to our city regularly and wants to have drinks with him. If there’s absolutely no interest there at all, why hasn’t he blocked her as he promised?
What. The. Hell.
I don’t know what to do. And again, I know checking his history was a bad move on my part, I understand. Please don’t rip into me for that.