SO comparing himself to my ex…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@eecuadrado:  i think that you just need to remember that your so loves you for who you are whether you are 130, 150 or 200.  you are who you are and he accepts that.  i know that it may be hard to feel “sexy” when you look in the mirror but in reality, “sexuality” comes from the inside.

Post # 4
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@eecuadrado:  Sometimes guys are not tactful when they are really concerned.  He may notice the weight has an affect on your libito, so he feels at fault. 

Is there a reason for your weight gain?  medical?  I think you need to work on yourself as much as possible to get into shape.  He desires you at your shape, but you need to get back to being comfortable with yourself.

I’m a “no sex till marriage” sort of Christian, and I believe its’ a great way to have strong, involved relationship that goes beyond the initial carnal pleasures.  I can’t say “get skinny and have great sex” as I don’t believe that is the healthiest thing.  Now, you believe something completely different so what I can impart to you is that it you need to be healthy in mind, body and soul to give yourself to another person.  If you are not doing your part there is no love in the world that your SO can offer you that will help the matter.

Post # 5
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

You have to learn to feel sexy for him! This isn’t an issue about your weight or he would have brought that up instead. He needs more intimacy and he just made it clear. You cant realistically expect him to wait for you to feel better about your weight before that happens. Have sex with the guy, he obviously finds you sexy and is hurt by the thought of you having more sex with someone else than with him. 

 

Post # 9
Member
9253 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eecuadrado:  You can’t let a little extra weight get in the way of your love life!  It’s not worth it.  Ok, you’re losing weight and you want to lose weight, that’s fine.  But don’t make your man suffer for what you’re going through.  He is important and his needs are, too.  He loves you! 

Work with what you have right now.  Get some sexy lingerie to cover up, turn the lights off, light a couple of candles and go for it.  Anyone can be sexy and beautiful at any weight.  It’s a state of mind!  Don’t do this to him, or yourself, for that matter.

Post # 10
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@eecuadrado:  sometimes bc guys just love us and expect people to change over time through life they don’t get it at all

 

you will need to work on feeling sexy you are a women and you are gonna have to find your sexy at 200 150 130 and if you work to lose wight at 180 167 what ever size you are you are beauitful to him 

 

i struggled with wight alot i rmemeber at one point i put on wight so ppl wouldnt find me attractive I was attacked and wanted ppl away from me i learned something intresting then …. when i was 153 ppl wanted me when i was `167 my fav wight ever ppl wanted me …. when i was 180 ppl wanted me 195 ppl stll wanted me 210 lol ppl still wanted me 

 

i learned that yes there are shallow men in the world but there are just as many ppl who will adore you no matter how big or small you are …I also learned the only person who didnt like the wight gain was me 

 

you have to find yourself *the confidant sexy part* no matter what that silly lil anumber tells you you should feel 

 

go get some clothes some underewear a corset what ever that makes u feels pretty makes you feel sexy work form there clothes help when you dont feel it inside yet 

Take a dance class those are so fun and can mak yo ufeel a lil more sexy for sure i always feel sexy when i dance 

 

remember you are beautiful to that man so you might not feel it but ur sexy and he wants you or he wouldn’t even say something about it he  feels like he not turning you on and that guy did he feels like it s a him thing mean while its a you thing … you both should just enjoy making each other feel good 

Post # 11
Member
9253 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eecuadrado:  Besides, think of all those extra calories you’ll be burning!  😉  Sex is a great workout, trust me. 

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Sunfire:  +1, but I really do understand how the OP feels. I used to be itty bitty and I was so confident. Now that I am not, it is very hard to resolve that in your mind, to continue to work hard at losing weight, and to act sexy and engage in sex when you don’t feel it inside.

It’s a struggle for me too, OP. You just have to keep at it and focus on getting healthy.

Post # 15
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@eecuadrado:  I am too and it bloody sucks. It is SO easy to gain weight and yet so hard to lose. It seems to take forever for results to actually show and it feels like you are working hard for nothing. Sex is such a state of mind for women and it is not easy. Sex is the last thing you feel like doing when you feel fat and yucky.

Hang in there 🙁 You are not alone!

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