So conflicted about TTC!!!

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I did. Then I remembered I’m inherently risk adverse, and I’d never be truly ready. We set an arbitrary date to go off birth control and I had about 5 months to get all of the wine in that I could (I say that jokingly, but seriously, enjoy wine nights now).

 

We will take a low key TTC approach. We want a baby, but our lives are so awesome now it is hard to imagine how they’ll be in the future. If we get a few extra months of wine, but get to have stress free sex and no pressure, it is fine by us.

Post # 3
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

CanadianBride456:  How old are you? Have you completed everything you thought you wanted to before children?

Post # 4
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - EDD Aug '15

CanadianBride456:  I was exactly as you are a year ago. I felt about 60% ready, I would have super ridiculous strong urges for a few days, then a few days of ‘I like sleep, I like going out spontaneously, kids are so noisy, will I ever be ready?’. But a year later and with us planning to ttc in January (hopefully!) I feel more like 90% ready. So I think you’re getting there!! Give it a bit more time and live life? I’m going on a solo trip abroad and going skydiving next month to tick off the last of my bucket list!

Post # 5
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

I don’t think anyone has ever truly been 100% ready. You’re always going to have those thoughts in the back of your head.

Post # 6
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I agree with many of the PP’s. You may never feel 100% ready, because it is hard to imagine what your life will be like once you are pregnant and once you are a mom. You could spend forever going back and forth in your head. What I would suggest doing, like PP’s said, is to make a short bucket list (as in, not a bucket list for life, but a bucket list for before pregnancy: some traveling, riskier activities like sky diving, even small trips or a couple fun nights out with your friends). Give yourself a season, or a year if you are more comfortable, and try to knock off everything you wanted to do before TTC. It will help you feel more ready, like you’re not rushing in too soon.

But remember – having a kid does not mean you won’t be able to live life any more! Especially if you join social circles with other new parents. Do some research on local groups if you don’t have any friends TTC or currently with children. If you can’t find anything – start a group! I’m sure there are tons of new mommies /daddies looking for someone to go to the park with, or to the library reading hour, etc.

Post # 7
Member
1445 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

*disclaimer* so OBVIOUSLY a dog is not a baby, in any way. But I kind of think of the time commitment, not being able to go out spontaneously, responsible for another life, etc to be similar.

My DH and I wanted a dog for a while but could never bring ourselves to actually make the commitment and go get one. We knew it was work, it would affect our travel plans, and be expensive, so we just never made the jump. Well a friend knew we wanted one, and when he saw a box of puppies at the cowboy supply store he got one for us as a wedding gift. We saw her sweet face and of course fell in love, but were so nervous. We even made sure we set a “trial period” of a month, and if it wasn’t working out by then we would find her a new home before we got too attached. (Yeah, I roll my eyes cause how could we not fall in love on day one!?) once she was a part of our family we couldn’t imagine going back! She just sort of fit into our lives, and yeah there’s adjustments, but you make it work and it becomes the new normal. And we still get to do things spontaneously, our lives didn’t end like we imagined. 🙂 I assume a baby is the same way. It will be different, but you will still be YOU. if you are ready and it’s just fear or worry holding you back then go for it. yes it will be scary but once it happens, you have no choice but to adjust and keep moving foreward!

Post # 8
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I totally get it. I can even want a baby and not want a baby at the exact same time. We are already starting to ttc and each month I hope for a positive test one day and a negative the next! 

It’s just such a big thing and I’m normally really good at knowing what I want and not changing my mind and I still struggle with this. It really does change your life more than most decisions and you have to be ready to move on to that next phase. I was always baby crazy before trying but I think when it gets real, it feels scary for most. 

Post # 9
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Definitely nerve wrecking to say the least. Even though we are TTC I still get nervous like bubbycakes! Just taking it one day at a time and one cycle at a time! 

Post # 10
Member
2212 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Haha I’m 9 weeks pregnant after TTC for 2 years and I STILL wonder if I am ready 🙂 I am hoping once the bub is here it’ll feel more real and less “oh my god what are we doing???” haha

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