So I guess I got so sick of waiting that I proposed…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Reactions to my proposal situation:
    He'll never agree to that! : (9 votes)
    3 %
    You should have just kept waiting. : (19 votes)
    6 %
    Why haven't I thought of that?! : (7 votes)
    2 %
    You have more guts than me. : (71 votes)
    22 %
    It might work. I hope he says YES! : (132 votes)
    40 %
    It's not your place to propose. : (12 votes)
    4 %
    He's clearly NOT ready. : (76 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    3009 posts
    Sugar bee

    @lululurgurl:  I think what you did is great! This is your life and you decision, too. If after 6 years he is not sure, then that’s the answer. If you were just a tear or 2 in I would say you should ease up, but come on now.

    However it turns out, I am proud of you for being assertive! 

    Post # 4
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    You are brave and amazing. I hope the says yes!

    Post # 5
    498 posts
    Helper bee

    Sounds like a good adult conversation that more couples should be having.  It’s fair for you to have some say in your own life!


    Good luck and I hope things turn out well!

    Post # 6
    1896 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think what you did is OK and you needed to do it…. but none of the poll answers really fit my thought, which is.


    Good for you for speaking up, but i’m not sure he’s ready for everything you want.


    Post # 7
    980 posts
    Busy bee

    That sounds like an awesome conversation to have and a perfect way to set the tone for the rest of your relationship! Fingers crossed for you. I can’t wait to hear an update. 

    Post # 8
    139 posts
    Blushing bee

    Your basically my hero right now. It must have been so hard to get the courage to do that and also keep a level head. I really really hope this is the start to everything you want and deserve.

    Post # 9
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    One thing to think about:  You talk about wanting to start to plan a wedding, he’s talking about buying property.  Both of those cost a lot and will contribute significantly to you guys having a great life together.

    The thing that doesn’t have to be expensive out of the two is the wedding. (Unless some house genie falls out of the shy and gives you a house.)  He may not be opposed to being married but is more worried about the cost of the wedding.  Giving him a few days is smart and I think it’s good that he now realizes what a big deal it is to you, but just be prepared to listen to his side and to compromise if necessary e.g. a smaller guest list or a less formal wedding so that he doesn’t feel ike his goals are getting lost either.

    Good luck!

    Post # 11
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    wow… you have some big cojones!!

    This move eliminates room for resentment and he knows exactly what is on your mind. I believe in the end its a win-win situation for you. If he turns down your plan well that means that you are not holding on to hopes and you can move on. If he accepts… YAY!! You can move on to the next stage in life.

    Keep us informed!! I wish you the best.

    Post # 12
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    Bravo! I commend you for taking matters into your own hands and telling him exactly how you feel. That being said, this is the time where you absolutely CANNOT back down and need to follow through, regardless of that means when he gives you his answer. I want to explain I agree with PPs in that it may mean you need to compromise in the type of wedding you have because of wanting to meet other goals (like buying a house, etc). BUT, I would not compromise on your actual timeline because that would just prove you don’t mean what you say and he can string you along. 

    Post # 13
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @lululurgurl:  Communication is a relationship foundation. You made your needs clear and if he can’t deliver it is best you know now so that you can choose to move on. Hopefully that won’t happen but at least you have been honest and done what you can.

    Post # 15
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Good job! I hope it works out the way you want 🙂

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