SO is adamant that the E ring has to be a diamond..

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Google the history of the diamond engagement ring… it’s NOT historically traditional. In fact, no stone is. Sapphires were used for royalty for the longest time (even with the recent British royal engagement). Other cultures have used rubies. Then search for aquamarine gemstones. They can get expensive… furthermore he can get your ring custom made, and that is not a cheap task either.  It may be a good start to show that it’s not the traditional way to go and there are high-end gemstone options.

Check out the rings category for more examples of nice gemstones.

Post # 3
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you tried asking him point blank why he thinks what a ring should be is more important than what you actually want?

If that fails could you try a compromise?  Have one stone as the center stone and the other as sidestones?

Post # 4
Member
18 posts
Newbee

Many men’s egos are tied into the rings they purchase. they worry if they buy you anything other than a diamond it will look like they cheaped out. Right or wrong, it’s how it looks. You have every right to tell him what you want, but understand why he may be reluctant to go along with you. If you have concerns about blood diamonds, an antique diamond may be an eco friendly alternative. Save the squamarine for a coctail ring, it is not a daily wear stone. You may be able to find a sapphire in a aquamarine shade, but it will not be scratched or cracked in a year or two. Actually sapphires come in a rainbow of colors. Another alternative is a spinel. I have a manmade ruby from the 1910 era I wear, it doesnt have a scratch and the gold is worn down to nothing. Good Luck.   

Post # 5
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I had this issue with my FI. I had a complete suprise ringless proposal so we were engaged when I first started looking at rings. Diamonds are pretty, but I like color. It took a while to convince him that I would prefer a gemstone with diamond as the accents. I started with the history of the diamond engagement ring, went on to explain that a lot of Hollywood are turning to gemstones, and Princess Di and Kate have gorgeous saphires. I also explained that an engagement ring should represent the relationship and that ours was one of a kind, so a gemstone would help show that. He eventually came around and now I have a beautiful rose quartz ring. I knew what I wanted and wouldn’t back down. He realized it is my finger it goes on forever, so I need to love it as much as he needs to be proud of it.

Post # 6
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

misswluu: Is he likely to be receptive to a bit of education regarding the marketing of diamonds and how they have only become dominant as the gem of choice for the last 90(ish) years? Perhaps a little knowledge of the way they are stockpiled and their value artificially inflated will help him to see things as you do. Some men also think of jewellery as an investment, diamonds are like cars, you buy it new and that 100m drive out of the lot onto a major road (making it ‘preowned’) can decrease the value enormously.

If none of that will do perhaps try for a compromise? See if you could sway him in the direction of an aquamarine with a diamond halo and a slim diamond wedding band? Aquamarines look lovely next to shiny, well cut little white diamonds. Cold water and ice 

Post # 7
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

My FI was the same way, and I thought I’d finally had him convinced to get me a moissanite ring.

Per his account, he went to a few jewelry stores and none carried moissanite and one said they could order it but he wasn’t comfortable buying something sight unseen (they wouldn’t order anything without a purchase) so he went to his friend who knows about jewelry, and his friend pretty much confirmed his fears by telling him everyone would think he was cheap and that he’d gotten me a “fake” stone, so he got me a diamond.

I love it, I think it’s beautiful, and I’m happy with it. It’s not what I wanted, but once he proposed with it I was immediately attached to it. You couldn’t pry this ring from my cold dead fingers. 

You of course should be happy with the ring you are wearing, but if you’re the sentimental type like I am, once he gets you something what you wanted kind of flies out the window. 

Post # 8
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

How about a compromise of sapphire with diamond side stones or halo? I say sapphire because aqua is quite soft and will scratch and dull very fast if you wear it daily- you’d have to baby it. They come in lighter shades then the traditional navy Kate/Diana type.

Post # 9
Member
3531 posts
Sugar bee

I was like you and didn’t want a diamond. I instead picked iolite as my stone. I definitely would ask him why it is so important to him for you to have a diamond. Gemstones looking cheap is not a good excuse. Look at Kate Middleton (formerly Princess Diana’s) gorgeous ring. Is he going to say that looks cheap? It’s all in how the ring is designed. I don’t think my ring looks cheap at all, and it in total cost a heck of a lot less than just a diamond would. But my husband wanted me to like the ring and we picked it out together. So I was lucky. does your SO believe if he gets you a diamond he looks cheap? Because he wouldn’t. 

Post # 12
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

misswluu:  I am in two minds about this.. He should have the right to pick out the ring he wants to give you, but you’d think that he’d want to get you something that you LOVE!! Sorry I can’t be of more help!

<br /><br />I LOVED Moissanite, I was very keen to receive a Moissanite engagement ring, he loved it to start with but then I think he had second thoughts and now wants to get a diamond, I am just happy he wants to marry me!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Jessylouise.
Post # 13
Member
710 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think my finace felt the same but not as strongly.  He kept showing me diamond brings with gem side stones.  I was like yeah thats oretty buuuuutt… eventually he asked me to show him a bunch I liked.  So there were like 20 different gem rings at least and maybe 3 diamond I liked just to make him happy.  He went with a stunning purple sapphire qith wite sapphire and diamond side stones.

Maybe you can do something similar?  Good luck! I would probably give him time. Then when you go looking show him how excited gem rings make you and how meh diamonds do.

Post # 14
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

It is pretty, I love the blue green mix with yellow or rose gold, and it looks traditional 🙂 I was in similar boat as you, he refused to buy anything other than diamond. So, when he does propose, I assume I’ll receive a diamond. He had the same ideals, he wanted it to be a diamond and spend a substantial amount of money. I agree with the ego and wants to be comparable to the group he hangs with, who all the ladies sport massive rocks 

Post # 15
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland

My FI feels the same way. I didn’t mind for myself, but I have been very annoyed with his opinion. I have explained to him several times that there is no “requirement” that it is a diamond. When my cousin got engaged he said “Why is it blue? that’s not an engagement ring” It made me so mad! Anything is an engagement ring if you want it to be! Maybe because HE thought that it should be a diamond, he is concerned that others will think that too and that he didn’t get the right kind of ring. Either way- I think you should talk with him about what you want and try to explain the the ring is a symbol for your love and any stone or band can symbolize that. Some people don’t even get a ring!!

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