Post # 1
I have 3 BMs, we have been friends for longer than 15 years and I consider them to be like my sisters. Right after i got engaged, i asked them to be my BMs…with a really nice card…they were all excited and we started making plans.
One of my BMs relocated abroad for work, but we agreed that she would be here in September and planning continued. Problem now is: she is not returning my calls, i called, texted, sent her FB messages. She either doesnt respond or says she’s busy with work and that she will call me back, but then she doesnt.
Now i heard from one of the other BMs that she is not coming for the wedding. Is it too much to expect that she just lets me know personally. I also heard that she hasnt bought her dress 🙁
I would kinda understand if she just told me she couldnt come because work is hectic, but i guess I’m soo dissapointed because we have been friends for so long and she just ignores me. Im trying to stay cool about this, but i really feel hurt 🙁
Thanx for “listening” hive
Post # 3
Yes, that is frustrating. I can understand if she were to back out because of the difficulties associated with helping and planning from abroad, but not letting you know what’s going on is rude. I might address this issue with her directly. Rather than just leaving messages to call you back, or specific messgaes about her dress, or some other detail, I would write her an email and ask what is going on. Tell her that you understand if she doesn’t have the time to be a BM anymore, but that you really need to know soon. I would let her know that you had heard she might not make the wedding, and that you need to know these things. She should at least have the decency to let you know what she’s doing.
Post # 4
@jules28: Thanks so much! I’ve been trying not to make a big deal about it. She is not helping with the planning at all and thats OK with me. I told her the only thing she has to do is buy her dress and “show up” for the wedding.
Post # 5
Have you talked to her about your friendship? She may be having a hard time with you getting married.
Post # 6
Have you asked her how her move has gone, about work, etc, or just talked about your wedding to her?
Sorry, just seemed worth asking!
Post # 7
I am the kind of person who purposefully doesnt talk about her wedding, only because I dont want to sound like im always talking about my wedding. See, why im soo happy with the Hive 🙂
So no, I dont think its because of that. But thanks for your advise ladies. I will try to talk to her and/or send her an email and talk things through with her.
Post # 8
keep in mind that you haven’t heard this from the bridesmaid in question, just from a third party. I know you might be feeling sad right now, but until she tells you herself, I would shrug it off. Maybe whoever told you misunderstood.