(Closed) So depressed about wedding.. PLEASE HELP :'(

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh jeez… it sounds like your FI’s parents are using their money to control you and it’s working – you’re feeling terrible and guilty about everything and wanting to change things around.

I don’t think your idea about the wedding is a bad one.  It will reduce the cost (or maybe cost the same?) and your FI’s dad gets what he wants and so do you.  But, it’s essentially a bunch of weddings and won’t your FI’s dad still want the ceremony at the same day as the reception? 

I think you just need to sit down and talk with Fiance and FI’s dad and tell them what your ideas are.

As for the house, I would be super annoyed that someone bought me a house right next door to them, without asking me my opinion, especially since I have to make the payments on it! Now, if they paid for it for you and you didn’t have to pay for it, I would say that you should just be greatful. 

I don’t think it’s unfair for you to be supporting the both of you financially.  You’re married and it’s not like he’s being dependant on you because he’s lazy – it’s because he’s still in school and you just finished first.  If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn’t you expect him to support you while you finished school?  Why should it be different? 

Post # 5
10711 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

So, you have to make payments on a house that is not in your name, that was purchased before you got married and includes his parents on e title, which might except it from community property depending on what state you’re in? What happens if things don’t go according to plan? How are you protected? 

Im sorry, but it seems like the wedding is secondary here. I’d focus more on you and your Fiance talking through these financial decisions together. Yes, it’s very nice that they want to help, but you can see what they are getting out if it –Control.

Stop feeling guilty, because you did not ask for these things So you have nothing to feel bad about.  start taking charge of the bigger issue, which is you having a say in things. Sorry to be harsh, but you sound so sweet, and I’m afraid you’re not going to stand up for yourself because you’re getting sidetracked by guilt and the wedding itself. You deserve to be involved especially if you are expected to pay the mortgage!! I’m so sorry you are going through this. 

Post # 6
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d be upset with my Fiance if he put his name on a mortage shortly before our wedding without consulting me first — and that is regardless of who will be the main breadwinner. Where you are going to live is a discussion and decision that you both make, not his parents. 


As a PP said, if FI’s parents were paying for the house completely, I would be grateful for a free place to live. Since they’re not, it is a completely different issue.

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