S/O – I'm the boss. Can I invite just some of my direct reports?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: As the boss, can I only invite a few direct reports to my wedding?
    Yes : (10 votes)
    31 %
    No : (20 votes)
    63 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @LilRhodyGem:  I say invite only friends to your wedding. If you spend time with them outside of work and will continue to even after you leave your current job then invite them. If they are just your colleagues, especially your subordinates, then it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. I have direct reports too and I wouldn’t feel right asking them to buy me a wedding gift (nor would I buy one for my boss). I also wouldn’t invite half of them because if that isn’t favouritism then I don’t know what is.

    Post # 4
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @LilRhodyGem:  I think it’s awkward to invite direct reports because of the whole gifting aspect of weddings.  If you’re really truly friends, you should obviously invite whoever you want, but between not inviting everyone and the fact that your DRs would need to give you a gift, I don’t think it’s a great idea.

    Post # 5
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @LilRhodyGem:  as the boss I don’t think you should invite any direct reports.

    It puts them in an awkward position. Who wants to decline their bosses invitation? And puts them in the position of hving to buy you a gift.

    The exception to this is if you have a well known social relationship with them outside of work. Though I think as a boss you wouldn’t want to show any type of favouritism.

    Post # 7
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @LilRhodyGem:  I posted from the other side of the spectrum, but this is my take on this (I have an easier time dealing with staff for some reason):

    If you are close enough friends with your direct reports to hang out outside the office and can mention to them to keep the wedding invites on the low, then you can invite them. If that is not possible, then I wouldn’t risk it as you are probably not “that close” of friends.

    Post # 8
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @LilRhodyGem:  it really puts your employees in an awkward position. Who wants to decline an invite to the bosses wedding? It is also complicated because they will be getting you a gift.

    Unless you are openly friends with them outside of the office, I would not invite them.

    Also what if later one of those invited gets a promotion, and later complains it was favouritism?  They will have documented proof that you do infact favour other employees.

    Post # 9
    1258 posts
    Bumble bee

    Unless you spend time with them outside the office, don’t invite them. A.k.a. if you have an  assistant and you guys do a Sunday brunch and go shopping together, then great. 

    Post # 10
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

    I’d say just invite those people you want there 🙂

    Post # 11
    1180 posts
    Bumble bee

    @andielovesj:  +1 I say don’t invite any direct reports. You could be asking for a lot of workplace issues and potential charges of favoritism if something happens in the office, as Andie said. I’d say invite all or none, but again as Andie said, you put your direct reports in a tricky situation of having to buy their boss a gift, and/or trying to decide if turning down your invitation will hurt them professionally.

    Just don’t do it. I don’t believe that’s a line you want to cross.

    Post # 12
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I agree with PPs that it is not appropriate to invite direct reports.

    Post # 13
    1527 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Are you prepared for the people you do not invite to give less at work?

    Leave a comment

    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors