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@JessieK: Try it on to make her feel better when you next see her, but then be honest and say something like "It's not exactly my style, but I really appreciate you remembering that I wanted to try this on. I think it was perfect for _____ (friend's daughter) but I don't think it's the right one for me unfortunately." She just wants to be involved, so validate it and move on.
heheehh ".....but you're a strong girl". sorry but i laughed
maybe "its very sweet but its not what i dreamed about when i married your son but thank you for getting it for me to try"
Thanks guys, I gotta tell ya I've been giggling since I got off the phone with FMIL. I just have this picture in my head of something .. I donno, maybe tie-dyed with fringe or something- but only becuase my mom still sends me care packages of random stuff she buys at garage sales me (I'm 30, she's color blind, but it makes her happy). I'm tickled pink FMIL wants to help, but I can't help but shake my head and smile.
you never know, it could be nice.... but if its not, please be sure to take a pic and share with us :)
I agree with bakerella and eloping - thank you for her kind offer, but say it's not your style and that you want to find something perfect for YOU for your wedding. Your FMIL sounds very sweet, but this is quite a strange offer!
Tell her you already bought another one! "... oh bummer! sorry FMIL - I didn't think you'd pull through" ;-)
Hey you never know, it might be an awesome dress ! eheh Do you think she would be hurt if you tried it on and decided that it wasnt what you wanted ?
I would suggest you go dress shopping right now and get a dress, then you can make up a white lie about just walking in a shop to look at bridesmaids dresses and there was this dress you fell in love with instantly, and you knew you had to have it. an "Oops, found my dress before I had a chance to try yours on" thing. She may buy that.
lol get married in the middle of summer... heavy=hot! that way you can get out of it gracefully.
I would just tell her that you appreciate the offer, you're sure it's a lovely dress, but you are really looking forward to the shopping experience with your mom/girlfriends etc.. if you don't find anything you love, you would love to take a look at her dress.
I actually had to use this on a friend who wanted to sell me her dress (drunkenly after her wedding 6 years ago, I told her I wanted her dress, and I'd buy it from her when I got married-never thought she'd remember, but she did!)
Never underestimate a good seamstress! With a little (okay, lot) of re-imagining, I bet you could make it into something completely unique that you'd love!
I would say thank-you, I'd love to try it on. It's pretty non-committal, and still values her offer. Then, you get to spend time with her, and try it on. If you look disappointed and say "oh no, it doesn't fit, overwhelmes my figure, is too heavy, isn't flattering" I don't think she'd be offended. Plus it gives you more time to find a dress you oveso you can say you already have one. Besides, who knows, you might like it.
Thanks for all the great advice ladies! I think I'm gonna go with the "I just got/found one I LOVE" route- but next time I see her I will make sure to at least try it on- like you guys said, who knows, maybe it will be fabulous, and hey, who doesnt like to try on different dresses, right? :)
I agree with bakerella's advice, be gentle and honest and diplomatic! Her heart is in the right place!
you could always have it altered into a rehearsal dress. At least try it on (we want pics!!!)
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I love my FMIL, I really do. I know her heart is in the right place.
Two years ago FI and I visited his fam for thanksgiving dinner and a friend of his mom mentioned she had her DIL's wedding dress in her attic, and its such a pretty dress, and we are about the same size... I was polite and said it was very sweet of her, I would love to take a look at.
Fast forward. I get a call from my FMIL who says they finally cleaned out the attic and dug out the dress for me, and I'm going to be so beautiful in it on the big day. yay. I've never seen it, but I kinda remember being told it was big, poofy and white. FMIL says its lacy and "really heavy, but you're a strong girl'. I have no problem with wearing a used dress, but nothing about it sounds like my style!
I'm really, really glad that FI and I live states away! Now, all I have to do if figure out a really sweet way of saying 'no' to the dress. FI and I havn't set a date so I have time to think up an exscuse, and thankfully its going to be a few months before we head there to visit. I really love that she cares enough to get me a dress, but I WILL NOT look like some 80's bride!! Any advice on what I should do?