Post # 1
So we had our engagment party this past Saturday. It was awesome and everyone had a great time. The only problem was my cousin. She has been engaged longer than me (2 years longer) and there doesnt seem to be any wedding on the horizon. I invited her to our engagment party but didnt think she would show up. She did..without her fiance and proceeded to get totally drunk out of her mind. She then talked to anyone at the party who would listen and strangers she didnt know about me and the fact that she cant get married yet because of money and blah blah blah. Some of my friends even came up to me and said that she was freaking them out. Besides the fact that she was drunk I found out she said some real hurtful things about me and my wedding to other people and this made me super angry!! She isnt able to come to my wedding because its a destination wedding and she cant afford it so she isnt in the bridal party but even if she could afford it I wouldnt ask her cause we are not close anymore. I ended up getting mad at her at the end of the night and confronting her and she took a cab home finally after both my fiance and I told her she has had enough to drink for the night. I’m so mad now that I dont ever want to talk to her again she has some serious issues. I dont even want to include her in any wedding festivities I’m having because of her behaviour. Am I right to feel this way?
Post # 3
i totally understand and i’m so sorry she tried to rain all over your parade. she has things to deal with and shouldn’t have projected that baggage on you. that was very disrespectful, not only to you but your guests as well. maybe talk to her about it and make it clear that she crossed the line and it is unacceptable.
Post # 4
SHe embarassed herself, not you. I wouldn’t waste any more energy on her!
Post # 5
Sorry she made your engagement party less than steller! However, from her perspective, the engagement party was probably a little awkward for her given her situation. And I know when I’ve felt awkward in social situations I’ve had too much to drink! So she probably just ended up getting out of control and at the time all she could focus on was her wedding (or lack there of) and her insecurities. So while she was totally out of line, I doubt she actually came with the intent to ruin your party. Try to cut her a little bit of slack moving forward.
Post # 6
I think it is totally okay for you to exclude her in this case. The people you invite to wedding festivities are people who love and support you. It sounds to me that she is jealous about your wedding and feels it is okay to disrespect you.
I would call her and try to talk to her, even though I would not invie her to any more events. Personally, I would not be okay with a family member acting this was without finding out where she is coming from.
Post # 7
The thing about feelings is that there is no “right” way to feel. However, there is a right way to behave. Obviously, your cousin missed the mark. In a sort of similar situation, my bachelorette party was last weekend. One of my friends came, then refused to talk to people and sat in the corner with her phone most of the night, then complained about how bored she was. Eventually, she left with some random dude that she picked up. Her behaviour was terrible and I’m angry with her about it. We’ve been drifting apart for some time and I think this put the nail in the coffin. It’s not that I’d never talk to her again, but I certainly wouldn’t seek her out. When it comes time for her to host an event (or have one hosted in her honor), I wouldn’t be as rude as she was, but I just wouldn’t attend.
Post # 8
She was out of line. However – why invite her to an engagement party if you have no intention of inviting her to the wedding?
Post # 9
How does she typically behave around alcohol? Was this a one-time occurrance, or does she usually get “drunk out of her mind” in social situations? You said that you guys aren’t close anymore, and she seems to have issues with her finances. All of these signs might point to a larger issue with substance abuse.
Post # 10
Don’t invite her to any more stuff.
Post # 11
@Ms. Kitty: Some people I swear!!!
@almostmrsj: She was invited to the wedding but cant attend because of the money situation
@LR2012: She is usually nuts when alcohol is involved but this was to the extreme.