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I woke up to find the news that Maine repealed the law that would have allowed same-sex couples to get married. I am just devasted. For a society that cares so much about equality and freedom, we really do have a funny way of showing of it. What makes me feel better is that I just KNOW someday people will look back on this time and find it unbelievable that we treated gay/lesbian people like seond-class citizens. I can't wait for that day to come, and hopefully I can do something that helps it come a little faster.
*I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, and people have very strong opinions on this issue, but this is mine. Remember... no personal attacks or snarkiness please. :)
I second your opinion, sistah, I think it's outrageous that we can call ourselves a country where all are equal and then deny this right to a huge portion of our population. Keep on with the good fight!
I totally agree, and I think about the whole looking back in time and not believing how people were treated thing pretty often. It will seem just as ridiculous as when women couldn't vote, or there were separate schools for black people. I just don't get how everyone can't see that NOW.
Wow, I hadn't heard that. I guess I just dont understand why people want to get in the way of other people's happiness. It just seems silly.
I second (third?) that opinion/surprise. I was actually quite surprised that a state that's not terribly religious could vote that way.
I'm just glad my very proud-to-be-queer sister live in NH where gay marriage becomes legal Jan. 1!
that breaks my heart. as did california. after prop 8 was passed in california, my friend reminded me of a quote from MLK Jr.: "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice." here's to continuing along that bend, and faster!
I'm from Maine - and I'm literally heartbroken this morning. The same groups that funded Prop (H)8 in CA poured money into this state, and used the same lies and fear mongering to further their goals. I am sad, and embarrassed for my state.
I think it's important to remember that as women, WE are also a minority group. Less than 90 years ago WE could not vote. On a personal note, I am very proud that I did not use the vote that was hard won for me in order to oppress others - but I am so sad that so many other women did.
When my parents were born, whites and non-whites could not marry - I hope that by the time I have children, justice will have taken leaps again, and we'll look back at this time as an unbelievable, dark moment in history.
I am heartbroken for my many gay and lesbian friends and family members - that they are unable to enjo the same civil liberties I am entitled to. We will continue the fight though, until EVERYONE has euqal protection under the law!!!!!!!!
epic failure! I am so sad this morning... i, like so many, thought Maine would be a turning point for same-sex marriage across the county. Maybe this is a wake up call for all of us who support equal rights, and same-sex marriage...
if you are sad, or angry, or heartbroken today for yourself, friends, family, the country in general... next time... do something about it. Volunteer, donate, talk to your friends & family about it AND vote! Don't let hate mongers win!
A lot of politicians making very unpopular and very unequal (unethical to me) choices for their constituents will have to live with these decisions. Perhaps now it's good to tow the party line, but the choices we make here live with us forever, and their legacy will always be that they've chosen to deny equal rights to their fellow man.
I am optimistic that in time, people will begin to think for themselves and ignore the fear mongering and vote with their hearts and minds. WWJD? Rights for all.
I hadnt heard that! That whole thing makes me disgusted, how people could be so closed minded...Ugh. just ugh. Gabrielle above said it best, everyone should have equal rights regardless of whom they love. Who are we to tell someone whom they can and cannot love? Disgusting
I was saddened by the news this morning. It is such an enormous step in the wrong direction.
"You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am free." - Clarence Darrow (Author, Lawyer)
I read your headline and thought you went there on a trip and didn't like it, until I read your post.. haha.. O man i was going to say are you crazy it's beautiful there, but that's not what you were posting.. haha
Really, really, really dissapointed. I don't know why people don't understand that this is a discrimination issue, and I can't wait until it's 50 years from now, there are equal rights all around, and we can look back on these propositions and laws as the huge mistake that they are.
I was checking the news for an update when I woke up this morning and was so disappointed with what I found. It just isn't right. But hopefully someday in the not-so-distant future, it will be made right.
This said it all for me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrEbJBFWIPk
Plain talking and right to the point...
Can someone explain to me why marriages are a state-controlled thing anyway? If people want to define marriage as how it only exists in the Bible, then the states have absolutely no right to be in charge of actual marriage because of the separations of church and state. The state should be granting cilvil uinions to everyone gay or not (that are equal, law and rights wise, to "marriage"), but if people want a "marriage" in that definition, only the Church should be able to grant permission for that. The whole thing really gets me in a tizzy...
I just saw the news. I am so, so sorry. My only consolation is knowing that this WILL change and that it WILL be looked back on the same way we now look back on illegal inter-racial marriages.
I'm with you JoesWifey, I'd much prefer it if the government only handed out civil unions. Churches can call their unions whatever they like but it all needs to be kept SEPARATE from the government.
My heart goes out to all who are affected. I really thought it was going to pass. I am so sorry.
Ugh! I just boke the news to FI who is from Maine. We are so dissapointed. With MA and NH allowing it, I think it will come up again soon and pass!
@Joe"sWifey - Exactly. But we really don't have true separation of church and state! The state has no business denying anyone the right to marry.
I heard on the way to work this morning. I wasn't surprised, but I was sad. :( We'll get there. And in the meantime, I think more states really need to consider their systems where a simple majority of voters can take away people's civil rights.
With so much hate in the world! Why don't we let two people love each other in the sanctity of marriage. Love is love no matter who its between! I was really disappointed when gay marrige was voted down in CA. The worst part was all of these high school kids protesting gay marrige outside of the school I live near. I was like where did you learn how to hate like that? What do you know about life?
There are certain social issues where I can understand why there is a grey area and room for debate, but this is just not one of them. I have never heard a single good argument in favor of banning same-sex marriage. No one has ever successfully explained to me the other side of this debate. I just don't know what or who is being protected by banning gay marriage. All proposed policies seem to have a purpose, whether or not I agree with them. But what is the actual purpose of banning gay marriage?
This is heart breaking. We will have to continue on and work to make equal protection under the law a reality. Hopefully soon. Very soon.
I agree with everyone on this board. So disappointing :( I guess being from Massachusetts, I sort of expect other states to follow suit. Not that our state is necessarily a shining example of awesomeness, but it's been 5 years since marriage equality passed and things have been fine here since...happy married people of all kinds...
When looking for churches in Connecticut, I emailed about 8 of them and guess I never specified or used language to indicate my fiance is male. All of the churches said yes, it would be no problem for our pastor to marry us at their church, except one that sent me an 8 paragraph response explaining why my marriage would not be legal. The last line was "unless of course, your fiance is a man." Now I am straight -but reading all that hurt, a lot. I cannot imagine what it would've been like to by part of a same-sex couple and have to read that. Devastating. It made me squidy in the way it makes me squidgy to think about how not too long ago my fiance and I could not have married. Eh.
@JoesWifey: I agree with you re: civil unions for EVERYONE at the state level. I think it might solve a lot of issues. Then churches could decide who to "marry", and members could decide whether they want to go along with their church's decision.
Civil unions just don't sit perfectly with me for some reason. It doesn't get around the whole "separate but equal isn't equal" argument. If straight people can get married then gay people should be able to as well, not just be "unioned." So while I agree that would probably be the easiest way to get it passed so that people who are religious can't use the sanctity of marriage argument, it's just not the same when you don't call it a marriage, IMO. Maybe I'm hoping for too much too soon? Don't get me wrong, it would be HUGE if civil unions were allowed for everyone everywhere, but I don't think there should be a separate name for it.
Oh yes, I agree gay people should be able to get "married" but you're never going to convince all churches to go along with it. A solution would be to tease out the language, separate the term "marriage" from the legality of forming a "union" etc. That way everyone regardless of orientation could be legally "unioned" and then choose whether or not to be "married" in a religious ceremony - thus equality at the state level, leaving congregants to decide whether they agree with their church's stance on the issue. But as everyone here has said, it's probably not possible to do that any time soon. Sad.
Completely heartbreaking. I really thought that Maine would do the right thing on this one. So so sad.
I am totally in agreement with Joeswifey and allisonc on this. I have never understood why this should have ANYTHING to do with the states and laws. A civil marriage (ie: non religious one) should be equal for any partnership (although, now you start bringing in discrimination against polygamous groups, but that's a whole 'nother discussion), gay or straight.
Now to want a religious marriage, that in my opinion should be left up to the churches. While I agree that gay and straight couples should have the same legal rights and acknowledgements, I don't agree that churches should be forced to perform marriages that they don't recognize as "right."
I didn't mean that churches should have to marry gay couples if they don't want to! I don't think that would ever happen. I just think that the state's legal term for a civil union should still be marriage because that's what it is, regardless of whether it takes place in churches or not. Marriage does not equal religious.
And right now it's good that marriage is a state issue because if it were put a national ballot, it definitely would not pass (it was shot down in 31 states so far). Also, if it got to the Supreme Court through a case, with the way the justices are aligned right now, there's a good chance they would rule that homosexuals are not a suspect class like minority races and women (because right now they aren't and we have a bunch of people on the bench who will just follow precedent whether it's wrong or right). This would mean that there only has to be a rational basis not to allow homosexuals to marry and almost anything passes this test.
Unfortunately, I think this is going to be a slow process, but hopefully things will change. :)
This is so crappy. It makes me so sad. Someday, this will be looked back upon with disgust and wonder as a contry is marginalizing a huge group of people and denying them civil rights based on their sexuality. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that there are so many narrow minded people who think that their beliefs and morals should be forced on other people. How does allowing gay people to get married negatively affect anything or anyone? I'm so sick of having other people's morals shoved down my throat! Wake up people!
I was very disappointed as well.
Did you know that the divorce rate in MA is the lowest in the country and has dropped since gay marriage has been allowed there? Link:
I believe that such statistics show that by accepting and tolerating stable, committed love relationships (regardless of whether it is same sex or opposite sex) you create a more stable society overall.
Washington State, however, does look poised to pass Referendum 71 which is the "Everything but marriage" bill. This is seen by some as a stepping stone to passing gay marriage in Washington State. They are waiting on the actual marriage part until public sentiment is firmly on the side of marriage.
Ugh, this makes me sad.
Agreed that civil unions seem too "separate but equal" ish.
I hadn't heard yet how Maine voted, I'm sick so I've been sleeping all morning. Thanks, Boston Bee for posting. Too bad they decided the way they did.
I don't have anything new to say, but just wanted to add my moniker to a thread that thinks banning gay marriage is a sad, and discriminatory measure.
I mean, if Britney Spears can be married for 72 hours in Vegas, why can't two guys who have been together for 30 years share benefits?
If it's all about the cost of adding people to the benefit plan (total BS argument, but stay with me here), then why don't we regulate that you must be married for 3 years before sharing benefits? We all know a handful of people who've gotten married for the military benefits, etc.
I'm ranting here. Plain and simple: Everyone should be allowed to marry a person of their choosing.
Agreed ... will never understand why some people think it's their business to decide who others marry ... if people don't believe in gay marriage, that's their right, no one is forcing them into a homosexual marriage - but why would you deny happiness to complete strangers?!
I just wanted to chime in to say I think it's dangerous to call people "liars" "fear mongers" and "hate mongers" for disagreeing with your opinion about this topic (or trying to pursuade others to agree with them).
I'm not saying you shouldn't be disappointed about the ruling, and I know this can be a really passionate issue, but be careful about attacking the people that hold the view point and not just the viewpoint itself
I was so sad to hear this too. It'll always be completely baffling to me why people are adamant about denying marriage equality.
We're donating some of our weddind budget to a few organizations that are workign for marriage rights -- I suggest any of you do the same and someday we'll see change in this issue :)
@ Latte - Some anti-gay-marriage coalitions in Maine actually did spread the word that if gay marriage was not banned, gay marriage would somehow be taught in schools. Frankly, I am not even sure what that means, but it was a falsity that was spread in an attempt to defeat gay marriage. Several voters were quoted as saying that they voted to ban gay marriage because of this rumor.
This made the news in the UK here this morning, and I was so sad to hear about it. It is such a retrograde move,
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