(Closed) So, I’m married, but…

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmmmm.  I wish I knew!

Maybe once you have settled in and got everything changed and settled 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hmm, that’s kind of a tough one. DH and I didn’t live together before, so things changed completely for us. Maybe you should go ahead and change your name so things will feel a little different? You could even just have a cozy date night where you guys re-hash your favorite parts of the wedding? Sorry if it’s not super helpful advice, but I’m guessing talking about it more will make it seem more real!

Post # 5
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@pohget: I had, and am still having the same reaction as you. I have changed my facebook name, but I have made no attempt to do so legally. It feels….um….I don’t know– almost like I’m lying about being married. I’ve spend almost 30 years being “single”, I guess it’s going to take some time getting used to.

Don’t get me wrong– I totally love my husband, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else, and I am thankful for him every day. We had an amazing time at our wedding, but it just seemed like a party. A big, giant, fun party. We had only been living with eachother for 2 months before we got married, so it’s not like we really had an established routine or anything– yet I still felt like everything was the way it always was. I guess that’s just fine, because nothing was wrong with our relationship. 🙂

Honestly, the engagement was better than the wedding for me. Having him propose just solidified our importance to eachother. The wedding just reaffirmed that— having that initial proclamation of him wanting to spend his life with me was the game changer in my opinion.

Post # 6
Member
14317 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yeah, there wasnt really fireworks screaming at me that we were married now.  We lived together in the house we bought for a year already so daily life didnt really change.  Its still a little odd hearing him refer to me as his wife, or calling him my husband.  In a way, I’m glad theres no crazy change to how we are… no change is better than sudden new behavior or expectation.

Post # 7
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@pinkshoes: I agree with that way you put it 100%.  We were in the same situation, living together before so it wasn’t all of a sudden.  Sometimes it’s still weird saying my husband and we’ve been married 2 years!

Post # 8
Member
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Congratulations! I feel you on the anti-climactic thing – but it’ll just hit you …. eventually. And when it does, it’s a funny feeling. Awesome, weird, surreal, sort of scary, but really just.. awesome.

Post # 9
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@jaguar: agreed!

I think leading up to your marriage you think there might be some big noticeable change and there isn’t one thing that happens at once. It’s just little things over time. Maybe it’s that the weight of an argument feels different than it did before. Maybe it’s that when you talk about kids it’s your real not so far off future you are talking about and you get more giddy about it than ever before. Maybe it’s that you feel more like a team than you ever imagined you would. You’ll notice the moments and I’m sure there are more and more moments throughout our lives that will make these feelings even stronger. Like a PP said, I’m glad there isn’t some big dramatic change because then it would feel weird!

Post # 10
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I was married in July and it still feels like a dream. Nothing changed, but the wedding felt like a dream when I think about it. I’m also starting to feel like July was a LONG time ago wth??

Post # 11
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My wedding is in a little over a month and it’s starting to feel real now. It’s like everything is done for the wedding, we’re starting to set up our new house and move into it…. I kinda feel like I’m married.

Maybe it’s a bit like after your birthday you don’t immediately feel “27” anymore, you still feel like you’re “26” and you keep saying the wrong age and then one day you say the correct age.

Post # 12
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I will be honest with you, It still hasn’t FULLY hit me and we have been married almost 4 months. But reality did set in a little more when I received our pictures!

Post # 13
Member
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel similar! It’s such a strange feeling…my life is the same exact way it was, but my name is different. And I am thinking back on my memories of last Saturday and I can’t believe it’s already gone. I think it’s a little bit of not wanting to let THAT go….all of our family and friends came, we celebrated, and they left. I think it’s kind of sad for it all to be over and then it’s all done and now nothing “feels” different yet!

I actually have changed my name already though — SS and drivers liceense and Facebook 🙂  And it still is odd. Every time I’ve had to sign my name I keep forgetting to do my new one, even though I’m so excited to!   Ahh!

Post # 14
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It never hit me all at once.  The wedding was magical, but felt like an alternate reality and not real.  I changed my name on facebook right away, to get myself into the habit.  But for me it happens all the time, where I’m just like, oh wow we’re married.  A couple weeks ago, we saw my family for the first time since the wedding, and my husband was on the phone and said something about “My wife has next weekend off, so that might work.”  And my sister was like “whoa, you’re someone’s wife.”

It’s just all these little moments, and then a couple months in, you look around and realize you’re used to it, you no longer stumble over calling him your “husband,” and it doesn’t feel like this make-believe thing anymore.  At least that’s how it happened for me.

Post # 15
Member
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

The first time I had to use my married name in a doctor’s office, it hit me (I felt married already, but hearing my new name come out of my own mouth was surprisingly cool).

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