Post # 1
Not really, I actually love my family very much, but they are all driving me bonkers! My FH proposed to me in April, right before our 4 year anniversary and I wanted to start planning our wedding right away. My mom and my best friend both thought I was crazy, because they both had very very short engagements (2 wks/1 mnth) and blew me off every time I brought it up. I let it go for awhile because my FH and I wanted to have time to plan the basics but now it is almost January, and everytime I bring it up the topic gets brushed aside.
My feelings are really hurt, I’m not asking for financial help or anything, I just thought my family would be more excited, or at least care at all! I am my moms oldest daughter, and we are really close, but she just doesn’t seem to care. My family all loves my FH, so I know that isn’t the issue.
I’m not a very confrontational person, but my feelings are really hurt, I’m not sure quite how to handle it…
BTW, I’ve been lurking around the hive for months but have been too shy to contribute. I feel like I already know some of you lol!
Post # 3
Sorry you are going through this but I think it is best that you talk to your mom about how you are feelings…Since you have a good relationship with her I am sure the talk will go well…
Post # 4
I would just go ahead and plan yourself without your family. I’m sorry that they aren’t really involved but sometimes that happens. My family wasn’t really involved in the planning either. Try talking to them about how you feel and see how it goes. Do his parents live close? Could they help you out with planning? Last resort, all of us on here would love to hear about your planning!
Post # 5
Dont feel bad, i am going through the same thing. My sister got married a few months ago and my mom was all about it! Now im planning my wedding and i get no interest whatsoever from anybody! Not even my sister, which i was helping her alot with her bridal shower and offered alot to help with her wedding. We cant all have that picture perfect family we see in movies. It stinks but we have to deal and accept it. Just keep reminding yourself that its about you and FH and its your day! I wish my family would be excited for me too but everyone is stressed about their own daily life problems so I understand that. I just learned how to accept it, it hurts but oh well
Post # 6
I went through that too, nobody was really interested in it except me. When I’d try to get people involved it seemed really forced, it was hard. Keep your head up, but be sure to ask for help if you feeling really overwhelmed, I’m sure if they knew that, they’d be more than happy to step in and help.
Post # 7
@MissAsB I think having you guys all listen to my ideas should have been my first resort lol!
@Sharron04 I think you’re right, I just hate awkward conversations.
@tammyt112 I’m sorry you have to deal with it too! My sister is actually the only one who cares, but she lives thousands of miles away and is super busy. I will definitely be there for her though, I don’t want her to go through this. You would think your sister would be a bit better because she would understand the stress.
@IA_Snowflake I think I will have to let them know I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, they are family and I know they love me, so hopefully it gets better.
I think another reason it frustrates me so much is that in the beginning of our engagement my mom mentioned “If you run of to Vegas we will be so upset..” Grr! How can she want me to have a wedding, but then not act like she cares at all?
Post # 8
I don’t know anyone who gets the optimal amount of interest from families in their wedding – either they don’t seem to really care, or they’re too involved and telling you what to do. my mom had a simple wedding too and she just doesn’t see the need for all this planning. so just enjoy the autonomy of making all the big choices by yourself 🙂
Post # 9
I would just go ahead and start getting busy! Don’t wait any longer as venues, photographers and the the like must be booked in advance! I had the same situation where everyone seemed so excited when we announced the wedding date and then I was left to do everything myself. Luckily, I had the bees during the last few months to bounce ideas off of and ask advice. Perhaps they will get more excited one you start getting everything in place. If not, too bad for them and be proud that the beautiful wedding you will have will be of your own design!
Post # 10
maybe they are not excited because that is their way of not supporting the marriage? do they even like your FI to begin with? or do they brush it off and take this whole thing as a joke because you are a person of little follow through?
In my opinion, if the both of the both of them are like this, there has to be a reasonl.
Post # 11
Don’t stress it to much. My parents and myself/FI were really invovled in my brother’s wedding last spring. Now that mine is in 90 days they are just starting to ask questions about the details and what they can help with. I overheard my mom telling the dress alterations lady yesterday that she hasn’t worried about this wedding much because she knew that I would have a plan and dive right in and it would all be taken care of. And you know what she’s right! I am a very much take charge/planner type person. I know what I like and don’t like. So unlike my brother and SIL I don’t need the help that they did. I had already taken care of the basics as you said above so my parents didn’t stress out like they did with their wedding.
What I’m getting at is, it’s not that they don’t care about your wedding or your FI… it is simply you got it together and they know it. When you get closer I think you’ll see more help that’s what is happening with me. I didn’t get their help until this week.
Post # 12
So starnge but somehow these stories are exactly like mine! You all made me feel like I am going through something typical. THANK YOU!
Post # 13
FH’s family has been similar in the not-helping thing. They don’t disapprove of the marriage, just the wedding itself (because we aren’t inviting kids). It is such a sucky feeling and I hope things have gotten better for you in the past couple weeks!