SO got fired today. And I'm kinda mad at him

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
2372 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

@ForeverBirds:  I understand being kind of upset.. this could really affect you both!  Getting let go is kind of a serious issue and it may come up for future job interviews, etc.  And you’re right, although you both didn’t know about the sick days, its not good to get it that close to your alloted number if you can help it.  He should have wanted a cushion so he didn’t get even close to the too many absences territory.

That being said… if this is the first time something like this happened, continue to be supportive and try not to let your frustration show.  Chances are he’s also kind of embarrassed, and honestly he’s probably been taught his lesson.  Since you mentioned you had talked to him several times about it, and he didn’t change, now he knows better first hand.  Just be supportive to help him find a new job.  As I said, chances are he will not make this same mistake again!

Post # 4
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have known those people who don’t show up to work all the time and it is always hard for me to understand why.  I guess with a night job its a bit easier to see why (I am not good without sleep, ever)

If this was an aquantance, I would likely have an “I told you so” moment, but with your SO, you need to be a bit kinder.  Just make sure he takes making the transition seriously. 

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ForeverBirds:  My FI has had 7 different jobs so I understand how you feel. I would say vent here and TRY to not take it out on him. Trust me, he already feels shitty enough. Try to be as supportive as possible.

Post # 7
Member
11722 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, I’d be pissed too.

I hope he finds a new job quickly!

Post # 8
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hopefully this will be a lesson for him. FI had multiple jobs before landing his current job that pays much more than the others.

It takes time for men to “grow up”, how old is he?

Post # 9
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would be seriously irritated, too! I worked the night shift for a couple of years. I know it’s hard to sleep during the day, but you HAVE to do it. And assuming he was working nights for more than a few months, I’m surprised he didn’t get used to it!

Post # 10
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

🙁 Good luck on him finding a new job soon, OP!  And kudos to you for being understanding and venting here instead of at him.

Post # 11
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@ForeverBirds:  I would definitely be supportive THIS time. But when he gets a new job, if he falls back into the same patterns, I’d bring it up. And if he gets another night shift job, I recommend melatonin and a good eye mask. My SO and I both work nights so I completely understand the trouble sleeping! We tried tons of different window treatments but none were good enough. But I got a good eye mask that blocks out ALL light and take a melatonin pretty early and I rarely have trouble sleeping now.

Post # 13
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ForeverBirds:  Yes 20 is very young. I met FI at 22 and it’s taken me 7 years to get him to where he needs to be LOL.

Hopes he finds a job soon!

Post # 14
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Well.. maybe he should look for a job with normal hours this time. If you turn this into a positive, maybe he’ll be able to find a job that better suits him.

Post # 16
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@ForeverBirds: My ex used to work night shifts for years and he missed every now and then due to fatigue. It’s extremely tough schedule to work nights. Your whole body activities are turned upside down (including hunger) and sleep can be a problem, so I understand your SO. When I do not sleep properly, I’m a mess. I can only imagine what it can be like for someone who has this kind of schedule.

That being said, I understand your frustration, but I think he genuinely didn’t know he was in trouble when he reassured you last week. Especially since you both didn’t know these 2 sick days off could be held against him.

Hopefully, this will be a learning experience for him and he won’t make the same mistake twice. And maybe this will allow him to get a day job or just something better in the end, which he’ll be able to deal with more easily. 

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