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Oh my gosh that so sucks!!!! (hugs). The economy is screwing everyone right now but it will get better. Be ready for a rough few months, and know that we're here whenever you need to vent!
I'm so sorry! That totally bites! Is he going to try for unemployment? Maybe try finding a job where he can? I hope something turns up!!!
Querida,
I was laid off during our wedding planning too. It was frightening and out of nowhere. But it made us really focus on things that were important to us. Our plan of action:
1. Stop spending - yes just stop. Do not buy anything for the wedding. No new clothes, no movies out. Don't use your credit card.
2. Pool your resources - figure out unemployment benefits and how long they will last in your state.
3. Re-evaluate wedding decisions. STDs - we threw those out the window and created a website which was passed around through word of mouth - no big deal.
4. Keep calm and carry on. You two will be okay. I found another job soon and he will try his best. The most important thing is the getting married part.
Good luck dear!
{{{{{Querida}}}}}
I'm so sorry this happend to you guys. The fact that your FI has never been out of work tells me he'll find a job faster than average even with the bad economy.
Meanwhile, I wholeheartedly agree with teawithmisspaloma, who laid out a terrific plan.
Maybe if you share some specifics about your wedding plans we can help come up with low or no-cost alternatives? That will at least give you some peace of mind about your wedding.
Oh Querida I'm so sorry your FI is going thru this!!! Hugs..major hive hugs here (((((Querida and FI)))))))
Time to not panic. What I did when a job was eliminated a few years back when a cardiac group I worked for split was this..I was told by my aunt (wise) to treat my home office as my office and "go to work" in the morning and my job was to GET a new job and work it AS a job!
That way I got up, got my coffee, went to "work" and all the while tweaked the resume, scoured the internet and made a complete list of all the places my specialty was utilized and made personal phone calls to managers and docs.
Within 3 weeks I had a new job. No time for unemployment. And was back at work within 1 month!
Have him do this since it seems he is used to working.
Now as for wedding planning, no fear and no worries. How about a somewhat intimate wedding or a destination wedding? Some destinations will give you the wedding for free and you can toss in your little requests for a nominal bit. And you're married and go on the honeymoon instantly!
Just know we're here.
This is little consolation, I know ... but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Unfortunately, it definitely seems like the strongest get tested the most ... I know you'll be able to do this - you'll just have to change things around a bit. Major hugs! I would definitely start with checking out unemployment first. Then your FI can start his job search - but at least some income will be there in the meantime.
Oh no how awful!!! Everybody at my workplace is nervous--we got a "reorganization" meeting today. It's a very real, very awful thing in this economy.
A friend of mine is doing what Bellenga did--treating job hunting like a real job. I hope your FI finds a job soon! You may have to reevaluate your actual wedding, but not your marriage! All is well that ends well. I hope you can find a way through all this!
This is going to be okay. He will find a job and you'll get back on track. In the meantime get a budget going. We use mint.com to organize our finances. It is a really great reasource to understand exactly how much we are spending and where.
The best financial advice I ever got was this: It doesn't really matter how you spend your pennies. Sure, you can save a little bit more here or there but you will always feel like you are scrambling. Ultimately it is how you spend your dollars that makes a real difference in your savings. What are the big things you can downsize? Can you move into a less expensive apartment? Find a roomate for the house? Can you get rid of a car, and the attached insurance bills?
I know this isn't much consolation but I never, in my life, heard a bride say "I only wish we had spent MORE money on our wedding!" Figure out what matters the most to you and cut everything else. Is it food and drink? Then cut out flowers. Is it your dress? Then no open bar. You can hold a gorgeous wedding on any budget. Just set it and don't look back!
I'm sorry you are going through this and hope it is only temporary. Good luck.
I am so so sorry, this is such a hard time, and it def puts a strain on the relationship. I would like to encourage you however with something I learned at my bridal shower.
My mom, before I arrived was talking with this one table full of ladies, they had all at one point been attending church and were fairly close. Well they started reminiscing about the beginning of their marriages, and every woman at that table married an unemployed husband. Can you believe it! (the guys weren't lazy, they lost their jobs).. so I just hope this encourages you because they all made it through, they are all still married to the same men, and they all have children and wonderful families, so just try to stay strong.
You guys are great... My "panic" with the wedding is that we have signed a contract with our venue. Min 150 guests and the package we selected was one of the lowest - but still several thousand dollars. it includes the food, drink, cakes, ceremony, DJ etc. All that was left for me was invites, flowers and photog. Well we were friendoring the photog and I'm doing silk flowers - already bought.
SO I'm worried we might end up having to cancel and lose our deposit ( a big chunk) but i don't want to do that just yet - he may find something quickly. I can't move, so we're just having to seriously cut back for now. He has no household bills (relatives) and we can't live together (i have children), so I feel like we've eliminated all that we can... It's just so scary and daunting. Thanks for all the hugs. I needed them. :)
@teawithmisspaloma your plan was great! It was almost exactly what I had written down. THANK YOU so much!
Don't cancel yet. You have a very long time to worry about this. Is there a cancellation fee in your contract?
oh man i'm so sorry to hear that! *hugs* i'm sure he will find employment soon...until then, stay strong, and don't let it strain your relationship, stress can do that sometimes. you sound like such a supportive person, he's luck to have you. things will turn around soon, i'm sure of it. hell, maybe he will land a better job!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I know a lot of people are dealing with this right now. One of my cousins and 3 of my uncles have lost their jobs in the last several months.
Best of luck for your FI to find something soon!
Querida, I'm sending good thoughts and hugs your way! I hope your FI finds something soon, try not to worry too much about the wedding until things settle down. Good luck!!
:( Well hopefully it'll not even become an issue, because he'll find something real soon. Until then, sending good vibes and hugs to you!
I have no further advice to give you, but I wanted to say so sorry you're going through this and I hope your FI finds a job soon!
I'm SO sorry to hear that someone else is going through this too...not surprising with the economy in the state that it's in. I don't know if it's any consoloation, but my FI got laid off last week. Out of the blue. I also could not even talk or process it for a few days.
We're a little over 50 days out from our wedding, and literally the rug was pulled out from under us. The good news? Most of the money needed for the wedding has been saved. What little that remains can be taken care of once his severance package hits.
But still, adjustments have to be made. I was REALLY glad that I hadn't mailed the invites until this week.
FI is treating his time off as no time off, somewhat like Bellenga mentioned doing. He has already filed for unemployment and started actively applying for jobs today. The days before, he worked on his resume. I encouraged him to take a few days to let it all sink in, but he's not the type to sit idly by, if you know what I mean. We're luckier than most, he's a medically discharged Marine, and he collects 100% disability from the government for his sacrifices. That provides us with some padding...and allows him to take his time finding another job.
Just remain positive. Know that we're here for you. Vent when you need to. We'll listen!
Querida,
I'm right there with ya fellow bee. The only advice I can offer you today is stay strong sweetie. Things will get better.
I feel for you!! My FI just got cut, this is his first week without work, and our wedding is in like... 11 days?? We planned our wedding based on savings we already had, so that was not a stress added as it is or you, but just the stress of "what the heck are we gonna do now?" is there, on top of the impending big day coming down the pike here. After the distraction of the wedding, we are going to have a lot of major things to mull over.
Argh... it seems like things happen for a reason. I always try to tell myself things happen for a reason. But it doesn't stop me from crying while at work ;__; Hang in there! You'll pull through, don't cancel yet! Save your pennies and think positive!
You guys are so great!!!
I seriously teared up reading these. I'm trying so hard to be strong for him - which is kinda what I do - I'm always strong - not everyone has seen my story, but I'm an encore and went thru a rough divorce and an even rougher time being married before. My kids and I have come out on top and meeting FI has made it all worthwhile. I finally felt like I was on the right path. I know I still am, but darn these bumps in the road. We're holding off on doing anything right now. FI has already applied for unemployment and is job seaching actively. I know he'll be ok. We have SO MUCH to be thankful for and we truly are thankful that we will be ok, as far as bills go. My parents even offered to do a few wedding related things so that we don't lose them (book a musician / deposit) since our date is pretty popular.
I love WB and I can't thank you enough for your support.
I just want to say that I'm sending postive energy your way. He will find something soon!!!
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I was too shell-shocked yesterday to even post this.
FI got laid off. They completely eliminated his position. I don't even know what to think right now. We are a long way out, but all of our plans hinged on this pretty aggresive savings plan we have. Essentially everything we were saving was coming from FI's $$$. Now I'm paying my bills, his, and we aren't saving... which kinda throws us off for this little wedding thing we wanted to do... UGH. I'm venting, I'm processing, and I'm trying to be strong for him - this man who hasn't NOT worked since he was a kid... Ever feel like the strong people get "tested" more. I wanted to start printing our STDs and Invites next month... Now I don't even want to consider buying paper....