So Expensive!! What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: Would you:
    Keep the Budget of 10,000 even if it means giving up some things. : (65 votes)
    42 %
    Spend up to 20k and have the wedding you really want : (58 votes)
    38 %
    Elope and have a big party for everyone : (11 votes)
    7 %
    Use 10,000 from parents and pay for the rest from our down payment savings : (14 votes)
    9 %
    other: explain : (6 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    I would spend the money on the house. There is absolutely no reason you can’t have a great great wedding on a really tight budget.

    The wedding industry makes me sick. There are lots of threads here about ways to cut costs. Check them out! And don’t fall into the trap of falling in love with a venue/dress/photog BEFORE you know the price, lol. IF possible.

    Post # 4
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @almostwebbee:  I am pretty much in the same boat.  My FI and I are the exact same age as you and your FI, we already own a house, but have been thinking about something bigger.  My parents are offering us about 10k for the wedding and the rest we have to come up with.  I think it is a super generous offer from my parents, but even having a 10k budget is SO hard!!! Where do you live? 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I can only tell you what we did. We spent the money… our money… to have the wedding we wanted. Our mindset is “Do it right, or don’t do it at all.” That is just how we approach life. So when it came to wedding planning, we did it to our own standards, and paid the money that went along with doing things to those standards, because it mattered to us. I will note that “right” also meant that we had to leave our house savings completely untouched. If we had to touch that savings, it wouldn’t be “right” anymore, if that makes any sense.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Where are you from? That seems awfully high.

     

    I’ve planned two weddings. The greatest cost savings came from looking outside the narrow WIC box. The first venye was a community center that was nice looking and had  gorgeous grounds. The second is a masonic building. Both let you pick your own caterer  and provide your own alcohol.  

    If you want to save money, the best thing to do is to ask around, or go to local photogs websites. They will have pics at places that arent at bridal fairs, and as a bonus you will get to  see them decorated too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8592 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    If your parents offered you the money for it, I would just take them up on the offer and use that for the wedding.  Keep your own savings for your house.  My parents paid for over half of our wedding but they wouldn’t have given me the cash for anything else!

    Do you have any options for untraditional venues?  Such as someones big house out in the country?  Or you could do a DW and save some $$.

    Post # 8
    Member
    856 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @almostwebbee: 

    Shopping around & research are KEY! FI and I are having a DW, but are having a large engagement party locally so extended family can still celebrate with us. (We’re expecting about 200 poeple to give you an idea) I looked at about 12 photographers before we settled on one.. She has great prices and was really talented. We’re super happy with her.Thank God for google! thats how we found her!

    As for our venue, we went to I’d say about 7 places.. We got pricing on all of them and went for the more “affordable” times of year. We were told “wedidng season” is from May-October, so we booked our party for January! Just by doing that were saving just over $70 per plate! AND its at the BEST venue we went to! (The venue we chose includes a full 5 course meal and two “late night” sweet tables + a premium open bar)

    The venue we chose has a “winter wedding” special every year to promote business at what I’m guessing are the slower times of the year!

    You just have to do your homework I was realy shocked at the cost of things when we got started too!

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    22135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Welcome to Weddingbee and congratulations on your engagement!

    Some quick and easy ways to save on your wedding day are having a Friday wedding (which you have covered) at an offpeak time of year (late fall, winter, early spring). Obviously, the size of your guest list is a huge factor, too. Do you know how many people you want to invite?

    I’d recommend getting on the same page with your FI in regards to your must-haves and then going from there. There’s always room to scrimp, and you can definitely have a beautiful wedding celebration on pretty much any budget if you’re willing to be creative!

    Post # 10
    Member
    112 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Weddings can be done on any budget, Its all in the planning the DIY-ing, and even sometimes the negotiations! A lot of places will offer discounts or price breaks if you keep guests below or above a certain level, I mean this is all dependant on where you’re located of course.  Yes, Some things will need to be cut out, or compromised in in order to work.

     I suggest keeping an open mind with venues, if you can save a lot of money by choosing a venue that maybe doesn’t exactly meet your beauty standards, you can always dress it up with lights and decorations.  ALWAYS ASK COORDINATORS ABOUT DEALS!! they wont ever advertise these things, you are going to have to ASK. My friend recently got married for 10K. Finding a venue that will allow an outside caterer can sometimes be cheaper. Some venues will even allow you to bring in your own alcohol as long as you pay for the bartender – Which again MAY be cheaper. But also, depends on where you’re located..

    I was in an almost similar situation, I wanted an out door wedding and I wanted it to be beautiful. My SO’s ONLY requirment, and it was a REQUIRMENT, was an open bar. Alcohol had to be free. Well, on our modest budget of 5,000. That was IMPOSSIBLE to do here. An open bar alone would be half our budget, not to mention like you said venue and food. Don’t even think about having a photographer or a DJ, and you can pretty much forget about a dancefloor at all. So, we ended up booking a destination Wedding which surprisingly is going to be UNDER BUDGET!!!

    DW’s don’t work for everyone and I understand that. But now that we’re under budget the house hunting doesn’t seem too scary and owning one doesn’t seem so far in our future.

     

    I wish you luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Our wedding came to about £14k, which I think is just less than 20k dollars (not sure on exchange rate). When we started, I wanted to keep it below £10k, preferably much below. I had similar thoughts that that much money woukd help us out elsewhere. However when we started looking it was clear thatwe wouldn’t be able to get a nice venue for that much and the things we wanted. Even spending that much, most of the wedding was DIY, it probably would have been 3 times as much if it wasn’t.

    I hated almost every day of the wedding planning as I was constantly feeling guilty about how much we were spending. However, in tge end we got the wedding we wanted and I really think it was worth it. I would say spend the 20k and have the wedding you want.

    PS, my mum was also a big factor in me hating wedding planning, but that is a whole different thread!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @almostwebbee:  Here’s my two cents.

    I was married once before. Courthouse wedding, no one there but us. I always regretted it while we were married.

    When I married my now husband, we had a traditional wedding. Originally, we wanted to keep it at 10K but ended up pretty much doubling that. I don’t regret one penny we spent. Our wedding day was the happiest, most fun and joyous day of my life. You will get a house in time. Enjoy your wedding.

    My only “but” is this…only spend the money if you will truly enjoy the day and it’s what you want. If there will be drama, family tension, or stuff you don’t need and want, don’t do it.

    Figure out your guest list and go from there.  Determine what matters to you. If you would be perfectly happy with a backyard barbecue reception, that’s great! But if you really want a certain type wedding and the money is there, do it.

    Your wedding is once in a lifetime. Saving money is important, yes, but getting into a house a little sooner may not be worth giving up such a meaningful, important occasion.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4163 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    The photographer and venue were also two of my “musts,” and we cut costs by:

    -DIY invites
    -DIY flowers (Sam’s Club and grocery store were under $500 for everything)
    -Found a caterer that would allow us to BYOB/sodas- saved a ton that way
    -Small bridal parties (wasn’t intentionally done to cut costs, but it did- fewer people at rehearsal dinner, fewer people to buy gifts for, etc.)
    -Smaller guest list (I invited only one out of thirteen cousins- hadn’t seen some of them in five+ years)

    Post # 14
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    $35k is the avg cost in my area too and having a great venue was important to me.  There was no way FI and I were going to spend that much!  The first few venues I contacted were at least $5k for rental alone.  One art gallery was $10k for rental (no tables and chairs, just a space) and I almost cried.  But, we kept searching.

    One thing I found is that a lot of places were out of our price range for dinner but were much cheaper for lunch/brunch.  So, we’re having a lunch reception at a beautiful venue!  Also, our lunch reception is shorter than a dinner (only 4 hours) so we’re saving on vendor fees.

    No offense, but if you’re in a high cost area like we are, $10k is a really low budget.  Would you be okay having all of those details but a small guest list?  Or, would you be willing to book a venue an hour or more from where you live to be able to afford the details you want?

     

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @almostwebbee:  I don’t think those estimates are off. I am from NJ and the average wedding is 30-40K here. We tried for 25K but overbudgeted (of course, stupid add-ons) and are right at 30K. It’s crazy expensive here. My advice is to haggle like crazy!!!

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