(Closed) So Disappointed :( (LONG Sorry)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ugh that sucks so bad! I’m sorry you’re going through this! I hope my words offer some comfort. They don’t seem to be very good friends if they’re blowing you off like this. I had an ex best friend who used to complain about EVERYTHING in her life, every minute detail and when I started to even start to sound like I’m say something negative she’d say “you don’t understand how bad *I* have it, it’s not even close to what you go through.”

I’m going through something similar with my family. No one has talked about anything wedding related. The only thing my MOH has done, like you, just bought the dress. The other two haven’t even bought their dresses (they say they don’t have money.) My FI and I are pretty much planning and paying for this thing ourselves. Needless to say it’s going to be VERY small lol. My pastor told us that it’s a case of jealousy on my family’s part because there are so many issues. Maybe it’s the same for you too?

Sending lots of hugs your way!! If you need to talk, don’t hesitate to PM me 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry you’re surrounded by all of this negativity. Weddings do seem to really bring out the worst/craziest in people.

Post # 6
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You still could 😀 Never too late. I wish I did initially too, but I already bought half my dress… it’d be such a shame not to use it <3  But hey, hindsight is always 20/20. Try just cuddling up with your FI and rent “Coming to America” it’ll make you laugh 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I too am sorry you are going through this. Weddings def show you peoples true colors. I SO wish I hadn’t had so many BM’s too. One is MIA and I am FINE with that!

Post # 8
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am going through a lot of the same things you are… ie with your dad and my MOH who is supposed to be planning my bachelorette party in 2 weeks and has not gotten anything done for it. She is currently at Bonnaroo so I know nothing will get done until next week at least. It is just annoying that you depend on these people and then nothing comes of it.

After all this wedding stuff, I can honestly say I wish we would have eloped… but it is way too late in the game for that!

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m sorry things are so rough for you right now. What I’m about to say will not be popular, but I’m probably around your mom’s age so maybe my advice comes from a lot of experience in dealing with people. Your dad sounds a lot like my children’s father. He makes promises he doesn’t keep then denies he’s made promises. My kids never know if he’ll actually do what he says and my daughter has especially learned not to count on him. Your mom must be having a hard time now too. Girlfriends. MOHs bridesmaids etc often can’t be counted on either.

 

My unpopular advice? The focus on weddings is, or should be, the marriage that’s occurring, not the festivities around it. If paying for all of it presents a hardship, don’t do it. Save the money for important things as you start your life with your husband. Find a cozy destination you can afford, go away and get married. Spend your energy on your new spouse. IF you really feel you’ll somehow be cheated by not having the whole deal, have it when you can afford it in the form of an anniversary party. I think it’s such a waste of time, emotion and money to plan an event that causes so much stress and financial hardship. There are many smaller alternatives. None of the hoopla is a predictor of happiness. Many people have gotten married at city hall and gone on to live long happy lives togehter.

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