Post # 1
Apparently my fiance failed to mention to any of his groomsmen that there is this thing called a rehearsal that they are supposed to attend. So none of them were planning on it, and the BEST MAN was even planning on working up until the wedding, then just showing up in his tux. Ummmmm, ya, we are taking our photos before the wedding so he’ll need to be ready at like 3:00. I’m so scared that my FH will be left w/out groomsmen, or w/out a best man…..and it was such a hard time for him even choosing a best man. The first guy he asked, he then had to ask to step down bc he was acting like he was too apprehensive about the ‘responsibilities’ of it, the second friend didn’t want to because, in his own words, ‘I won’t know any of the groomsmen’. So OK. And how this guy seems like he totally might not even be there.
I had told my fiance to handle the guy stuff. I thought it was OK. And how look what happened. I don’t want to be some big B**** and be telling all the guys they have to do this and that, and I have enough to deal with aside from all that. But now it feels like I’m going to have to do cleanup that I don’t even want to do….I really really really want these guys to show up for everything, I can’t imagine how hurt my fiance will be if they don’t. But I don’t want to have to be the one to explain to them what their duties are and this and that and so on. Plus it makes me SO mad to think they didn’t even bother to, oh I don’t know, GOOGLE what they were supposed to do? I mean, come on!
Should I just let my fiance deal with it and let the chips fall where they may? Is cleanup in order? I don’t know what to do or how to ‘coach’ my fiance through this….I’m just so scared he may not have a best man for the THIRD time.
Post # 3
I would talk to your Fiance and help him understand the groomsmens responsibilities. Then he can talk to his groomsmen and give him the information. They probably have no idea what is required of them other than to be there for the wedding, especially if they have never been in a wedding before, so if you give them some dates and times they need to keep in mind it would probably be very helpful. You can also email out a day-of itinerary and copy all the Groomsmen and Bridesmaid or Best Man on it so everyone knows what is going on.
Post # 4
You definitely need to talk with your fiance about the situation. I’m lucky because my FI’s groomsmen are all childhood friends and Future Mother-In-Law has agreed to rangle them on the day of. I was really worried about the potential of a lack of effort on the GMs parts, but have pleasantly surprised to date. But only time will tell…
Post # 5
I sent my FH a list of ‘best man’ and ‘groomsmen’ duties, but idk if he’ll be able to forward them to all his groomsmen. It’s so frustrating because we don’t even have the email addresses of some of them, and one in particular doesn’t even respond to calls or texts. It was like pulling teeth to get their addresses to send their invitations to. I wish he could just ‘demote’ some of these guys, I honestly didn’t really want him to ask the one who doesn’t respond to calls/texts at all, but he felt obligated because he’s one of ‘the guys’ that they all hang out with, even though he’s more of a friend of a friend than my FH’s ACTUAL friend. But I wasn’t gonna argue, wasn’t my choice.
Post # 6
Ok your wedding is coming quick, congrats on that, but ya screw them thinking your a b**** and get those guys in shape, get there numbers and e-mails and just send a mass text saying… you must plan bach party, provide a few ideas, and that they must show up for rehersal at this date and time, and they must be ready by x time on wedding day. As far as other duties i’m not really sure what else there is but they are secondary and not important.
Sorry just read your last post, and honestly my theory is if they show up in a tux the day of and understand they have to smile when they walk down the aisle than we’re golden!! (we’ve had a lot of changes and issues with my Fiance brothers.. there so annoying so i feel your pain)
Post # 7
Well the ‘duties’ I sent were basically “get fitted for tux, plan bachelor party, attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, show up BEFORE ceremony starts’. I swear these guys thought they would just stroll into the wedding in jeans 10 seconds before the ceremony started or something. The last one just got fitted for his tux yesterday after we had to keep calling him and harassing him. It’s sort of hilarious that they were ALL so clueless but also a little irritating.
Post # 8
I got all the Groomsmen e-mails and sent them timeline: they’re guys. They need instruction or nothing will get done.
I think you have given them the benefit of the doubt so it’s now time to whip them into shape..rather it’s by going through your fi (just email/give them the duties/timeline) and have him had it over or by doing it yourself. Which ever one you prefer.
I would be soo freaking out! And, I totally understand that it is kind of funny that none of them that any idea…but hey, ..they’re guys…lol