Weddingbee boards

Bees, I want to move so badly. I can't stand our current apartment. The neighbors below us are noisy, we have had our storage locker broken into, and there are barking dogs EVERYWHERE. The ONLY thing keeping us here is the rent. Right now we pay $850/month for a two-bedroom apartment in the suburbs of Vancouver. We are really close to FI work (5 min), but currently far away from mine (close to 50 min on the train). I guess I am just tired of coming home to an apartment that I don't love, surrounded by obnoxious neighbors, after a long commute and day at work. FI acknowledges we need to move, but wants to hold out to buy a place instead of moving to another apartment while we continue to save for our downpayment. I can see his point (moving ain't cheap), but I would prefer to move to another place and keep saving, even if it means we pay a bit more money, because I have had it up to here with this place. We just can't seem to see eye to eye!

I don't think FI really understands how frustrated I am. When his mother came to visit, she even agreed with me that we need to move. Right now I feel I am getting the short end of the stick with the commute. I just feel so frustrated right now.

Ugh!  Sorry you have such a crappy situation right now.  I totally feel your pain, our landlord has become borderline abusive and we've been house hunting since last August so I am really loathe to go sign a lease somewhere else, since we have a rent controlled apartment now, and anything else will cost a couple hundred dollars a month more.

If you're not ready to start hunting, and you're already this miserable, you need to get out of there!

Yes, apartment living does indeed suck. The other day, our neighbors were having a Michael Jackson party or something. They were blasting his music so my FI and I could hear the songs clearly through our walls. And there were people constantly going in and out of their apartment and slamming the door while doing so. Super annoying. This went on from approximately 4pm until midnight. And the bass was unbelievable. Now, normally I would have no problem with people wanting to have a little fun on the weekends and whatnot but this was going on on a weeknight. Do people not work anymore???

If I were you, I'd approach FI by telling him that here's an opportunity to practice the marital art of compromise.  Start with a Socratic question like, "How much do you make in 30 hours  of work?" (the amount of time you spend a month in commuting) Even if he makes minimum wage (in SoCal that's $8/hour), that's $240 a month.  Then share with him the facts (my FI likes facts & LOVES discussions based on logic, not emotion): your extra 90 minutes of commute (which equates to 450 minutes per week, 1800 minutes per month), your lack of productivity/rest due to the neighbors & dogs, the loss of time & money due to the storage break-ins.  If you calculate the hours of productivity/rest lost & give it the same monetary amount as above & add it to the commuting $240, I'd bet you'd get a substantial amount.  Tell your FI that it's worth X a month to YOU to MOVE.  Once your discomfort is quantified, and you've also made it clear that this amount isn't the same amount SAVED by not moving, he should understand that your concerns with your current place are valid & a temporary change would be valuable...to you & to the improved quality of HIS life because you will be better to live with. 

I hope that works for you...a simiar process for me when I wanted to move out of the apartment complex prior to our present one (I had my cell phone ripped right off my jeans pocket...I was NOT a happy camper).  Our compromise was that we waited until our lease was up (another 4 months), but we started looking immediately & moved into our new place 3 days before our lease ended.  I LOVE our place now.

Good Luck!

Thanks for the support bees! I called Mama Valhalla and vented for a good 30 min, so I feel a bit better now. They are still drilling away down there, but I put some relaxing music on my iPod and have the headphones in my ears right now. Part of the problem is the fact that I work nights too. Because noise bylaws are only in effect at night, when the vast majority of people are sleeping, I am SCREWED if I work a night shift and the people below me are doing renos during the day. I have no basis to complain. *Sigh*

@ms. pascua - FI is an engineer, and totally thinks like that. I bet that approach would work really well. Thanks for the tip!

Update: We talked last night, but he still refuses to move at this time. Top reasons being (in no particular order):

1) We could still get noisy neighbors

2) Our rent would go up to approx $1300-1400/ month (from our current rent of $850) for a similar two bedroom apartment closer to the city. He wants to hold out on the rent increase for as long as possible (i.e until after the wedding)

3) It's a bad time to move (which is true) - I am finishing up my nursing degree and need to write my nursing licence exam, find a new job, and then we are getting married. Adding a move in there would be a huge stressor.

But the cons of our current place are:

1) NOISY NEIGHBORS

2) Long commute for me (50 min)

3) Dark apartment (north facing unit, painted blue/grey, landlord won't let us paint)

4) Shoddy appliances (we had to fight FOREVER to get a new fridge, one of the burners on our stove doesn't work, and our bathroom faucet leaked for 2 months before we got it fixed)

5) Social isolation - we live the furthest away from all of our friends. This makes hanging our difficult, becuase it is such an ordeal for us to get into the city. Want to go our dancing? Can't take a cab back because it would cost $50-60 bucks, so I have to take the early train home so I can take the last bus that goes to my house. That means leaving our friends at 12:30 am. And that is if we make it out!

6) No offense to bees who smoke, but our noisy neighbors below also smoke, and while I don't mind in the winter when windows are closed, in the summer they smoke outside beneath our bedroom window. So when it is sweltering hot, I have to make a choice between inhaling second-hand smoke and keeping my window open, or closing my window and boiling in the heat. Hardly seems fair eh?

I still am frustrated, but I guess I'll just suffer through this place until we move later this year. Just a part of life I guess!