- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
I’ll go ahead and give the backstory: So I have an uncle who is a preacher (pastor? not completely sure what the proper name is). I remember after hubby and I got engaged someone mentioned to me that the uncle was getting ordained. …That’s cool, but hopefully it has nothing to do with me getting engaged. The thing is, I am not religious. I absolutely did not want a religious ceremony, no bible, no mention of God, nothing. I knew if I were to have the uncle officiate the wedding that he would make it a full-on Christian ceremony. Around the time we got engaged I had been wondering who we could get to do the ceremony, when one of our friends popped into my head.. I had known the guy since elementary school and Darling Husband been friends with him since high school. I thought he would be perfect! One day we were discussing it when Darling Husband said “I think it would be cool if this guy did the ceremony”. WHAT?! Seriously?! He had been thinking the exact same person as me! So obviously we had to go with that particular friend!
Fast forward to less than 48 hours before the ceremony… Darling Husband was out of town having his bachelor party, I’m at home frantically trying to get all my wedding projects done, plus find time to do all my college finals, stock our entire bar, AND do my nails (which didn’t even get done til like 2 hours before the ceremony lol). I had a total meltdown. I really needed him there to help, I had so much to get figured out, so after some hostile texts from me he called and I completely broke down. I get off the phone with him and go back to my projects, only to get a call from my dad a few minutes later… He says “We have a problem…” My first thought was my sister, who was my 9 month pregnant maid-of-honor. All I could think was that she had gone into labor or something. Nope. He tells me: “Your uncle thinks he’s doing the ceremony.” My heart sank. I wanted to puke. He and my aunt came into town a few days early and were staying with my grandma. (I knew they came into town early, but I didn’t realize why until this happened) My grandma called my dad and said she had heard them talking about the ceremony a lot, but she assumed they were just talking about the wedding itself. But then she heard more and more about it and finally she realized they were talking about what HE was going to do in the ceremony.
Holy crap. Seriously? Is this really happening? I still don’t even understand it. The friend who did our ceremony we had contacted MONTHS ahead of time. We had a ton of communication with him throughout the like 10 months before the wedding about what we wanted, discussing the script we gave him, what to wear, rehearsal times, etc.. How could my uncle go this entire year long engagement with ZERO, ABSOLUTELY NO communication from us thinking he was officiating our ceremony? We got engaged Dec. 2011, and married Dec 2012. The ONLY time in that entire year that I ever saw/spoke to him was Christmas 2011 like 2 days after we were engaged. Word through the family grapevine is that he spent months working on our ceremony and “spent $800 on a suit” to wear. My guess as to what happened is that the rest of my family assumed we were having him do it and all of these assumptions made their way to my aunt and uncle, who assumed it was true. I feel horrible that this happened, but sheesh! How could you plan an entire ceremony without ANY input from the bride and groom? Or without any communication from them whatsoever? Another thing that sucks is: I look like the bad guy in the situation. Just dropping him hours before the wedding after he put so much time and effort into it. Apparently one of my aunts called someone and referred to this as “the big controversy” and “I can’t believe this!”. I am one of the most drama-free people on earth.. I never would have imagined I would have to deal with something like this during my wedding 🙁