So Fussy…

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Raises hand. I drove myself nuts trying to find “the one” and ultimately ended up getting a ring custom made. I felt like something was wrong with me because ring shopping was supposed to be fun, but I wasn’t having a darn bit of fun with the whole process. I was frustrated with myself, wished I wasn’t a perfectionist, wished my fingers were longer/thinner/more elegant, and on and on. BUT, it was worth it. I love my ring. It suits me well. And all Mr. LK kept saying was that he wanted me to get exactly what I wanted and he was willing to keep looking until we found it. He was so patient with me. <3 that man.

Post # 5
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC

@Splodge2003:  I’m having the same problem right now! I literally change my mind every 10 minutes! When my BF asked for my final style choice recently, it helped me to think about what I might like 10 years from now; my career, family, age, etc. I also thought about other people’s opinions of me (not in a bad way!). I went back through all the times I’ve gone shopping or gotten jewelry with my mom and sisters and imagined what might remind them of me. Obviously, it’s not about what your family likes, but they know you best, right? Their ideas of what screams “you” might be more accurate and clear, especially when you’re constantly plagued by beautiful rings and a huge diversity of style. 

Post # 6
2129 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I got to the point of not caring anymore when we were initially ring shopping. I just wanted to be engaged already and the ring was taking up too much time trying to find something perfect! So, we settled for a lovely (and cheap) solitaire setting. The idea was that we’d either upgrade the setting in the future or I would learn to love it. 

About six months after being engaged I went to a jewelry store. The idea was to look at wedding bands and what do I happen across? The most perfect, beautiful, amazing, ring of my dreams! We didn’t buy it for another two years (I wanted to make sure it was “the one”, because it was pretty pricy), but now I am the owner of the best ring ever, IMHO. Tongue Out Well, almost owner. It should be done being reset today, hopefully!

So, that may be something to consider. Getting an inexpensive setting for now and letting yourself enjoy being engaged until you stumble across something perfect for you!

Post # 7
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Splodge2003:  FH and I were determined to find ‘the one’ and it look a lot of looking but we did.  When i put it on we both agreed it was the ring we’d been searching for and stopped looking.  I didn’t even want to look at other rings.

Post # 9
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

@Splodge2003:  Omg this is me now!!! FI and I have started shopping and researching and I literally keep thinking over and over if I really want this style or that style etc. And then I think of myself wearing the ring many many years from now and if I would still be in love with it. I’m almost at a point where I just don’t even want to bother anymore. I’ve also spent hours and hours after work, during the night, reading on blogs and websites on different cuts and settings. I just keep telling FI that I just want to be able to say I’m Engaged!!! to everyone we know! 🙂 FI just says to me that it’s ok and understands. He tells me that we are not going to stop looking until it’s exactly what I want! With that said, I narrowed my final choice down to 2 settings and know exactly what kind of stone I would like! Gah I’m so picky! You’re not the only one! 🙂 Good luck !!!

Post # 11
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014 - Lizard Island, Australia

@Splodge2003:  I understand. I’m in the process of changing my setting. When I first ordered my ring from Blue Nile I chose the classic comfort fit because I liked the tapering. For some reason on the UK website they still advertise the stock photos showing the tapering but the ring actually no longer comes tapered. I have no idea why because I know they used to do it. So I had that setting but slimmed down to a 2mm. 


Now ow ive found the prongs don’t allow a wedding ring to sit flush so I ordered the petite diamond ring from their American website which they shipped to the UK for me. I liked it because it tapers at the stone. But I asked them also to send me the classic four claw setting to look at. 


When em it all arrived on Monday I was so nervous I felt sick. I just didn’t want to be disappointed. But I was a bit. The petite diamond setting was just too blingy for me and didn’t look right on my finger. So now they’re setting my stone in the classic four claw and it should come next week. I am so nervous. I don’t know why it matters so much it just does. So I understand how you feel I really do!

Post # 12
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

@Splodge2003:  Crossing our fingers, praying to God, lol, in terms of the stone, I am in love with the August Vintage Cushion diamond aka AVC, from a B&m store called Good Old Gold! As for the settings, I would like to have an antique/vintage inspired setting, one of them is by Beverley K and the other is custom made from Good Old Gold as well! The good thing is that the Beverley K line is offered at Good Old Gold! So it’s a win-win! 


Post # 13
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@Splodge2003:We actually did that. We got engaged first and then did the ring shopping. I didn’t need the ring to be engaged; I just needed him to ask me already!

I wanted to elaborate a bit on my experience, just in case it helps. My issue was one of reconciling what I liked on everyone else/what I thought I would want with what actually felt right to me on my own hand. I loved (and still love) pave and halos and vintage touches in rings. I think they are all so very pretty and sparkly. So of course I thought that would be what I went with. I spent ages browsing online vintage jewelry sellers, trying those styles in stores, and they just never felt right. How could I like them for other people but not for myself? It made no sense. And then I took a hard look at my own closet. There wasn’t a darn thing in there that was super sparkly, intricate, or vintage. I wasn’t being true to my own style, and that was my problem. I can look at a girl in skinny jeans and think that she looks great in them, but that doesn’t mean that skinny jeans are great for me (they are, in fact, a horrid idea for me!). Once I had my lightbulb moment and accepted that my style is fairly simple and classic, I totally changed tactics and started looking at solitaires. And they were… well… kinda boring. Another trip to my closet ensued. Yes, I do like simple classics, but I like interesting necklines, subtle patterns, and the occasional pop of color. Okay, so I want more than a solitaire, but less than a halo. Three stone? No, I am NOT a 3 stone girl. Or am I? And back to the stores we go. No store 3 stone worked for me. They were close, but just not perfect. So we went the custom route at that point. I knew I wanted something somewhere in between a 3 stone and a solitaire with at least 6 prongs, and that I wanted my center stone to be a round brilliant. We worked with our jeweler to design the ring, and when it was designed I cried with both joy and relief. Finally, perfection.

Post # 14
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

@Splodge2003:  yep, after I had my wedding band for several months, I suddenly realized one day that I didn’t like it and it was too late to return it!  it took months and months of searching for a new band. I thought I was never going to find one I liked, but I finally did after a very long time and about a million hours of looking. it’s the entire reason I joined weddingbee, so I could get advice. 

I never wear the original band. every time I put it on I still don’t like it. but I can’t bring myself to sell it beause it was the ring I got married with. so now I’m the proud owner of two bands! 

Post # 15
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I definitely went back and forth on what I wanted for over a YEAR, but we didn’t order anything until I was pretty sure of what I wanted. Luckily I love the ring we did order.

Maybe just take a break from looking for a while. I’d just wait the 3 weeks and STOP LOOKING at other rings. The more choices you have, the more overwhelming it is… and that goes with anything in life.

I found that I kept coming back to yellow diamonds, even months later. Once I knew I wanted a yellow diamond, I spent some time looking at different cuts and settings.

3 hours isn’t that bad to drive lol.. I guess it’s different in the UK (that probably seems far away to you). I live in Canada and 3 hour drive isn’t that bad… we measure distance in hours when driving!

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