(Closed) s/o – If your Husband, FI, SO Cheated – Would You Want Someone to Tell you?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
  • poll: If your Husband, FI, SO Cheated - Would You Want Someone to Tell you?
    Yes : (152 votes)
    87 %
    No : (22 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I’d want to know, though I can’t see my husband ever cheating.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    4442 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Zhabeego:  I voted yes, but it depends on who it’s coming from — if it was a stranger I wouldn’t believe them and would probably get REALLY angry.  But if it was a friend I wouldn’t want them keeping that information from me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3200 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Zhabeego:  yes, i would want to know. not only for the reason you listed, but for my own sexual health. if my FI (later, DH) had sex with another woman, i would want to know immediately not only to make an informed decision about the relationship, but about my own body.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Yes I would want to know so I could kick his ass and then drag him to counseling.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @Birdee106:  +1 high five! Right there with ya!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1847 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’d want/hope that my FI would tell me himself. I’d rather the person who knew made my FI tell me (if he wasn’t going to tell me originally). Id just rather it came from him.

     

    It would depend on who the person was if I wanted them telling me or noT. If it was someone I’m close to and trust, then yes.. I’d want them to tell me.. If it was someone I’m not close to and that i don’t trust, I probably wouldnt believe it from them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8044 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @Zhabeego:  I think in the end it would be best for me to know. It would suck to find out, but it would also suck to have people talk behind my back, to possibly get STDs, etc.

    Post # 10
    Member
    648 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Hell yes I’d want to know. I’d dump his @ss and appreciate my friend’s honesty and loyalty.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I voted yes, but I would only want to find out from a friend or family member.  I would be very suspicious if a stranger (especially a female) brought this information to me.  I’ve had way too many experiences with spiteful women that I didn’t know from Adam…enough said.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1116 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would def want to know.  I think that is the worst feeling when you finally find something out and you were the last to know especially related to this.. ugh that would infuriate me.  I’d want to know so I could pack his stuff and have it waiting in the driveway for him!

    Post # 14
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Zhabeego:  I would want the dignity of having the information necessary to make an informed decision.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’d ask 2 different questions:

    1) would I want to know? MAYBE. One time thing, huge mistake, big regret, never gonna happen again… NO, do NOT tell me. Cheater, big problems in relationship, emotional attachment, affair… YES, tell me.

    question 2 however is a different story, would I expect a person who may be close to the cheater in question to betray his/ her friend JUST to inform me? NO! I’m realistic. If my BFF cheater on her partner, I would NEVER, EVER tell the partner. I am my friend’s friend- I would not betray friendship to put some other party “in the know” for the sake of knowing. Sorry, but that’s not my place. Therefore, I would not, and do not expect that from other people onto me.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5227 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I am going against the poll and I voted “no”

     

    The reason is, I have been cheated on in the past ( not with my DH, a boyfriend from college) and I was told by several people. Guess what? It changed nothing. I still had to “find the evidence” for myself to convince myself that he actually did this to me and the ONLY thing that convinced me was when he admitted to the cheating. My suspicions were already raised, and the girls thinking they did a favor really weren’t because it gave him an out to use ( example: he would say, “why would you trust what X said? You know she is crazy and dramatic”). So, instead of coming to the hard truth of what my relationship had become, it became a us vs. them and probably prolonged things more than anything else.

     

    I am always, ALWAYS now firmly in the camp of mind your own damn business, and I would want people to do the same for me.

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