Weddingbee boards

My BF has seen me on WB a few times, but I never really thought he looked or paid attention. He sometimes uses my laptop and I know that sometimes it shows up on my homepage, but really didn't think he paid attention. Now, I think not only has he paid attention but he must have come on to WB and at least read some of the posts. OMG...

Tonight SO and my son were playing video games and so I came on because they were distracted. SO walked by and said, "oh, are you on that website with girls whining about not getting what they want from their boyfriend, or it not being big enough." OMG. I. Wanted. To. Die.

I should add that we've had conversations before and he has MAJOR issues with woman who are not happy with their engagement rings, and thinks that a woman should just be happy someone wants to marry them. I think that, in this case, he was referring more to the ring stuff rather than the "waiting to be engaged" stuff.

Trying not to look crazy or like I was in as much shock as I was (and still am!!!), I managed a small smile and said "what do you mean," and then he just changed the topic. I feel so weired out by the whole thing. Mostly, I don't want him to feel pressured and, most importantly, I don't want him to feel like I want some big fancy ring. I don't.

I think later tonight when we're alone I'm just going to tell him that I want to marry him (which I've said before) and that I come on the site for fun and to do my "online gossip," as he calls it. I am also going to be sure to get in that I don't expect any expensive rock from him and slide in that IF he did ever happen to want to propose, there's no way I'd want him to spend over "x" amount.

Still, I can't help but feel a tad embarassed.

Lol... my SO knows about it. When I need to vent, I come here... he says he can tell when I get on here - that hes going to block it from me! haha... I guess he doesn't get that this place helps w/ comiseration when I sometimes need it.

I think most guys probably don't get it, mandalee. I feel like I should say something about it so I don't feel so weird, but then I feel like that would make it MORE weird. Ugh... What do you think?

I believe there is nothing more important in relationships than honesty and openess. I can't stand secrets or those things left unsaid... whether they should be or not, I just can't do it... not w/ him at least. I think you should go ahead and discuss what it is that brought you to this website in the first place - the website cannot be the real issue. If you're here, then you're probably ready for that next step of commitment - the size of an engagement ring is regardless, if thats not something actually important to you. If it happens to be, its okay to talk about price ranges, styles... I think at least. From my perspective, it'll be on my finger for the rest of my life and it has to look good! Not everyone feels the same way - so you shouldn't be afraid to talk to him about how you feel in regards to the ring. We've done ring and diamond shopping together... I picked out my dream ring and it is more on the expensive side so I have to wait for it. But the thing is, we both knew that and were okay with it. We know how we each stand and have talked time and time again about everything...

In my opinion, the days of guys just popping the question are over. I think if you're ready to make that commitment, then you have to have THE conversation - especially to see where you both stand. Have you? If not, somebody has to bring it up... ;)

Manfriend knows I'm on here, and that I'm on here a lot. LOL. He knows about the waiting list and I read him posts and we talk about them. It's pretty funny. Yesterday he blurted out of no where that I will be crossed off by next weekend. I just thought it was funny he said 'crossed off.'

@Mandelee: We have talked about marriage before. We talked about it before we moved in together. I've broached the ring topic before (mostly trying to explain I don't expect him to break the bank to get one) but it hasn't really gone well. He's one of those guys who will just want to go and get it and not really talk about it. BUT... his BFF is a girl, so I've toyed with the idea of showing her what I like because I know he'd for sure ask for her opinion just to be 100% sure. lol... That said, I don't see a proposal coming anytime soon. :(

@Arachna: I totally agree with number one! lol... I don't think my SO looks at it like "oh, she should be greatful I want to marry her," but rather that when someone gives you a gift that it's kind of materialistic and selfish to complain about it ESPECIALLY in the case of it not being big enough. And, I honestly agree with him.

But, then he's just not a very materialistic person. He likes nice things, naturally, but things to him are just that -- things. We've both been through A LOT and received and lost a lot in our lives, so I think we just look at material things differently. I've had the big rock and the unhappy marriage, so the ring really isn't a huge issue for me, personally.

I don't think my SO will really "get it" about the whole WB thing even if I talk to him, so for now I'm just letting sleeping dogs lie. We're not in a position to get engaged now anyway, so really it doesn't matter. It does make me want to forbid him from using my laptop though! LOL

@MelissaBegins: I think you're totally right about it helping me not get anxious with him, and maybe I'll end up explaining that. I laughed out loud at the "smack some sense into him" comment.

OMG thats too funny! I dont really pay attention if BF knows about WB or not, usually if Im on the computer though its because Im bored b/c he is playing video games (25 and STILLLLLLL playing xbox? ugh!) or  at work.

@bananagirl: True, but I have a feeling he's already explored on his own. Just that he had an idea of what some of the topics are about lets me know he did a little reading at the very least.

Oh man, I'd be mortified if my BF busted me!   I think men need to be shielded from how much some (most?) women think about weddings.  They just can't understand.  Similar to women not understanding how men think about sex 8000 times per day.  

That said, he must be suspicious about how I know so much about weddings.  Meh, what are you gonna do?

@Cybele: You can have some kind of talk about the likelihood of marriage whenever you want. You don't have to sit and wait for him to bring it up. I was the one who started the talk with my sweetie before we moved in together. I felt it was really important that we both knew where we stood on the issue of marriage and how living together would change things. So, if you haven't talked about it yet, you might want to casually bring it up if you feel it's a good time. My two cents for what they're worth.

I hope the girl who made the video post reads this. I really have never understood making fun of people for pleasure and truly have to wonder about anyone who would not only take the time to stalk WB for inspiration, but would also make a videos using the content. But, then there are some people who are just mean spirited.

I just officially joined the Bee earlier this past week, but I actually told future Mr. Helstrong about it the same day.  He thinks it's pretty funny, but he can't say too much because he spends hours on car forums talking to people he's never met!  I take that back, one random guy did spend the night at our house once while making a trek across country.  I'm just glad that if he evers laughs or tries to make fun or me I can mention his car forums. It shuts him up!  He is just glad that I have a place to vent and talk about weddings instead of boring him with it ... especially since I'm "waiting" still!