So annoyed at BM! VENT!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

Gosh, that would be annoying.

I wonder why she didn’t just say that she wouldn’t be able to attend. If she’d just done that you’d probably not be irritated.

I wonder if anything happened to her that day that caused her to do that… Well, even if something did happen, it still would have been better for her to just tell you she wouldn’t be there. 

Post # 3
Member
6 posts
Newbee

WOW! That’s awful. I’m really sorry that your BM is being so inconsiderate and selfish unless she was going through something emotionally. Was she ok? Did something traumatic happen, if not there is absolutely no excuse for that bs! At this point, I would just let it go because you’re already going to have enough to think about since your wedding is in 3 days! Congrats :). Just think positive thoughts and just tell her how you felt afterward. If she doesn’t get it, then I would distance myself from her. 

Post # 5
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sunbeam-bride:  Did you stop to ask her if everything was ok or did you just focus on you and your day? Maybe she is going through something? 

Post # 7
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Sunbeam-bride: Well if it was my friend who was close enough to be included in wedding party I would stop thinking about my wedding for a few minutes and actually straight up ask her if she was OK. She is probably giving you vague answers because she doesn’t to burden you at the moment. That is why YOU need to ask her what is going on and if she is ok because that is what a good friend would do regardless of if it was their wedding or not.

Post # 8
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

OP, you know this girl. Do you think she’s just blowing you off b/c she’s flaky and self-absorbed? If so, that sucks, but I guess it could have been predicted. If not, with your wedding so soon, I might pursue it to a point, but I expect you have other things to think about. Maybe after the wedding you can get to the bottom of it.

Post # 9
Member
2614 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Sunbeam-bride:  It sounds like she has something going on or she’s pissed at you. But tbh, it would have to be something pretty big for her to do this. 

Post # 11
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Unless she is normally like this, it sounds like something happened. Did you ask her afterwards if everything is alright? 

Post # 12
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

phoebephoebo:  I agree, it sounds like there is a bigger issue. Maybe she was having a bad day and wasn’t in the mood, but the way she dodged you all day was still kind of rude. I would check with her to make sure she’s around for the wedding.

Post # 13
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

Omg! I’m sorry to hear that People can be real bummers, especially on special occasions. I hope you spoke to them later on and expressed how they hurt you and hopefully they apologized. If not, I would reconsider how close you consider these people to be in your life and if you can trust them in the future. I’ve had to make decisions like this in my life in the past, and sadly, I don’t have a large social circle anymore. I am forgiving, but I used to lower my standards a little too low. I didn’t have a bridal party and I am really sad about that, but I honestly couldn’t even think of anyone.

A few aquantances offered to throw me an engagment party, and I was so touched. <br />The party was a disaster, (I won’t bore you with the details) the major issue being barely nothing was planned. Hopefully your wedding day was AMAZING and made up for it all ^_^

Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

 

Sunbeam-bride:  I completely understand your frustration, especially since you were paying for the beauty day and her excuses were pretty flakey. She’d feel badly if you paid for her but you were going to be charged anyways, but she didn’t care that you’d be now spending money on nothing?

That’s really crappy of her actually. Perhaps she was dealing with something but it would’ve been nice if she could have been honest with you and told you what that thing was!

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