- 5 years ago
This is my first post on wedding bee, but after a year of lurking on the boards, I have a need to vent!
Last week my boyfriend and I went on a vacation to the Mayan Riviera. We had been planning this trip since the beginning of the year, and leading up to the trip I was 100% sure that he was going to propose. All of the signs were there (in my head!). In the last few months he had been talking about wedding plans, and moving in together. A couple months before the trip he started asking me about my preference in rings, and what ring size I wear. I have always said that I thought the perfect opportunity for a proposal was on vacation, and he has always agreed. This was our first real vacation in the 2+ years we have been together, and the only one we will be able to take for at least a year. What’s more, in January he told me that he was planning to propose before the end of the year, and it’s getting pretty darn close. All of my friends, coworkers and family thought that he was going to propose on the trip, and shared that thought with me before I left. I had never been more sure of anything, than the belief that he was going to propose on our vacation.
Needless to say, he didn’t propose. Near the end of the trip I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, and I brought it up, resulting in a huge fight which ruined the last day of our holiday. To make things worse, our conversation made it clear that he has no plans to propose anytime soon, and he says he doesn’t think he will be able to honor our agreement to get engaged before the end of the year because of financial constraints. If he knew he could no longer propose this year, why didn’t he tell me that earlier? He must have known that I thought he was going to propose on this trip, so why didn’t he warn me that it couldn’t happen? Was he just trying to avoid a fight, or could he really be that dense?!
Now that we are back home, I feel so intensely disappointed. I find myself avoiding my boyfriend’s calls and making excuses not to see him. I love him and I don’t want to ruin our relationship, but I am so frustrated that I don’t even want to be around him. I have even been avoiding my friends because seeing their expectant looks at my ring finger, and having to fill them in on how we didn’t get engaged in Mexico makes me feel even worse. I had (foolishly) told my parents that we would be engaged by the end of the year, so telling them that we are no longer on that time line was hard enough. To add to it all, one of my closest friends got engaged during the week that I was away! And she doesn’t even want to get married!
If you have gone through a situation like this, where you were so sure your boyfriend was going to propose, only to find out you were totally off base, how did you get over your disappointment? I worry that if and when he finally does propose, I won’t even be excited because I “used up” all of my excitement when I thought we would get engaged on our vacation. Has anyone experienced this, or were you still excited when the day finally came?