So Confused…How to address invitations

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 5
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Don’t forget : husband and wife but wife kept her surname! I ran into the problem!

Post # 7
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@purple_orchid:  Maybe “…and Family” after the parents’ names. If you would prefer to be more formal, you can list them out but use only first initials rather than names. For John and Jane with different last names with their kids Joe and Jim, it would look like:

Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Jones

Mr. J. Smith and Mr. J. Smith

Post # 8
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

Just one envelope is fine, as long as you have a write-in line on the invitation. Or a belly-band that you can write names on. Or some way, other than the discarded outer envelope, where you have indicated who is invited.  Because every guest is entitled to be addressed by name, even little Miss Who who is only just two; and children’s names should, for safety’s sake, never be exposed on the outside of envelopes  that may end up propped up in the common “oversize mail” section of a community mailbox, to be memorized by the neighbourhood paedophile.  If necessary, you hand-write a note on the invitation or slip a note in with the invitation, stating that the children are invited.

If you have taken care of that, the rest is easy — especially if you lived in the English-speaking world outside the USA.* Since you do live in the States, however:

Engaged couple (not cohabiting)

  • Ms. Jane Brown (sent to her home address)

  • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band: Ms. Brown

  • Mr. John Black (sent to his home address)

    • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band: Mr. Black

  • Married couple

    • Mr. John Black and Ms. Jane Brown, (if she has kept her own name)

      • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band: Mr. Black and Ms. Brown

    • Mr. John Black and Ms. Jane Black, (if she has kept her given name but taken John’s surname)

      • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band: Mr. Black and Ms. Brown

    • Mr. and Mrs. John Black, (if she has taken her husband’s name in the traditional manner)

      • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band: Mr. and Mrs. Brown

    Engaged couple (cohabiting)

    • Mr. John Black and Ms. Jane Brown, (note this is identical to a married couple. That is because it is prurient to speculate about whether are not they are married. If they live like a married couple you treat them that way.)

    Un-Engaged couple (cohabiting)

    • Mr. John Black and Ms. Jane Brown, (ditto.)

    Unmarried couple with kids

    • Mr. John Black and Ms. Jane Brown, (children to be named on the inside ONLY.)

      • inside write-in line, inner envelope or belly-band:
        Mr. Black and Ms. Brown
        Miss Black, Master Black, Miss Brown, Miss Susan

    Single mother with kids

    • Ms. Jane Brown, (children to be named on the inside ONLY.)

     

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    9903 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @purple_orchid:  I went less formal than is ‘proper’.

    Mine were addressed

    Married Couple same name: Jane and John Smith (I put the name of the friend first and spouse second – John wouldn’t be invited without Jane…)

    ALL couples with different names: John Smith and Jane Doe – sent to the home of the person being invited – in this case I know John & Jane is the partner who would not otherwise be invited…

    Married couple with kids: John, Jane and jimmy Smith

    Married couple with kids and different names: Jane, John and Jimmy – I didn’t use last names, too much space

     

    it might not be ‘proper’ but it’s what I did…

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee

    I like the Knot’s answer to the married couple w/ same last name: “Mr. John and Mrs. Samantha Holt”

    Some people will tell you that you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO address such a couple as “Mr and Mrs. John Holt” and that’s just not true. It’s a choice, and it’s one that a lot of hosts today do not make, since there are a lot of women today that don’t care for this form of address.

    You can also do a less formal invitation without the titles: “John and Samantha Holt”

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors