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oh tacos that's great!! i'm glad you guys have put everything out on the table and you've been able to come to some kind of compromise :)
Hey tacos! where is your icon? I think you should photoshop a taco into your new avatar ;)
Good luck and bling bling in the new year!
Tacos that's great about the date! But what do you mean there isn't any kind of compromise about college? Does that mean that he won't propose without you starting college and you won't start college without a wedding ring? I'm guessing that is not what that means :) but I am confused.
Tacos, it'll be here before you know it I'm sure! I think that boys are kind of silly sometimes.
Well, here's the thing about college:
Mr. Tacos also has an autoimmune disorder that, if it flares, would require him to stop working. I can barely support myself without debt on less than 50K. The average cost of a NORMAL home, even in the suburbs, is about $400-$500K. If something should happen to him, I have no way of supporting our family.
Obviously this is a serious concern, and I'm not happy with my level of income or the field I am in. So I understand his desire to see me follow through with college before we take that step.
I am fortunate that I have someone who not only emotionally supports my decision to take this risk, but also will financially support me while I do it. However, my main concern was leaving my job in this market, and the plethora of "what if"s. Specifically, what if he decided he didn't want to be with me?
He doesn't have any sort of history of this behavior, but I have never allowed myself to be in a position where I've depended on someone before.
I think it is great that you two talked and figured out a more managable timeline. I think it's important to recognize you are taking a risk with quitting but reading your post you say that you are unhappy with your current position. Even with this economy the way it is, you have an opportunity to educate yourself and to get a job that will make you happier. Yes something can go wrong and you have people depending on you. BUUUT, you have the opportunity to have a more fulfilling life that you want. You shouldn't worry about depending on him. There may be a time he may need to depend on you and if you truly think you two will get married then that's what relationships are for. Just a thought: would it be possible to go to school part time and work part time? It may take longer and be more of a toll on you but it would decrease the risk ever so slightly. I just hope your proposal isn't conditional. I would look on the bright side that by this time next year, you should be engaged. Yay! It may just require a leap of faith for a few months. Good luck!
Hmm--doesn't he have health insurance at work? if he has an autoimmune disorder and it flares up, he should be able to go on sick leave. I know at my company you take the first week unpaid, then after that it is 40% pay. Which is still a decent amount, plus you keep all your benefits. Some people have taken leave for a solid year or two while they battle cancer, then come back.
Can you go to college part time while working if that'd help you save a little more money without the daunting factor of quitting, then going to school? You could at least crank out some of the basics.
I've zero objections to him wanting you to go to college and wanting to support you. (Ha ha, as if I get to have 'objections' to your relationships! sorry). I still think he's being kind of an ass if he's saying he won't marry you till you go to college. Also I think he's being unreasonably controlling by wanting you to blindly rely on him financially while going to college without providing any guarantees or insurance for you. He wants you to bear all the risk! That's not cool.
Would he be willing to transfer some substantial sum of money for tuition purposes to your bank account before you start college, as a gift?
50K sounds like enough to support a single person fairly comfortably.
Not in this city. I barely made it. My only option would have been having room mates.
Re: health insurance, Mr Tacos has his own business and because of the disease - he is either not eligible for his own insurance or it would be extremely expensive.
I'd be able to go to college part time if I found another job. My job has rotating schedules and they aren't very forgiving of your ambitions. However, finding another job is nearly impossible at my salary... which I need to save enough to quit. I don't feel comfortable with delaying my schooling.
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Basically, Mr. Tacos didn't really think about what he said when he decided to propose in 2011. We had a long, candid conversation and I have been informed...
... HE HAS A DATE PICKED OUT.
This year.
And while he understands my concern about quitting my job to begin college, there really isn't any form of compromise either one of us can have for it. It sucks, but this is life right now.
So, now, my year of waiting has officially started. I don't want him to do it on the holidays, but I'm betting he picked out some date related to our recent trip to the Virgin Islands.
Thanks everyone for your support. :)