Weddingbee boards

gasp!  it's true. i proposed to him, and now we're getting married.

i was a bee-in-waiting for a good long while and was ready to say OF COURSE the second my man decided to pop the question.  i dreamed about him proposing, and every holiday and anniversary i couldn't help getting excited that it might happen.  i was browsing the 'bee long before there was a ring on my finger.  i was ready and waiting.  then one day a conversation with a friend who said "why don't you just propose to him" (jokingly), sparked a fire in my mind that i could not put out.  for weeks the idea was born and then squashed over and over in my brain.  on one hand, the idea was liberating.  i'm a modern gal, and these are modern times.  as a supporter of love in all it's beautiful forms, i started to see proposals in the same light.  there's no relationship blueprint that says that the female should be waiting patiently for her man to get down on one knee.  side note: i am absolutely NOT knocking girls who do choose to wait!  every relationship has different needs, and different levels, if any, of traditionalism.  the way my best friend likes do do things may be opposite of how i do, and that's fine!  so.. non stop it echoed in my head.. why can't i propose??

but then the bad thoughts came.. the what if's, what would's.. what would everyone think?  what would HE think?  would he feel emasculated?  what if he doesn't take me seriously?  considering how modern our times are, i thought that if i did a little google search on female proposals, i would find a plethora of info to ease my little mind.  upon my first full work day of doing nothing but digging for information on this subject (shh, don't tell my boss!), i was surprised to find very little about girls doing this.  what i found the most of was girls asking about it on sites like yahoo answers, and being completely ripped apart on these sites for even thinking it might be a good idea.  it was disheartening.  then, a few days later while not even searching the subject, i stumbled upon this post, and the naysayers in my mind were instantly told to leave the party.  the party that is my brain.

this post by A Practical Wedding gave me the assurance i needed to get the ball rolling and really do this thing.  i felt good, real good.  my next step was actually telling the ones closest to me about this diabolical plan i had to propose to my guy.  though i felt very much assured within myself, i still felt terrified to reveal my plan to others.  i felt like i was telling my mom i was failing algebra.  for some reason, i was worried that the non-traditional route i was planning on taking might dissappoint her and possibly everyone else.  but she wasn't dissappointed in the least.  her reaction was perfect, it was everything i hoped for and everything i needed to keep going.  i told my sister, his mom, my best friend and his.. and with every person i told, the reactions were more and more amazing.  it really felt great to be so unconditionally supported by the people we love so much.

the night i proposed was really sweet.  i came home from work early and strung white christmas lights all over our apartment.  i lit some candles, played a playlist of "our songs", and had my big long shpeal all typed out and ready to go.  i decided to read him and exerpt from a poem called "i like you" by Sandol Stoddard Walberg, followed by something i wrote myself.  that whole day, i was shaking like a leaf!  asking someone if they'll spend the rest of their life with you and only you is pretty gut-wrenching, literally!  my stomach was in knots, especially when i heard the key turn the lock..

when he walked in, he had no idea what was going on.  i awkwardly said "hi", and then began reading.  throughout my reading, i began to well up with tears and he did too, once he realized what i was doing.  the more i read, the more happy-tears streamed down my face.  i was almost to the end of my speech when our dog, who wasn't pleased with the lack of attention she was getting, started to jump on us and bark.  we were laughing and crying and i told him i want to spend the rest of my life with him.  i presented him with a watch that i had the inside face engraved with song lyrics, and asked him if he'd marry me.  he said yes.

afterwards there was a lot of hugging, laughing and crying.  i called my mom to tell her the good news- we're engaged!  when i got off the phone, i went in the bedroom to find my new fiance.  he was holding something in his hand and when i approached him, i realized it was a ring.  my great grandmother's engagement ring, to be exact.  turns out he was planning on proposing within the next few weeks.  he had his own shpeal, too, and although it was off the top of his head, it was the sweetest thing i've ever heard.  i love that he said yes to me, and then proposed back.  it really makes us both feel like neither of us are better or more empowered than the other, we're equal in our relationship.  after the rest of the phone calls to family, we changed our facebook status, turned off our phones, and got dinner and a bottle of wine to celebrate our first night as an engaged couple.

afterwards, when i told my fiance about my initial fears when i first started to consider proposing, his reply was perfect- we've never been a traditional couple, so why would we start now?  that guy sure does get me!

we had an overall great reaction to our proposal story, but that's not to say that some people don't frown and scratch their head at the idea.  some people just can't grasp the idea of a female proposing to a male, and that's fine!  it's not for everyone.  but the point is, it was for us and i don't regret a single thing (even knowing he was about to do it himself!).

the reason for me writing this is because of how hard of a time i had finding support, or examples of other women's stories, on this subject.  i think that if you are entertaining the idea, awesome!  i do think you have to consider your man and his feelings- is he traditional, and does he hold proposing to you very highly?  then it might be a conversation you want to have before-hand.  i want other women to be able to at least entertain this idea without any negative connotations before deciding for themselves if it's for them or not.  if you do decide it's for you- you are not alone! <3

Awesome story! How sweet that he was planning to propose as well. :) Congratulations!