Post # 1
Everyone keeps asking me and the DH this question.
I tell them that there’s not really a difference since we’ve lived together about a year before we got married and have been together for over 8 years.
I now feel bad that I don’t feel different being married.
Anyone feel like this? Or what other things have you heard.
Some one told me that I look different now that I’m married. Yes, I’m no longer stressed because I don’t have to plan a wedding anymore. But I look different? Weird.
Post # 3
I think being married is different. It feels different to me. We have been together a long time, and even lived together while we were engaged, but marriage is different. There is a sense of security, a sense of oneness, that I didn’t feel when we were dating. I’m not sure if I felt that different after one month of being married, so just give it time. Now that we have been married for four months, it does feel much different! Marriage isn’t always easy, but we sure are enjoying the ride!
Post # 4
I never had an “OMG we’re married!!!” moment or anything like that, but I do feel different. I agree with august that there’s a oneness that I didn’t feel before, and I definitley feel giddy (but I’m sure that’s because we haven’t been married long at all).
Post # 5
I’m really annoyed with the “OMG HOW IS BEING MARRIED? ISN’T IT AMAZING? YOU GUYS ARE NEWLYWEDS” followed by gushing and hugs and stuff.
People are really disappointed to hear, “it’s the same as it was before, and just as good”
It just feels the same to me (him too, we actually had this talk last night). We’re totally okay with it….I never really wanted the marriage to feel like this big huge change and I’m grateful that it’s just more of the same, with an added level of security and comfort.
Post # 6
It doesn’t really feel much different to be married since we lived together before and were very committed. Plus we did a lot of plannning before the wedding for our lives in the future and it’s the same thing now, except that now officially everything goes to the other person if something happens.
Post # 8
It pretty much feels the same for us too. About the only difference is feeling more ownership. It’s not a great descriptor but I feel more invested in his house, how money gets spent, etc.
I usually answer the “so how’s married life?” by saying it’s about the same as before – so things are still awesome!
Post # 9
@yrrett- That is funny since you two have been together so long! Maybe next time, when someone asks, you can say something funny like “It’s a relief that I can finally be myself now that I have him locked in.” Or something like that. I’ve made comments like that to people about our engagement, but I have that deadpan sense of humor so people tend to laugh.
Post # 10
Im the same way, when people ask how married life is I usually say “pretty much the same as it was before we got married”. Most people take it to be a bad thing but its totally not – I think its great not a ton has changed between dating and being married. I also say the main difference is sharing money now and having a new last name 🙂
Post # 11
When my aunt asked, I told her that it’s just the same as living together, just more paperwork!
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I didn’t feel different for a while… it took about a year to really sink in. There is definitely a feeling that sinks in that is like really feeling “content”… I’ve always been searching for the next thing, and after the dust settled after the wedding, nothing really felt that different. But after a year or so, I realized that my emotional state of wellbeing was in a much better place than it was before/right when we got married. There is something so comforting about just being certain about your future, at least when it comes to your spouse… I still didn’t quite feel like that when I was engaged or in my first couple months of marriage.
Post # 13
@yrret – we have the same wedding date! and we’ve been dealing with the same question. we were together almost 5 years and lived together for 3 years before getting married, so no, it’s not that different. It feels a little different for me, but it’s nothing huge and nothing I can necessarily articulate. I mean, really, if I wanted it to be different, I probably wouldn’t have married him ; )
Post # 14
I’m so glad there are other people out there that feel the same way.
I guess thinking about it. I can tell people that it’s weird to have a different last name. I went from being veitnamese to being a german! Haha
Plus, referring to my DH as “husband” is still weird.
I can sign my new last name but for some reason, I just can’t seem to write my initials. I keep doing my old initials not my new.
But as for the sense of security- it is nice. Me and DH have talked about the future but it wasn’t really set in stone… but now that we are married, it’s like the future will happen. We can talk about kids and the future because I know we want kids. Before we poked around the surface of kids and things related to having kids but now we can get into the details. We can really pick it apart. It’s like our future won’t have to be a fuzzy dream anymore, instead it’s turning into a clear image.
Post # 15
Nope, no difference. But I get asked ALL the time: “How’s married life?” It’s just well-wishers making conversation-I just smile and say I’m loving it. I mean other than ridding ourselves of the stigma of “living in sin” and putting him on my killer insurance, everything’s the same. Granted, we’ve only been married ~ 8 months, so that may change, like Pengy said. (Not to mention we lived together for almost 4 years when we got married.)
Post # 16
My husband and I ALWAYS get the question: “How’s married life?” (even now that we’ve been married seven months). Sometimes I think they expect a gushy answer like “Great…fabulous….the best time of my life!” but really, it’s been hard and a lot of work (definitely worth it, but still, hard). But by this point we’ve heard it enough that we just laugh and say “It’s different.”