S.O. has never gotten me jewelry?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

“Fine, I’ll buy you a necklace if that’s what you need to satisfy your girly wish to have a physical reminder of my affection for you”.

Is he serious with that response? I mean if he’s joking then maybe… but that’s a super bitchy thing to say. Especially since he buys you jewelry boxes… that’s just weird.
 

Post # 4
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I wouldnt worry so much about it.  It’s not a big deal, maybe hes not a jewellery guy and uncomfortable with buying a piece he thinks u will hate.  My SO has my taste to a T and buys me jewellery and clothes all the time which I love but refuses to buy me lingerie.  he tried and said he got in such a tizzy not knowing what id like etc.  Does mean anything except he doesnt buy me lingerie.  He buys tons of other great stuff though.  I would just tellh im that you dont really own any jewellery and would like some maybe for xmas.  Tell him ur not fussy and wont return it because u will love whatever he picks for you.

Post # 5
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@chevaldame:  Ok, not to make fun but this totally reminded me of Wayne’s World. “You got me a gun rack? I don’t own *A* gun, much less many guns, which would require a whole rack!”

I think it’s super weird that he gives you jewelry boxes when you don’t even own jewlery. However, I think a lot of dudes don’t buy jewelry. My man hasn’t bought me a single piece of jewelry either. 

Maybe he doesn’t know what you would like? I set up an etsy wishlist so my guy would have good ideas. He’s not so great buying gifts on his own but will totally check my Amazon and etsy lists. 

Post # 6
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I wouldnt worry so much about it.  It’s not a big deal, maybe hes not a jewellery guy and uncomfortable with buying a piece he thinks u will hate.  My SO has my taste to a T and buys me jewellery and clothes all the time which I love but refuses to buy me lingerie.  he tried and said he got in such a tizzy not knowing what id like etc.  Does mean anything except he doesnt buy me lingerie.  He buys tons of other great stuff though.  I would just tellh im that you dont really own any jewellery and would like some maybe for xmas.  Tell him ur not fussy and wont return it because u will love whatever he picks for you.

Post # 8
Member
1190 posts
Bumble bee

@chevaldame:  well……maybe it’s a good thing that he hasn’t bought you jewelry.

Here’s what happened with us: My SO bought me a hideous necklace for our 1 year anniversary that I wore daily for a month, even though I didn’t like it. He somehow figured out I didn’t like it, and his feelings were hurt. He told me to never wear it again, and it turned into a fight. 

Because of that, I have a pinterest board (that he knows about) of jewelry/engagement rings I want so we never, ever, ever have to go through that hell again.

(P.S. I’d be pissed about that snarky comment too. But maybe he needs to be actually SHOWN what jewelry you want exactly so that way he doesn’t have to feel the anxiety over what to get you? It sounds like he’s a bit clueless about what kind of presents to buy you? My SO and I ended up making amazon wish lists for each other to see so we didn’t have to worry about what the other one wanted)

Post # 9
Member
2165 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My husband had never gotten me jewelry before my engagement ring.  Well, I suppose technically he bought me a necklace in Hawaii, but I was with him and it was from one of those silly shops where you got to choose an oyster and find the pearl inside.  But he’s never surprised me with jewelry, and I never really thought much about it….

It is strange that he and his family give you jewelry boxes, but giving jewelry as a sign of love is something that’s been perpetuated by jewelry stores.  It shouldn’t be a measure of how much he loves you, or mean anything if he hasn’t gotten you anything.  Hopefully the gifts he does give you are meaningful in their own way.  

Post # 11
Member
417 posts
Helper bee

@chevaldame:  I would be irratated by his response, but I also know that I need to be careful what I wish for.  My SO bought me a ring for our first Christmas together and I HATED it.  He knew I didn’t like yellow gold but thats what he bought.  I wore it and never let on I didn’t like it but I didn’t!

 

Now, if I want him to buy me jewelry, I either take his money and buy my own or make him come with me and say this is what I want!  LOL   He is completely clueless about jewelry, or at least my tastes in jewelry.

Post # 12
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@chevaldame:  Yes dear, that’s what I need. Here’s a link to a couple of pieces that I would love to receive from you- birthday, Christmas, Valentines Day or just “I’m such a lucky guy to have chevaldame in my life Day.”

Some men just aren’t gift buyers, especially jewelry or lingerie. Rather than be disappointed, it’s just easier to communicate exactly what you want.

Post # 13
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@chevaldame:  I definitely think it’s weird that he’s bought you jewelry holders, but not jewelry. And it’s a little mean to make fun of you for wanting him to buy you jewelry. Sometimes my FI makes fun of me for liking presents like jewelry, but he still gets them for me, because they make me happy, and not doing it isn’t standing up to the system, it’s being a jerk.

One thing that I’ve found is specifics are good. I’ve made my FI a list of things I like, and it’s a document he can easily find and access on his computer without me being able to see that he looked at it (yay dropbox). One thing I want is opal earrings. I feel like it would be hard for him to mess up on that one, and he could figure out where to get them, and pick some that he thinks are my style.

Hopefully your SO finally buys you some jewelry, and when he sees how happy it makes you, he keeps doing it 🙂

Post # 14
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The only jewellery that DH has ever bought me is my engagement ring. We bought our wedding rings together. I don’t wear fancy jewellery so I’m fine with that. We really aren’t gift people anyway. 

Post # 15
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My engagement ring was the first piece of jewellery FI ever bought me. Some people just don’t express themselves that way. I think that’s okay!

Post # 16
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

perhaps try to say it in a cute way? What happened in my case is my SO bought me a pair of gorgeous yellow gold drop earings with a pave of diamonds and natural pearls at the ends, and I love them, but they are much too formal to be worn daily. so for our anniversary (last week) I hinted that I would love anything from him “even an inexpensive silver little necklace to wear daily, and that I would cherish it just because it would be from him and remind me daily of him”. Maybe try approaching it more about the symbolism it has for you, rather than focusing on the actual jewelry?

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