Post # 1
So I’m sure most of you saw the video, “It Could Happen to You” that was posted several times here yesterday. Here it is if you haven’t seen it. Well I posted it on my Facebook wall to share with friends because I thought it was a powerful video worth sharing. I wrote a comment above it saying “The world would be such a more beautiful place if we had more open minded people”
I totally forgot that DH’s aunt used to be a hippie/huge liberal until she became an alcoholic. She ‘found’ herself and recovered and became a born again Christian. I am so happy that she battled the addiction and I can’t even imagine what she we through. But she is an entirely different person. Anyway, She gets into a cyber fight with a kid who I am friends with from high school about gay marriage. She obviously doesn’t know FB etiquette. She even gave links to several of her books that she reads to back up her arguments. Long story short I end up deleting the whole thing because it was really getting out of hand.
So she sends me a message on facebook that says:
“Sorry Gab…but you made a ‘statement’….just wanted you to think about it….really…gay marriage won’t make the world a beautiful place…..ever”
I feel so down now! I know it was my fault that I posted the video and made a controversial comment saying how people need to be more open minded but come on!
There really is no point to this post. I feel sad now and I just wanted to share this with you all (how kind of me, right? 😉 ) There has been A LOT of talk on gay marriage here lately so I’m sure other bees would feel the same way!
Thanks for reading 🙂
Post # 3
Don’t be sad, you are allowed to share your opinion! You aren’t forcing it on anyone, just saying people should be oen minded! SHE on the other hand should probably tone it down a bit with the pushing others to see it her way. And the HS friend obviously responded to her bs. Deleting it was a good move since there was fighting over it. It happens, and people have differing opinions, and sometimes, they don’t care who they stomp on to get heard. That’s their issue.
Post # 4
I honestly think I’d write her back and let her know that ignorance and bigotry won’t make the world a beautiful place…ever. Then I’d limit her from my profile so that she could never see another “offensive” post again.
Post # 5
@MsJ2theZ: You’re so right. I guess I’m sad because my intention wasn’t to debate on the issue. The thing is she’s such a fun person and is really funny. She knows not to bring up her religion on us because there is no point. It’s going to be really awkward next time I see her!
Post # 6
@Juliepants: I know. She’s a lost cause. I just wrote back and said one of the greatest things about our country is that we have the freedom to feel however we want. You do your thing, I do mine.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t do it but the evil version of me would want to send a message back that said, “no need to apologize, I took it down so you could stop embarressing yourself and people wouldn’t see how close minded you are…”
Post # 8
As a Bee here said recently, this is our generation’s Civil Rights Movement. We’re about to see a whole bunch of turmoil and disagreement over this, and it’ll probably last for quite some time. There’s nothing you can do about it except hold fast to whatever your beliefs are while keeping an open mind, and vote when the time comes.
Post # 9
I know exactly what you mean. After the result from NC got announced I posted a sad status on FB about it which got HUGE attitude from my one and only super-conservative ‘friend’. She got really stroppy about it and posted about how happy she was that the measure passed. She was quite hurtful but it’s important to be the bigger person. I politely told her that the amendment hurts many people, where as SSM hurts nobody.That’s all you can do.
There’s no reasoning with people like this. State your case politely, it’s not worth arguing. Sorry you have to put up with that.
Also, how anybody can watch that video and not feel at least SOME sadness is beyond me… do people not have a heart?
Post # 10
I have Facebook friends that will get snarky about things that I post. I’ve posted some pretty controversial articles and receieved major cyber abuse.
I just don’t accept it. I won’t allow someone to think that they can get away with speaking to me like that. I always respond, and I’m always blunt and to the point.
Post # 11
It wasn’t your fault that she reacted like that. If you had to carefully analyze your FB friends for possible negative reactions before posting anything you’d never be able to post at all! It’s too bad that she’s so close minded. It makes me incredibly sad that there are people more focused on hate than love.
Post # 12
I have no clue why, but my VERY conservative, Southern Baptist grandfather, is on facebook. I am friends with my parents and the grandfather, mostly because I don’t post things on there I don’t mind the world knowing… anyway, seeing as how he’s so conservative I’ve been kind of waiting for him to say something about my “support equal rights” posts. So far, nothing. I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t know how to use facebook, or if he doesn’t want to open a can of worms :/ Lucky me, I guess.l
Post # 13
I’ve posted something like this on my FB as well. I got literally attacked by a guy who claimed to be a Christian, and proceeded to tell me that this country needs Christ and we’re going to die without him and that gay marriage is an abominiation (the usual stuff of course). Well, I myself am a Christian and I can’t believe someone (that I don’t even TALK to outside of FB) would condemn me, on my own page. I don’t understand why they think they can have their opinions but I can’t have mine and when I do express mine, someone always has to have the upper hand (as if they feel I’m personally insulting them by saying what I truly believe.
Post # 14
@MlleBrielle: I don’t know what your relationship is with your DH’s aunt, but honestly I think that’s just gross. Gross and sad and ignorant. Lately, I’ve found myself having little patience for people like her…who have popped up on FB more and more lately. The wife of a good friend of ours posted her exasperation with the amendment one vote and went on and on about how she doesn’t care about any of it, it doesn’t affect her, the only person judgeing her will be god himself and then gays will have to worry about their own judgement. I can’t tell you how much respect I lost for her. I can’t respect her. I don’t respect her. In fact, if her husband weren’t in our bridal party, she really wouldn’t be welcome. I dont’ mean that in a “I’m going to have security to make sure you dont’ get in” sense, but in a “nice to see you, i really wish you weren’t here though” (in my head). To see her for the person she really is is just…gross.
Post # 15
@MlleBrielle: Don’t be sad! I think it’s great that you posted it, I did too. I think if we don’t push for what we believe in change will never happen. It was your choice to post it and it was her choice to make her beliefs known as well, it is the internet so it’s a given that will happen (could happen in person too, but I think people are a little braver online). If she got into an argument with someone else then that to me, is a little too far given it was on your facebook page and not a public forum such as the bee.
So far there have been no negative posts regarding it on my facebook but I knew that by posting it I was taking a chance. Here’s the thing: I do not care. In most things in life I do not have a strong opinion but equal rights for all people regardless of sexual orientation is one thing that I will fight for, no questions asked.
I know this is long but I just wanted to end by saying thank you for being brave enough to even post it for a little while!
Post # 16
I hate facebook arguments (they are usually petty and stupid, really, who is going to have their mind changed by a facebook comment no matter how brilliant?) They are usually nastier than real life arguments too.
For this reason I do not post on political issues on facebook and I block my friends who do. With it being an election year my feed is going to get tumbleweeds in it I am afraid!! I am proud that I have diverse friends who come from all different directions but some of them are very passionate (good) and don’t know how to play well with others (bad).
Keeping this in mind, my philosophy is if you don’t want to deal with the controversy then don’t wade into it! Life is too short for me to deal with mean facebook messages, so the stuff I am passionate about, I work on in real life and not on the Internet. One of my bffs is always posting stuff on how abortion is bad and then complaining when people start a war on the status. Well, it’s abortion, and her status update is public, so what does she expect? Gay marriage is also a hot button issue. If you have a global perspective it’s even more controversial. In a global referendum, liberalizing the marriage laws would go down in huge flames. And there would probably be a few actual wars due to people getting themselves worked up.
One way to respond to haters… my mother always says when adults name-call they are really talking about themselves. So when people say things like “abomination” or “going to hell” well… Or the opposite way, when people use the words “bigot” they’re describing their own hatred for people with differing perspectives.