Post # 1
FI and I both come from families of huggers. In addition, kisses on the cheek in greeting are part of my culture. With family, there are tons of hugs and cheek kisses. Our main group of friends, like us, tend to lack a personal space bubble and have no shame. We’ll have giant cuddle puddles, sit on each others laps, hugs, etc. FIs given lap dances to a couple unsuspecting roommates. We have a bromance with another engaged couple that we’ve been friends with for a while. I’ve kissed her, he’s kissed him. New relationships learn fast that this is how we all are. If you’ve got boundaries we respect them for sure, though. With new people and other groups of friends we limit it to just hugs hello and goodbye.
How physical are you and your SO with family and friends?
Post # 3
My grandmother is off the boat Italian and I spent summers growing up with family in Italy, so kissing everyone on both cheeks to greet them is like second nature to me. I’m fine with hugging people too and I wouldn’t consider myself to really have much of a bubble.
That being said, I wouldnt sit on other guys’ laps, whether they were friends with both my FI and I or not. And I’d be peeved about another girl sitting on my FI’s lap. Thats just a tad too flirty, for me. We certainly don’t kiss anyone else on the lips.
Post # 4
I may kiss on the cheek and/or hug immediate family and very close friends when greeting them or when saying goodbye. His family is what I would consider “cold” in the closeness department, which was a bit strange for me at first, but I’m okay with it now.
Post # 5
@adoc86: Most lap sitting is between same sexes, the only exception being when we’re seeing how many people we can fit on the couch. Then it’s an everyone on everyone free for all.
Post # 6
Neither of us is super affectionate, if at all, with family or friends, but of the two of us I’d say I’m the hugger. I have never once seen FI hug his family members, lol.
Post # 7
My family is the affectionate type. I am almost 30 and when I’m with my mom we walk arm in arm or if we are next to each other on the couch my head is in her lap, lots of hugs and kisses for my bro and dad too.
My husband’s family is very stiff, so a quick hug when we enter the room and that is it.
As far as how we are with friends, we always hug friends hello/goodbye and I usually punch or grab my friends butt (both male and female,) espically if they don’t see me walking up behind them, it is one of my favorite things to do b/c of I love seeing their face thinking some creepy person grabbed their bottom. 🙂
As far as the PDA for my husband, we usually walk holding hands, have a hand on each other’s knee on the couch, and kiss occassionally in front of friends and family. Nowhere near like my friend who recently got a BF, for example on Fri she kept jumping on him & he was spinning her around. They also kep kissing at dinner and it was just the 4 of us, not my style.
Post # 8
I always hug my friends and do the cultural kiss on the cheek…but thats about it. FI is the same…I was definitely a lot more flirty when we met, but I definitely toned it down a lot since we’ve been together. I know what I wouldn’t be ok with his girl friends doing…so i make sure to keep that in mind around my guy friends LOL
Post # 9
We are just huggers but pretty much only when leaving. I have been somewhat standoffish ever since I was a kid and have never been the type to sit in laps and be overly affectionate with people I’m not in a relationship with. My sister is though and its really funny because we grew up in the same house.
Post # 10
DH has one male friend that is his girlfriend. They take naps together and hug and there’s really no boundaries.
But aside from that, we do hello hugs and that’s it for both of us!
And his family kisses hello.
Post # 11
We hug family when greeting or saying goodbye, but that’s about it. My immediate family is really not physically affectionate so anything more than that generally makes me uncomfortable, lol.
Post # 12
We both need our space. We’re not very cuddly. In both our families, we kiss hello (twice, one kiss on each cheek) when we arrive or leave, but that’s all.
Post # 13
My FI and I come from a town where physical affection is rare between peers. Our parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents hug us hellos and goodbye, but we don’t often touch our friends. I was really weirded out when I got to college and people were jumping on me all of the time. Now FI and I both have one or two close friends that we hug, but otherwise we don’t really touch our friends.
Post # 14
I am moderately affectionate with some friends. I think it’s important to lead with the fact that all of our male friends are mutual friends. But most of them kiss me on the cheek/forehead to say hello or goodbye. There are a few I peck on the cheek, but not as many as peck me. We hug, they offer their arm to me at times, etc. It’s all pretty cordial/formal, I don’t think it would make anyone feel uncomfortable.
One time at a bar I joined a table of our guy friends and there was a seat short. I was waiting on FI so one of the guys scurried off to grab another chair for him. One of the other guys offered me his lap to sit on so I could just give my chair to FI. I declined, because I thought “how weird would it be for FI to show up and I’m on someone’s lap with an empty chair there??” But had I sat on his lap, I don’t think anyone but me and FI would have thought it was odd. Just how our group is, I guess!
Post # 15
@HonoraryNerd: My SO is not affectionate and doesn’t even kiss/hug his mom but I am super affectionate with my family and kissing everyone on the lips is kind of common for my italian family. Friends are different and I am nly comfortable with hugging them.
Post # 16
Neither of us are affectionate with anyone but each other. Niece, nephew & my 11 yo brother — but that’s more me than him.