So-called friend suddenly decides to not attend wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

As you said – she was a friend of convenience (what does that even mean?) so it doesn’t sound like you guys were very close.  It sounds like you were just trying to make it work just to make it work.

I understand you’re hurt but she was hurt too.  Maybe she just decided to let this friendship slide and you probably should too. Not all friendships last forever.  Just tell her you understand and move on.

Post # 5
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

So this friend is the one you were hanging out with on a regular basis, but just because all your real friends are back home. I don’t think I blame her for not wanting to come to your wedding or really be friends with you.

It sounds like she put a lot more effort into the friendship with you. She even helped you with your invitations and your bachelorette when she wasn’t even a bridesmaid. Tell her you are sorry she can’t be there and move on. It sounds like it would be best for both of you.

Post # 7
34 posts
  • Wedding: January 2010

I think it’s unfair and overly dramatic to write someone off as your friend because she changed her mind about being able to attend your wedding. and you need to be a little more truthful to yourself about your honest feelings towards her. Calling her “judgmental and negative” then saying you “genuinely liked hanging out with her” is confusing.

It seems like she valued you and your friendship more than you did her. Kinda awkward but it happens.

Post # 8
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bridezuki:  I’d take it at face value: she can’t attend your wedding, and it makes no difference to the friendship either way. Being unable to attend a wedding needn’t spell the end of a friendship.

I would text back something like, “Sorry you can’t make it, and thanks for letting me know”. i.e. don’t sound bitter, but also don’t promise to get together after the wedding.

Maybe the friendship will die, maybe it won’t. But don’t let the wedding RSVP determine it. (I will say though that she was totally out of line telling you she expected to be a bridesmaid).

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