(Closed) So hard watching a friend go through this…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am so sorry you have to watch her go through this. I know exactly what its like when you want to help. I would compliment her often and do things for/with her to help her feel good about herself regardless of how he is treating her. Also, while you don’t want to say bad things about HIM in case they do decide to get back together, I think it is completely appropriate to say something about how he is TREATING her. I would constantly remind her that she is a beautiful person and she deserves to be shown love!

Post # 5
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

That’s so hard… I think that if ya’ll are close though you should be able to be real with her about it… if she chooses to stay in denial then that’s on her. I was in a verbally & emotionally abusive relationship and I’m very thankful for the friends that were real with me and didn’t let me stay “victim”… they really helped me & I’m truly grateful that they were willing to put themselves and our relationship on the line to help me see the reality of where I was.

Would she read a book suggested to her?.. I know a really great book that helped me and lots of women be able to see themselves for the worth they really are… it helped me leave my ex-husband who was abusive & it’s helped girls part of our home stop behaviours that were harmful.

It’s called Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge

It’s not a “10 steps to fix your life book” but more of a book that can help her grow within her and just learn how to love herself better.

Hope she can see herself through new eyes soon so that she can put a stop to all of this… either by setting up right boundaries and holding him to them or by being able to leave if he truly doesn’t come around. sigh ((hugs)) for you and yoru friend

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@soon2bS: This is so unfortunate, and makes my blood boil. I have a really hard time in these situations, because I have a hot temper, and always voice my opinion, and in these situations, its not always a good outcome.

If I were you, I would maybe take her to lunch or ask her over for a few drinks, then try to calmly talk to her about it. Ask her what she would say to you in the roles were reversed? Could she watch you do this to yourself and not say anything? I think being calm and non judgmental is the key (something I really have to work on, unfortunately) and maybe you can help her see that she is acting in a ridiculous fashion

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