So hurt – horrible first experience dress shopping

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6457 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry your first experience went like that! Is there anyone else you can take with you in the future in place of your mom?

Post # 4
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

That lady was just a jerk.  Take your business somewhere else. I had gained about 15 pounds before my first dress appointment and told my consultant that and my plans to lose it and she couldn’t have made me feel more beautiful at my current weight. 



Post # 5
1035 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@laceydoilies:  You poor thing, what a horrible experience. I assume your Mum knows what you’ve been through and so can’t believe she would make such mean and unhelpful comments. I hope you will find the perfect dress that makes you feel as beautiful and special as you deserve to on your wedding day. I don’t know how traditional you are but could you take SO when you go dress shopping? Hugs.

Post # 6
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@laceydoilies:  There is no excuse for your mother’s actions. If I were you, I’d go dress shopping without her.

Post # 7
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@laceydoilies:  I wouldn’t take her again honestly..ALSO your mother should realize that bridal sizes are no where near what street sizes are half the time and every designer is different! I’m so sorry you had this happen. 🙁 

Post # 8
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@laceydoilies:  I don’t know your size, but the bridal industry makes dresses for ALL shapes and sizes. My advice, next time just go alone and have a consultant help you. You can tell her that due to your insecurity with your size you didn’t want to invite guests right away. But if you find a dress that you like, come back with your mother to show it to her after youve already tried it on.

NO ONE should have to feel like this preparing for their wedding. 

Post # 9
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am SO sorry you had such a horrible experience! NOT all salons are like that–and I’m SO sorry the person in the dressing room was talking to you like that!

I’m sure you look gorgeous as-is (your FI certainly thinks so!)

And you deserve to feel gorgeous on your wedding day!

Post # 10
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

So sorry you had to deal with that. For one, you need to try on the styles you like to see if they work for you, not have your mother just write them off because of what she thinks. That was very hurtful of your mom to say, especially in light of what you have went through before. Next time, don’t take your mom. Just go with a friend, or your MOH, and have the consultant help you get into dresses. It is their job, after all. 

Post # 11
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I thinkt hat maybe you’ll have to be very careful who you take shopping with you.  I’m so sorry your mom reacted this way.  My mom was always very gentle with her comments when I tried things on as a kid and teen, and when we went gown shopping, she really looked to me to see if I loved or hated something before chiming in.  There are plenty of lovely dress consultants who will be happy to help you find something that looks amazing and won’t insult you.  Would it be okay to leave your mom at home the next time, or do you think that might damage your relationship?  I’m not sure why our family members sometimes think it’s their job to provide brutally honest commentary on our bodies and appearances.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard mothers tearing apart their daughters’ self-esteem two or three stalls down from me in a dressing room.

Post # 12
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry!! Don’t take your mum with you next time and have the sales consultant help you in your dress. Don’t let it spoil sbything for you. You will look beautiful on your wedding day

Post # 13
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I just wanted to give youq big hug from one fat girl of the family to another. Because of the way my family (immediate and extended) treated me growing up  I’ve always had confidence problems about the way I look,and it wasn’t until about 3-4 years ago that I finally got to a happy “screw them all”when they talked about my weight stage. I’m not even going to presume I know how you feel, and I just wanted to Po offer you some moral support. 

I personally started my dress shopping alone because I didn’t know what to expect, and it was confidence breaking considering I went to a small shop and the dresses I tried on were 8-10 sizes larger than my street size, and I couldn’t even fathom trying on the nice ones I wanted to try on since they were too small. Despite knowing that wedding sizes are different, I felt horrible. But I went to other ones alone and it got better. I promise it gets better. 

Post # 14
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That stinks that your first experience wasn’t the best *hugs*. And I am the same as you, I suffered from anorexia when I was younger and actually found peace with myself a few years ago…and I am nowhere near skinny anymore. It does shock me that your mom wouldn’t have been more choosey with her words to you because of your history with weight.

I would definitely try a larger bridal store that may carry samples in all sizes so that you’ll be able to actually see what you’ll look like. Keep thinking healthy and stay strong!

Post # 16
4751 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I hate that your first trip was so terrible.

Honestly, I just don’t subscribe by the “mom needs to go shopping” thing. Yes, for a lot of people mom is who they want to take. However, I’m a firm believer that you should take people who are a great support group with you. I didn’t take my mom with me. She’s a strong personality and it was just not something I wanted to deal with when shopping for a wedding dress.

My SIL also had a horrible experience going with her mom first. Then, we went as a group (also with her mom) and that wasn’t so great either. Yesterday we went with just the bridesmaids, it was amazing. She found the dress and it was so stress free and calm. 

I think you should not worry too much about your weight (I know, easier said than done). Try shopping again with just a few good friends. Let the consultant help you into the dress – they’ve seen it all and aren’t there to judge you. 

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