So Frustrated with Bridesmaid! (Long Rant)

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

She is being lame, not you.

It’s one thing to be a procrastinator or slacker or whatever she is, but to put everyone else to inconvenience is really bad form.

How close are you to this girl?

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Well it’s really really inconsiderate. I would be so pissed off if I were you. At this point I would probably wait until I had cooled down, and then call her. “Hey Jenny. I’m not sure what’s going on with you, and I hope everything is ok. But as there are six other girls waiting on you, I am going to have to make a decision about the dresses by the end of the day. Either you pay your deposit, or if you need me to, *I* will. Or I just assume you aren’t interested in being a Bridesmaid anymore. I’m bummed, but time is of the essence! Let me know what you want by >>>> o’clock! Hope you’re ok!”

Ugh. What is wrong with people. 

Post # 6
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Evanesca:  You gave her to the 27th. I would be a little pissed if a bride kept contacting me repeatedly about something like this. Leave her be.

If she doesn’t follow through by the 27th order the dresses without her order. You are the customer, just tell the dress shop to order the 6 dresses end of story.

Post # 7
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Is it possible something is going on in her life that is preventing her? Either she really can’t come up wit hte money or really can’t get to the shop? Sorry about this, I know how it feels. I’ve ended up having to purchase most clothing for people as they never did it. :/

Post # 9
Member
3014 posts
Sugar bee

@Evanesca:  1. This doesn’t sound like a close friend so it seems strange that you asked her to stand up for you. 2. If you really want her to be there, put the $50 up for her. It is the holidays- maybe she doesn’t have it. maybe talk to her an confirm she wants to be in the wedding first since it seems like her behavior says otherwise. 

Post # 10
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I had something similar-ish happen with a bridesmaid (my ex-MOH actually) and just like I had feared, it had very little to do with the actual dress. She put off ordering her dress until two MONTHS after the deadline I gave her, luckily I had told the bridal salon to place the other orders without her by then. She wound up not being able to commit to the bridal party and it was a lot of epic stress to deal with these last few months.

I would ask her openly if she just hasn’t had the time to call in or if it’s been stressful with the holidays, etc. If worst comes to wost and she really can’t make it around to calling before the deadline you could always front the deposit for her and have her pay you back. That way you can stress less, because in the end the less stress the better! Don’t let this mole-hill turn into a mountain.

Post # 11
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I don’t get why people on here take the bridesmaids side 90% of the time. It’s so irritating. This bride isn’t asking for a lot. This bridesmaid had plenty of time to save $50 and was notified before the holidays – so that excuse isn’t cutting it. 

My personal opinion is if she doesn’t pay the deposit by the 27th, then she is no longer in the wedding. Sorry, you snooze you lose and it sounds like she doesn’t even care enough about you. Because if she did then she would have payed the $50. 

 

Some bridesmaids suck. 

 

Post # 12
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@FoxyBride14:  I’m a little confused about your comment:

“I don’t get why people on here take the bridesmaids side 90% of the time.”

First of all, I don’t know there is really a “side” here. I thought it was about advice not a boxing match. Everyone has been supportive of the bride, no one has commented that she is being unreasonable at all. Everyone has either said to ditch her or talk to her about it.
I said to maybe talk to her, not because I think what the bridesmaid is doing is right, but because if this happened to me, that is what I would do. I was trying to think of WHY this might be happening and what can be done about it. I thought that would be more helpful than playing bash the bridesmaid. Really, since I don’t know these people I really don’t know the situation. If I don’t ask, I won’t know. So I asked “could this be why this is happening” I’m sorry if you feel I am “taking the bridesmaid side”. That wasn’t my intention. If a bridesmaid came on here and said “I’m a BM in a wedding. The bride told us to have a dress ordered by the27th, it’s only the 23rd and she is freaking out at me that I haven’t gotten it yet!” I would mention how worried she is as a bride due to what the store may have told her, I would tell her my experience with bridesmaid dresses and I would ask her why she was waiting. Not because I’m taking the other person’s “side” but because I think this is how advice works. If OP just said I need to vent, please just listen! I would have said, “Yea, that’s totally not right, you are justified!” Maybe I misread and she did just want support and not advice?

I am not trying to attack you or your opinion personally, I just honestly do not know how we are taking the bridesmaid side. If you show examples, maybe I will understand better. Thanks.

Post # 13
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If she doesn’t pay by the 27th, I would instruct the shop to order the dresses and tell her that you were assuming she was no longer interested in being a BM.

Post # 14
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

I’d tell the shop to place th confirmed orders…like a PP said, I’d call her, leave her a voicemail, and give her until a certain date/time to respond, or she would no longer be a BM.

Post # 15
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

Also, if she drops out, please don’t think you have to have even sides and therefore make your fiance drop one of his groomsmen. I had six on my side and my husband had five, and everything was great.

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