"So are you losing weight for your wedding??!"

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was never asked that, but if I had been I would have been pretty peeved.

Post # 4
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@cls9q:  Asking you if you are planning to lose weight (at any point in your life) is rude and does not necessitate a response, but if you have to respond, use any of the following strategies, they work like a charm Wink. If a person acroaches you again with this obviously tackless question, and asks you this to your face… start laughing! Laugh at them, pat them on the shoulder, and then walk away. If you really want to be a little sassy and cannot walk away without saying something, say this: “that’s such a cute question”, laugh a little then walk away. If they have half a brain, they’ll quickly realize the error in what they did.

Post # 5
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@cls9q:  My mom asked me something to the effect of “Don’t you want to look good for the wedding?,” insinuating that I need to lose weight to look good. I promptly knocked her down about 923 pegs.

Post # 6
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I get asked that all the time! I empathize! I hate how the wedding industry is like. ALL BRIDES WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. 

Okay- to be fair, I’d like to lose 10 pounds. BUT THIS IS THE TEN POUNDS I’VE WANTED TO LOSE FOR 6 years… SOOO not really sure it’s really about the wedding here LOL

Post # 7
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I was actually in the process of losing weight when I got engaged and only had about 10-15 more pounds to go. People at work then came up to me saying ‘oh you’re engaged, so that’s why you’ve  been losing weight.’ Umm no, I had already lost like 35 pounds when he asked me, thanks very much. One girl on my facebook who was getting married (she is a bit plump, not that large) constantly had people commenting on her check ins at restaurants etc. to watch what she eats as she has a dress to fit into. I would have flipped my lid at them.

Post # 10
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yep same losing 5-10 pounds would have been awesome BUT I certainly don’t NEED to lose any weight! The only person that asked was FFIL (so far but if anyone asks 12 days out I will bitch slap someone haha) and he is a 4x so I was kind of like …are you really asking me that? FMIL promptley reamed him out for me hahaa 

Post # 10
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

cls9q:  No one asked me anything rude but a lady I know said, “Congratulations! Better late than never!” Um, excuse me? I was 25 when we got engaged. I guess that means that I must have already been an old maid?

Post # 11
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MY FMIL did say “I thought you were dieting” at dinner cause I’d mentioned wanting to get a bit more toned for the wedding. I can tell my mom is thinking I should lose weight or feeling bad for me that I’m a size 14 bride and not a size 10 but I know by now that’s because of her own body image issues which she’s had since I was born so that’s not about me anyway. As for other rude things, my FMIL actually told us to send thank you cards after my shower as if I would consider not doing that. But again, those are her own control issues lol It helps to remember that what people say reflects them and not you like 99% of the time. But still, it’s totally rude and I completely agree with you that people need to get a filter!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  Songstress_7.
Post # 12
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

I’m not engaged, but the second time I met my partners step-mum (they live interstate), she commented on the fact that I’d lost weight (which I had, intentionally – around 3 kgs, and I’m the equivalent of a US 4 so it was noticeable to someone who had only seen me once before). We discussed what I’d changed in my diet for a little while (generally trying for more protein, less processed foods), and moved on. I also mentioned I wasn’t particularly strict, and didn’t want to think about it too much as I was on holidays.. <br /><br />For the rest of the trip, she commented almost every time I ate something that didn’t quite line up with my ‘diet’ (are you sure you want toast? wouldn’t a boiled egg be better, given you’re trying to lose weight?). I’m sure she meant it in a helpful way, but for someone I’d only met once before, I was baffled!

Post # 13
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

cls9q:  No one has said anything like that to me yet, but I do have this to say: I have never never once thought about losing weight for my wedding. Like, the thought has never crossed my mind, even when my brother’s wife casually mentioned gettong in shape for her wedding. My body is what it is, and I don’t understand the point if extreme dieting/working out if it is not a practical regimen that you can keep up forever. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by  .
Post # 14
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

“That’s an interesting assumption.” is what they say to a rude boor on EtiquetteHell, so I vote for that. 

Post # 15
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I live a very intense lifestyle, between med school and then work, along with just trying to keep my house clean since FI works full time, so I generally tend to keep weight off because of how vigorous my life is. Between eating healthy and staying super active, I think if I lost any weight I’d be in the unhealthy range. (Then all my classmates would be harassing me if they knew lol) Although, it’s always something that’s expected and one of my teachers actually asked if I was planning on losing weight. (In retrospect, probably out of concern since I recently lost weight as it is and I’m looking sickly lol)

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