So angry with headteacher

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
3410 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am sorry you are dealing with this, it must be horrid.

However, you should not be angry with the head teacher- they are mandated to report these types of concerns, and are doing so with the best interests of your beautiful child.

I would keep a cool head and talk rationally and calmly, both to the school and social services, and most importantly to your child, as it appears she may be being deceptive in part. (re not eating, absence etc.)

Post # 5
Member
3410 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think allegations like this are made to be spiteful.

( I am a Social Worker,so deal with mandated notification all the time.)

I do think that you need to speak with them, but doing so in a defensive and heated manner may add fire, so please, please keep calm. 

If what you say is true (and of course I have no reason to disbelieve you) then you have nothing to worry about.

Post # 6
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Mrsdickinson:  Maybe not spiteful but clueless… She probably has no other comparison than the squeeky clean overly involved posh parents she encounters on a day to day basis. She is also probably used to deal with stay at home mums and was therefore irritated that you didnt pick up the phone immediately. I kind of imagine the other parents to be like Catherine Tate’s posh persona in this clip: http://youtu.be/4usAhEvMKZ4 Tongue Out

Post # 8
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Honestly, it sounds like your standard of hygiene differs from the school’s. And you seem not to be feeding her enough. There is no excuse for your daughter coming to  school dirty, smelly and hungry. 

Post # 9
Member
1973 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t mean this offensively, but the teacher is required to report these sorts of concerns so it’s not her fault. It does sound like your daughter might be lying to the school though, so that sort of sounds like the larger problem here. It sounds like a discussion on the consequences of lying is in order?

Post # 10
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I truly doubt that any headteacher has the time or resources to ring Social Services out of sheer spite. However, teachers in UK schools are required to be very observant so far as safeguarding children are concerned and they will have policies to follow. So if your daughter shows any of the warning signs that the school have been told to watch out for, they have to take action.

If her report is entirely without grounds then you’ll have nothing to fear from Social Services. 

When you say “posh school” I take it you mean an ordinary state primary with a middle class catchment rather than an independent school. 

 

Post # 11
Member
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrsdickinson:    Mom!  For your own sake you need to take these allegations seriously.  I have no doubt you’re a loving, fun and kind mother to your child.  I’m sure you love her completely.  However, these are concerns from authorities that can lead to some severe consequences for you and your daughter if you don’t make some changes.  It’s not worth the risk!

For whatever reasons, someone at the school feels your child is being neglected in these ways by you.  You can nip this in the bud, NOW, quite easily.

She’s only 5, so she does still need your help and guidance.  It’s up to you to teach her self-care skills. 

Consider cutting her hair a little shorter to make it more manageable and easy to care for. 

If she’s playing with the pony before school, make sure she’s cleaned up before sending her out the door. 

Instead of an every-other-day bath make it an every day bath. 

Give her a meal before sending her out the door.  If you’re having IBS problems in the morning, put something out on the table at night she can fix for herself easily in the morning. 

Give her a little inspection to make sure she’s clean and tidy before sending her to school, and most of all make sure she smells clean and fresh. 

You say you were bullied, so don’t subject your child to being taunted by other kids over something as simple and easy to fix as poor hygiene. 

You can raise your standards a little – to help your daughter

Good luck and I wish you all the best!

Post # 14
Member
9231 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrsdickinson:  I have no idea.  But why would someone just make that stuff up?  Do you really think they’re just out to get you?  Perhaps it could be they have your daughter’s best interest at heart. 

This shouldn’t be about you and your feeling so offended by the allegations.  It should be you need to step up and do what’s best for your daughter. 

If none of it’s true, then carry on as always. 

But, please be aware that if you don’t make some changes to satisfy the school’s requirements you’ll surely be facing some consequences in the future with them. 

Put your ego on the back burner and do what’s best for your precious little girl.

Post # 15
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sunfire:  +100

OP, this is serious and needs to be addressed.  I agree with PPs that she/they aren’t singling you out to be mean or out of spite. They’re singling you out because your daughter is coming to school dirty and hungry.  

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors