Post # 1
Just out of curoisity as I’ve seen some posts on here about swinger clubs and 3ways (totally not judging ;)) and while I think it’s great if your relationship can handle that, I know there is no way in the world I would ever be able to handle anything like that.
I’m a jealous wife. Completely and utterly. Not to the point where I snoop and I don’t trust my husband, but where it irks me when other women hit on him, makes me sick to my stomach to imagine him with any other female, I’m very territorial when it comes to my husband. I’m completely open and honest with him about this and he’s perfectly fine with it and feels the same way on most of this.
So I would not be able to go into a strip club with my husband, a swingers club or participate in a 3way, I’ll never be comfortable with many things in that sense (and yes, I have my views on porn and strip clubs as well). The way I see it, my husband dedicated his life to me and only me in a physical and emotional way and the thought of any other woman being with,, wanting to be with, or him wanting to be with her drives me mad. I don’t dwell on this though, and I never get mad at him as he respects my feelings and feels the same way so we kind of have our agreement, I don’t know if he looks at other women when I’m not around (and I know many will say he does) but out of respect he does not do this around me and I do not do it around him. We agree to not watch pornography and I trust that he doesn’t.
We have a very strong tusting relationship because we are both 100% honest with our feelings and have been since the beginning. So this works for us. But I have a feeling I’m in the minority here. So… What are your two cents on all of this? Exactly how “jealous” are you?
Oh and hi, I’m a newbie, was a long time lurker but signed up today to respond to a couple posts and now I’m posting 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I don’t consider myself to be a jealous person. I don’t care if he watches porn or goes to strip clubs (we have been to strip clubs together). He has always had female friends, and I am fine with that. I might have felt the subtle twinge of jealousy here and there when we were in a long distance relationship, but now that we live together that hasn’t come up. As long as he is showing me how much he cares for me on a regular basis, all is well.
Post # 4
I don’t mind stripclubs if there is a purpose such as a bachelor party. He would never go on a random Friday. Porn isn’t even a blip on my radar unless its something scary or illegal which would end the relationship. SO has never obviously checked out a woman in front of me so I can’t speak to that but I would find it disrespectful if he did it constantly. It wouldn’t be a jealousy issue. On a scale of 1-10 I probably have jealousy issues at a 2? I am pretty secure with our relationship when it comes to being jealous of anything.
Post # 5
I maybe get jealous 4x a year if even. I don’t care about female friends, strip clubs, porn or my SO looking at women, hell I point out women for him to look at. But that’s not say occasionally out of blue I don’t get an irrational moment. However, those moments are so few and far in between, that it’s just not predictable. Maybe that’s simply how I am with him. If say I was with someone else, who knows, perhaps I’d be a little more territorial. I can’t imagine that though, I wouldn’t be happy being that type of jealous person. It would make me very uncomfortable in a relationship. I defintely couldn’t put with someone like that either.
Post # 6
Haha, that’s great that you two have that kind of relationship. I love the way my relationship is because we both share the views and feelings on this topic but it looks like y’all have the same thing with your husbands 🙂
I just don’t see how you can see your husband looking at another woman (like a strip club) and not want to scratch someones eyes out (of course not literally, I’d never hurt a fly… seriously bugs are safe in our home, I have my husband catch them and release them outside). I get rather flustered when women shake their stuff in front of my husband lol.
But a beautiful thing about this world, we can all have differing views yet still get along 🙂
Post # 7
I don’t mind strip clubs either if it’s a bachelor party. And we have talked about going to a strip club together simply because I’m a very curious person and I also know that he would like that lol.
Porn, I don’t care. Sometimes BF and I will watch porn together actually. So that’s not even an issue to me at all. Now if he was watching porn 24/7, then yeah there would be a major issue.
BF has female friends but most of them, if not all, are in serious relationships or married. Now if they were single, it would depend on how they hung out. If they went out to dinner at night, then I would be upset. But if it was hanging out during the day for just a few hours like for lunch or something, then I would be mostly okay with it. Mostly…I’d be lying if I said there wouldn’t be a slight twinge of jealousy but I would deal with it.
Checking out other women…it would depend on the circumstances. Now if I saw him discreetly doing it, it wouldn’t bother me. Because let’s be honest, if a good-looking man walks by, I might take a look at him. But he would never get a second look. But if a woman walked by and he went “DAYUM! That woman is hot!” Then I’d be like….”Uh…excuse me?!” That kind of thing is so disrespectful. But he never does that, so luckily I don’t have to deal with that happening lol.
But overall, I don’t consider myself to be a jealous person. A big part of that is because I trust my BF and I know that he loves me. He would never do anything to hurt me. Plus he loves me so much and makes me feel so cherished. When you feel that kind of love from another person, you know that he would never even look or contemplate being with anyone else! 🙂
Post # 8
Don’t care about him watching porn or going to a strip club for a bachelor party, I’ve done both myself. The only thing I take issue with is maintaining friendships with people you were once sexually or romantically involved with.
otherwise, no threesomes and we are definitely NOT swinging.
Post # 9
Im not a jealous person at all we both trust one another and respect each other boundaries..he can watch porn go to strip clubs for his buddy’s bachelor’s party no biggie to me. Men are more visual so I cannot control who he looks at but gawking is another thing lol
Post # 10
@bklynbridetobe: It was somewhat difficult in the beginning of our relationship I wont lie, well like months 6-12 of the first year. Only because they were his exs that were causing the trouble. But from the get go it hasn’t been much of an issue with out relationship at all. He was cheated on years ago and so was I and we both got kinda screwed up over it for a while (5 years before we met for him, 7 for me) so in the beginning we discussed the things we felt were disrespectful and we did not like and these were on the list and we both agreed and show eachother respect.
It also helps that I’m a bit strange when it comes to attraction. I can see how people are physically attracted but I’ve never been sexually attracted to anyone who I wasn’t attracted to in a mental sense either so this really comes easy for me to not look at guys or want to go to Chip N Dales (or whatever it’s called). I wonder if my husband has a hard time with this sometimes? lol
Post # 11
@Trinisexy2: Ooooh I’m glad you see it my way on the past sexual relationships. Why in the world would I be ok with my husband being “friends” with someone he’s had sex with? But he gets it, he messed up in the beginning and now fully understands 🙂
Post # 12
@MrsNewBride427: I can totally understand circumstances in relationship that cause one to feel uncertainity like cheating or pushy ex’s. I’m sure if I had that happen in my relationship I’d be mad woman for a while. I’m more talking irrational people whom, have completley unrealistic expecations. I know some women who get upset their SO if they watch a TV program and he says something about an actress being attractive. Like it turns into WWIII, That to me is over the top and they need to seek mental help.
Post # 13
@MrsNewBride427: exactly! I have a ton of guy friends I’ve never been involved with romantically so it would be wrong for me to say hey you can’t have female friends. But someone I dated that is another story, clearly lines were crossed that you can’t jump back over. So those “friends” are a no go. I don’t have any insecurities about him being friends with women who are just friends.
Post # 14
I answered “don’t like it when” to all 3 scenarios, but he doesn’t actually do those things. I understand some guys do, but one of the reasons I chose him was because of that.
I am a possessive partner, but also trusting. I am also not technically “jealous” as that implies a fear that he’ll leave or betray me: I know he won’t. I don’t make false accusations or snoop, as he has never given me a reason to doubt him. Women hit on him, he can’t help that, but he does not conceal or encourage it. I am unflaggingly faithful in the same way in return!
I chose “very jealous” in your poll though, due to my high expectations compared to some bees.
Post # 15
I don’t care if SO looks at or lusts after other girls. I do the same thing! Girls are nice to look at, I get it. I don’t care about porn and I wouldn’t care if he went to a strip club for a bachelor party or something.
Now when his ex-girlfriends start texting or messaging him, that’s when I get jealous. Because I know at some point they shared strong feelings and were intimate. I don’t act on the jealousy, but SO knows I don’t like when his exes come around and he respects that. Also, if he were to get close to another female that isn’t currently in his life, I’d probably get a little jealous.
But I trust my SO and I know he would never be unfaithful in any way.
Post # 16
@bklynbridetobe: lol yeah my poor husband openly admitted he was worried about something like that just the other day.
We were talking about funny actors and such and he said he didn’t know if I would be upset with him laughing at women that were funny. I was floored that he would worry about that. He’s been on edge lately trying not to stress me though because of health issues but come on… Laughing at something funny? I of course told him he could laugh at whomever he wants, I don’t want to control him! He just said he was trying not to stress me out about anything.
I have been on the receiving end of that kind of jealousy and it’s more controlling than it is jealousy. I do think there is also a big difference between healthy and unhealthy jealousy.