- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
So today, I made the decision, no more ill start next weeks, no more tomorrows, today is the day i change my life and get healthy, and regain myself confidence. I had become comfortable with the size i am, because in part i have awonderful SO who would and has loved me at many sizes, he just wants me to be healthy and happy, he has told me numerous times that he loves me not the number on the scale or my jean size….so i decided, i dont want to be stick figure thin, i want to be healthy! As a former college softball player who was forced to retire due to injuries, mainly a hamstring, knee and ankle injury, each significantly lead to my retirement at the ripe old age of 20, now at 24 almost 25, i am depressed with how i look, since my retirement i had entered a deep depression for about 6 months right after i retired, since i had lived and breathed softball everyday since i was 7, i spent all of my free time working towards the game, starting in high school, 2 a day work outs, batting drills, swimming for conditioning in the winter, weight training, cardio 5 nights a week, i was FIT! at 5’4″, and 170lbs i was a machine,, i used to squat 315, and bench 205,i was a brick house! it sounds weight wise like i should have been a porker, but i was solid, and i would like to get close to that again…….after the death of a friend, and the loss of my sister, depression, and physical restrictions while healing from my injuries, lead to alot of weight gain….i think the first year right after due to partying and being a 21 year old college kid, i gained 25lbs, and stalled for awhile, and now before i knew it im a total of 85lbs heavier than my starting weight, which depresses the crap out of me! I gained ALOT of weight in nursing school im talking like 40lbs! which sounds pathetic, but when you are in class 3 days a week for 6-7 hours, and then clinicals 2-3 days a week for 8-12 hours, and then you come home, and your SO has had class and work ALL day as well, knowing you still have a good 6+ hours of homework between class and clinicals, cooking is the last thing you want to do and workouts are the last thing you have time for! nursing school is rough but it was the best decision of mylife! and i do not regret it! but that and working 24 hours a week on nights,no sleep and eating like crap add up fast!
well today, i woke up, and looked in my closet at all my “skinny clothes”, and thought to myself, maybe my athletisism and the rush of the work out is why i havent felt 100% happy for awhile now, and now with the added pressure of a friends wedding in december and my sisters wedding in march, family pictures next may, and hopefully getting engaged somewhere in there, I have a new start, new job, new town closer to home, got intouch with close friends who i had started to detach from due to stress from work and school, all my schooling is paid off! my car is paid off, i have $200 left on my credit cards, why not start fresh with myself!
So i am opening my zumba fitness pack, and will start that today, I am starting a healthy eating plan today (diet sounds depressing and those have never really helped me much anyways), i will be using alli weightloss for help, and going on walks in the morning with my FMIL, my SO is soo wonderful and has agreed for us to eat healthier than we do now which isnt that bad for a 24 and 25 year old, we eat homecooked meals most nights of the week, even though he could eat nothing but cheeseburgers and ice cream and never gain a pound! we are doing it together to be healthy! which is awesome! : )! so i will be popping back in on these boards to share my ups and downs and look forward to hearing your guys stories as well!
starting out: Ending Goal:
weight: 255lbs Weight: 170
jean size: 20-22 depending on brand jean size: 11
dress size: 20 dress size 16 or smaller
note: on the ending jean size, i have MASSIVE calves and quads so pushing that goal any smaller would just be redikulous, i was a catcher for 13 years,and well its had a hand in shaping my boday as a woman, plus yup…. THANKS MOM for the “birthing hips gene”, and my dads family is all built like brick shit houses andi am no different! so i will never be tiny and dainty,i am not physically built for it, the one time in my like i was close to the “ideal weight” based on my height alone, my parents threatened to hospitalize me because they thought i had anorexia or bulemia, because me at 110lbs=ability to count most ribs,and vertebrae, plus i look emaciated at that weight, so i know that is not healthy for me, after i crash dieted my way to that weight, and worked out non stop, it took me a year to get healthy after that and highschool kids are mean, so i went from being the fat girl, to the girl with an eating disorred, to the fat/butch girl again, even though i wasnt fat, i just wasnt a size 2, nor will i ever be, and growing up with nothing but size 2s will give you a complex, so when i went to college met more athletes like me, and girls like me, i became comfortable, not being a size 2 and have always known someone bigger, so i never really took notice till i was where i am today! and now its not that i am ashamed to be bigger, i just dont feel like me, i feel like im stuck in someone elses body! and it makes me crazy, i have a wonderful SO, family and friends who love me no matter what size i am, since i left highschool, i have never been called fat, or ugly, or picked on, so i settled….well today that changes, I want my SO to have a HOT fiance when the time comes! and I want to be healthy!
So here goes! Day 1! i want to reach my goal within a year! it took my 5 years to put it on, i know it wont come off over night, and i want to do this the right way soo it lasts!
so here is the game plan:
zumba fitness 5 days a week, cardio 2x per week, and weight training for toning this time not bulking, 2xweek on cardio days!
POP! (my migraines are increasing and pop dosent help that cause either)
sleeping until an hour before i have to get up for work when i work nights
grabbing a fast food salad or other meal for work during the night to snack on, snacking on chips and junk food at work!
SO ladies! What are your goals, and what has worked for you!